Confrontation.

[ ] Aggress.
[ ] Mystify.
[ ] Safeguard.
[ ] Flee.

[~~~~~~~~~] Mystify.

Shielded.

[ ] Break.
[ ] Grapple.
[ ] Dispel.
[ ] Negotiate.

[X] Dispel.

[x]Break

Unsuccessful.

[ ] Riposte.
[ ] Relent.
[ ] Regress.
[ ] Resume.

[x]Riposte

Victorious.

[ ] Celebrate.
[ ] Confiscate.
[ ] Cullinate.
[ ] Cremate.

[X] Cullinate.

[X] Cullinate.

To the victor go the spoils.

[Q] Cullinate.

[x] Celebrate.

Paella.

[ ] Consume.
[ ] Share.
[ ] Partition.
[ ] Wash.

[x] Share.

[x] Share.

[X]RIP AND TEAR! [X]Consume

Community.

[ ] Sakuya.
[ ] Remilia.
[ ] Flandre.
[ ] Sapphire.
[ ] Thérèse.

[X] Sakuya.

She is standing opposite to us. It is only logical to focus on the person we can see best.

[X] Sakuya.

Conversation.

[ ] School.
[ ] Work.
[ ] Love.
[ ] Leisure.

>>42819
[x] Existentialism.

[♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥] Love.

[x] Love.

Enthralling.

[Q] Love.

Eh why not.

[x]Consume
That is a party platter, right?

Embarrassing.

[ ] Pressure.
[ ] Privatize.
[ ] Pity.
[ ] Paella.

[~~~~~~~~~~~] Privatize.

[Q] Privatize.

I'm losing track of what all is happening, but oh well.

[X] Paella.

Nice rapeface, Flandre.
[>] Privatize.

[x] Privatize.

[ ] Paella.

Eavesdroppers.

[ ] Ignore.
[ ] Mediate.
[ ] Remove.
[ ] Window.

[ಠ__________ಠ] Remove.

[X] Remove via Window

>>42877
Syntax.

Revolt.

[ ] Assault.
[ ] Block.
[ ] Combination.
[ ] Deny.

[♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠] Assault.

[Q] Combination.

[X] Combination.

[x] Combination.
Disappear.

[x]Deny

Intelligence.

[ ] Resume.
[ ] Retopicate.
[ ] Regress.
[ ] Reaffirm.

[Q] Reaffirm.

[X] Reaffirm.

>Retopicate
Reciprocate?

[x] Reaffirm.

[x] Regress.
I don't even know whats going on.

In was just another Wednesday like any other, and our protagonist was doing nothing of importance. Wendy decided to take a quick nap to rest herself, and woke up much refreshed. There was no sense in prolonging the inevitable, so she decided to get to work on her general education Physics class. One particular problem asked her to solve a system of masses and forces, and determine whether the system was accelerating, decelerating, in equilibrium, or if there was not enough information to solve the problem. After tedious hard work, she chose the last option.

Unfortunately, Wendy was getting nowhere fast, and begrudgingly decided to ask her housemate Thérèse for help. Rather than selfishly ask for assistance, she decided to compromise: help her with something, and she’ll help Thérèse with something. Thérèse, being a strange and quirky young girl, wondered if our protagonist wanted to play the infamous Nintendo game Battletoads in two-player mode, a harrowing and impossible task. Wendy could hardly care less, and agreed.

After a fruitful and enlightening study session, the Physics homework was conquered with little effort, and the video game began. Wendy was quite taken aback by the nonsensical nature of the game; why were anthropomorphic toads riding pig-dragons, and why did they mystically grow ram’s horns when headbutting an opponent? Questions like these would not be answered.

The pair encountered an extreme difficulty jump on the second half of level 3, known for its harrowing hoverbike racing. Rather than continue to be frustrated, they opted to use the godsend device, Game Genie, to assist them with infinite lives, easily-killable enemies, and just skipping straight to the final level. Unfortunately, the advent of infinite lives make them complacent, and considering that “friendly fire” is always on, the game quickly degraded into chaos, and they gave up soon afterwards.

Wendy was getting hungry and decided to go make some dinner. She found the kitchen and cooking appliances already in use by one “Tullia” Tuesday. Rather than negotiate like a rational person, she opts to use unnecessary force to evacuate her. Tullia prepares a strong defensive aura which blocks Wendy’s magical ability to reshape plant material, such as wood, and use it as a weapon. Tullia wishes for no trouble, but makes her disapproval clear by rapping Wendy on the head with a rolling pin. At this close a range Wendy simply counterattacks to great effect, and Tullia simply gives up and relinquishes the kitchen.

Victorious, Wendy makes a large skillet of paella, an enchanting dish of rice, shrimp, and vegetables. There’s far too much to eat by herself, so she goes around the house and asks if any would like to sup with her. This campaign joins her with Sakuya, Remilia, Flandre, Sapphire, and Thérèse. The six make idle conversation during dinner. Wendy focuses on talking to Sakuya, and in a tactless display of nosiness asks her about her love life in front of everyone. She becomes extremely skittish and uncomfortable, while the vampire sisters grow unhealthily interested.

Wendy attempts to salvage the scenario by asking Sakuya to discuss it privately with her in her room. Unfortunately they are followed by the vampires, who persist in wanting to know juicy details like the horrible rumor-mills they are. The four of them engage in epic battle for scant seconds, before Wendy just suggests using her time powers to remove them, which she does, moving them into the white void outside of the sorority walls.

The above wall is 577 words long. Unnecessarily loquacious.

Discomfited.

[ ] Persist.
[ ] Leave.
[ ] Encourage.
[ ] Wait.

>The above wall is 577 words long
Making it 2219.23% the length of the story it 'summarises'.

[X] Wait.

[Q] Encourage.

[x] Encourage.

[x] Persist.

[x] Encourage.

[X] Encourage.

[x]Persist

M-M-M-Meiling.

[ ] Congratulations.
[ ] Okay.
[ ] What.
[ ] No.
[ ] Window.

[x] What.

[x] Window.

[x] Window.

When in doubt, window.

[x] Congratulations.
Respectful.

[Q] Congratulations.

That works.

[x] Congratulations.

[+] Congratulations.

[*] Congratulations.

Bashful.

[ ] Discuss.
[ ] Leave.
[ ] Matchmake.
[ ] Heartbreak.

[Q] Matchmake.

[++++++++++++++] Matchmake.

[x] Matchmake.

[x] Heartbreak.
Sakuya doesn't have red hair. It'll never work out.

Coercion.

[ ] Leave.
[ ] Guard.
[ ] Explain.
[ ] Reveal.

[x] Guard.

[*] Guard.

Interloper.

[ ] Ignore.
[ ] Inform.
[ ] Impede.
[ ] Inflict.

[ ] Impede.

[X] Impede.

Kitchenbound.

[ ] Proceed.
[ ] Lies.
[ ] Lecture.
[ ] Paella.

[x] Lies
Thérèse

[X] Paella.

[*] Paella.

[x] Lies.

[X] Paella.

Vegetarian.

[ ] Proceed.
[ ] Lies.
[ ] Lecture.
[ ] Window Door.

[*] Lies.

[x] Lies.

>>43046
undiscovered

[x] Lies

>>43049

>>28621
>"...I think omelets today would be good. Do you allow yourself to eat meat? I know some of you don’t. Connection to nature-life or something.”
>“Oh, umm, no, no meat please. But you can have some on yours if you want! I don’t mind.”
Behold.

Disparity.

[ ] Offend.
[ ] Defend.
[ ] Graze.
[ ] Bomb.

>>43051
>vs. Francesca

Well, we're fucked.

[X] Bomb.

>>43050
Apologies

>>43051
Armor

[x] Defend.

[ ] Offend.

Fran never was good at attacking, was she?

>>43057
Hopeless.
>[x] Francesca: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
>Ability “Plot Armor” = She’s the protagonist of A Fairy’s Tale. No matter what happens to her, somehow it’ll all turn out right in the end!

[x] Defend.

[x] Graze.

[♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦]Defend.

Stalemate.

[ ] Assail.
[ ] Outlast.
[ ] Apologize.
[ ] Distract.

[x] Distract.

[16] Apologize.

Formidable.

[*] Outlast.

[X] Apologize.

[x] Apologize
Harden.

Accepted.

[ ] Eavesdrop.
[ ] Socialize.
[ ] Wander.
[ ] Consult.

[x] Consult.

[Seventeen]Consult.

Ally.

[ ] Chill.
[ ] Discuss.
[ ] Debate.
[ ] Debase.

[XVIII]Debate.

[x] Debate.

[S] Chill.

Decapitation

[ ] For.
[ ] Against.
[ ] Abstain.
[ ] Window.

[X] Against.

[x] Window.

[*] Window.

Utopia.

END.

DERP WARS
Dogmatic escapades regulated poorly.


CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER:

[OK!]Meiling: 3 POW, 1 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Chi Channel” = She can bend the flow of a creature’s life force. Pack a fist with energy or make the enemy feel unnaturally weak; she may do both!

[OK!] Koakuma: 1 POW, 2 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “Spirit Form” = She can return to her natural(?) form of a black smoky miasma. Foes will be hard-put to find her weak spots like this!

[ ] Patchouli: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “Jack of all Magical Trades” = She knows spells about practically anything. Her opponents won’t know what to expect from her!

[OK!] Sakuya: 2 POW, 3 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Time Warp” = She can stop time in an instant. Great for a quick retreat or setting up traps!

[ ] Remilia: 1 POW, 3 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Scarlet Cloud” = She can change into a fine red mist or a flurry of bats. It’ll be great for unbalancing her enemies or hiding in the shadows for a sneak attack!

[ ] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Four Of A Kind” = Instantly disintegrating the opponent isn’t fun or fair at all! She’d much rather split into four copies of herself like the little hellion she is!

[ ]Sunhilda: 3 POW, 1 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Fairy Kung Fu” = China taught her everything she knows. Her frenzied fighting style is madness to defend against!

[ ] Monica: 1 POW, 3 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Tiny Sprite” = She’s the smallest girl around. Buzzing around in a fight, she’s practically impossible to hit!

[ ] Tullia: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Steadfast Knight” = She thinks only of keeping herself and others safe. Her defensive tactics are second to none!

[OK!] Wendy: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Nature Defender” = She was once a spirit who protected the land. Even as a fairy, she can call on the earth and plants to fight with her!

[ ] Therese: 1 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “MetaTransWhateverMorph” = When you’re made of magic, you can look like anything you want. She can change her form to attack however she pleases!

[ ] Francesca: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Plot Armor” = She’s the protagonist of A Fairy’s Tale. No matter what happens to her, somehow it’ll all turn out right in the end!

[ ] Sapphire: 1 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Vampire Kiss” = As part-fairy part-vampire, she enjoys the best of both worlds. Her determination to prove her strength makes her a terrible opponent to defeat!

*All Fairy’s Ability “Magic Body” = A fairy is just made of spiritual dust. They may be small, but they won’t stay down as long as normal people will!

HIDDEN CHARACTER!
[ ] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC
Ability “???? ???????????”

Complete Story Mode to unlock Extra Mode!

>>43115
Success.

[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC
'Kay.

[x] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC
Ability “???? ???????????”

[X] Patchouli: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC

[i] Patchouli: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC

Yeah. THis sounds good.

[10+9]???????

[x] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC
This fourth wall is an eyesore. Disappear.
>>43115
Awesome.

[x] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC

[x] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC

The time has come.

[ ] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC
Ability “???? ???????????”

Is this Koishi or is it Missa Harold?

[x] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC

[Q] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC

Yay~

YOU are not Nue Houjuu. She was someplace altogether different during the events of AFT and thus has no established personality to affectionately parody. The teaser for this episode clearly said “A MU challenger approaches”, not a NU challenger. What were you thinking?

YOU are not Mu-12, because Princess Tepes screwed up and thought μ was nu when it was actually mu. Mu has no relevance here, because Tepes mains Hakumen, albeit poorly, and does not know how to properly use Zanshin. This joke has failed utterly and we shall move away from it.

YOU are Flandre Scarlet, cute and huggable younger sister of the pissy Remilia, who heads up this chapter of Sig-Del-Mu. At one point in your life you might have been going for a Psychology major or something like that, but you are pretty much just a professional college student now, and happy to be so. Your family is ludicrously rich, so you could care less. Everyone says that college is the best time of your life.

You have a bit of a problem in perceiving reality around you and maintaining a coherent train of thought. You cannot trust your own eyes and ears, because in space no one can hear you scream. You killed your parents once, but you got over that. Kind of.

The voices are real. If they weren’t real, you wouldn’t be able to hear them. To hear them is to acknowledge that in some definition of the word, they exist. But you still tend to disregard their advice, because they suck.

Koishi sucks too. But you love her, because you hate her and she hates you, only because she loves you. The relationship makes perfect sense and should not be questioned.

You currently do not trust anything around you to be real.

[ ] Find out where you are.
[ ] Pretend to be someplace absurd (write-in)
[ ] Carry on; you’re used to it.
[ ] Discuss your predicament with the voices.
[ ] Use your broken subconscious to find out where Koishi is hiding.

[x] Find out where you are.

[Q] Find out where you are.

[x] Discuss your predicament with the voices.

>Mu has no relevance here

No one plays Mu ;_;

[x] Pretend to be someplace absurd
[x] In a room with a middle aged Japanese Drunkard wearing a funny cap.

[*] Pretend to be someplace absurd
[*] In a room full of alcohol with a middle aged Japanese Drunkard wearing a funny cap.

Minor edit.

[ ] Pretend to be someplace absurd (write-in)

Pop Zooom pow pow pew pew zigggg zag lazers!

>YOU are not Nue Houjuu. She was someplace altogether different during the events of AFT and thus has no established personality to affectionately parody. The teaser for this episode clearly said “A MU challenger approaches”, not a NU challenger. What were you thinking?

Hahaha, poor Nue. ;_;

[ ] Discuss your predicament with the voices.

Voices, voices, she heard voices.

You wonder where you are. Perhaps you’re in a very strange and absurd place; anything is possible, after all! You might be completely drunk for all you know! You could be completely drunk and have ended up in Japan for all you know! You could be completely drunk in Japan and lying semi-conscious on the floor of a middle-aged hat-fetishist’s house for all you know! Even now he might be as shitfaced as you, seeing you lying sprawled out on the floor, getting ideas. Horrible, impure ideas. Ideas like making a video game about you, and people like you, and by that you mean girls with no breasts! The game will be of the worst and most frustrating genre: top-down one-hit-kill shmup. The difficulty will be that of the Nintendo Entertainment System games of old… on easy. As this gaunt beanpole approaches the forbidden alcoholic realm of the Balmer Peak and begins his work, you will sink back into the bottom of a bottle and dream of many things, only to wake and find yourself in a back alley leaking various bodily fluids.

Actually, no; that’s just silly. Even you aren’t that insane. It’d have been a side-scrolling shmup.

You ask the voices’ opinion of the matter. The Flandranon cabal thinks that you might have shifted your continuum, and need to find your alternate-universe vampire mother and take control of your birthright, the Take-Mikazuchi. Only then will you discover that you are actually ω-24 from the future that shouldn’t exist anymore, and you will transform into a scantily-clad mecha-musume for no apparent reason. It will make perfect sense in context.

The cabal is clearly full of crap.

You take some time to chillax to the max and sort yourself out. You feel like you’re sitting down. All right, that’s progress! And there’s a bright light in front of you; now you’re getting somewhere! You think you hear the voice of William Cosby performing a comedy routine; this is probably not actually happening.

You return to a semi-sane state. Apparently you were surfing the internet for your own name in an attempt to start an infinite recursion loop somehow. You’ve got a good feeling about this idea, but so far it has yet to bear fruit: you keep getting results for either The Simpsons fanfiction or Belgian porn stars. This is about par for the course.

[ ] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.
[ ] Blow something up; that always helps.
[ ] Big sister knows best.
[ ] Discuss your predicament with the voices.
[ ] Koishi always knows what’s going down in funkytown.

[x] Blow something up; that always helps.
>Big sister knows best.
This is a trap.

[x] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.

[x] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.

[x] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.

[x] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.
We have entered an endless recursion of results.

[Q] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB.

[x] Take a picture of yourself and try IQDB

[X] Go to http://www.touhou-project.com/
-[X] Search for yourself here.

I CAN SEE FOREVER!

[X] Go to http://www.touhou-project.com/
-[X] Search for yourself here.

Technology is a beautiful thing. You live in a magic world where the gadgets of James Bond are actually real! Things like facial recognition, x-ray glasses, and helicopters you can make yourself out of parts commonly found in your house, just pay $25 for this instruction manual plus shipping and handling! Since you Google-fu has failed you for the moment, perhaps an image-query search will be faster! You’re probably crazy enough to have been in some kind of anime in an alternate dimension that is separate from your own in every way except for the internet you’re using, so the ever-helpful iqdb.org will be perfect! You’ve used it countless times in place of acting like an idiot on forums by asking “higher rez plz?” and “source plz?” and who knows how many other lame posts. People on the internet sure are dumb!

The voices tell you that you’re also on the internet, making you equally dumb, but you’re the girl of the quadruple-standard and are immune. That shuts about half of them up, while the other half help you take a sweet self-portrait of yourself. Not in your own room, of course; you use Thérèse’s. Your room is too awesome to let the tubes see it. The Man’s got a hold on The Company, and The System is everywhere!

Ahh, IQDB. How easily confused you are. It’s really quite amusing, trying to puzzle out why the algorithm thinks certain pictures look like certain other pictures. You could spend hours abusing its confusion by querying completely random images and seeing how many of the results are porn. But you already did that today, and it was boring in retrospect. Clearly a better picture is necessary; you snap a glamour-shot in front of an authentic stone wall instead.

Who are these sluts? They don’t look anything like you at all! The lolgorithm must be getting confused by the dark grey wall and thinking its your hair. Of course! The image database is full of vanilla drawings of characters on a white background! Fan artists are lazy and cannot be bothered to finish a drawing past the character itself! People on the internet sure are dumb! You hastily cut yourself out of the previous picture with anti-aliasing and slap yourself onto a flat, white background. Genius!

All right, the hell will this. Get out of here Aerith; you’re dead. You’re so dead they brought you back just so you could die again. No one even bothers to get your Final Limit anyways. And you’re the default character for the date for lazy people. Seriously. Litchi, what are you doing here?! 13 Orphans is such a better Yakuman than Nine Gates, the hell is up with your Astral?! Carl, you just suck. You talk to people who don’t exist. And have blond hair. And are short. And have a stupid hat.

The internet is a foul beast that preys upon the souls of the weak and the damned. Never has it been ally to anyone, least of all you; it takes without giving and poisons without purifying. Clearly more intelligent tactics are necessary to find what has absolutely no reason whatsoever to exist.

[ ] Koishi is laughing at you. Slap her.
[ ] Blow up the internet.
[ ] Divide and conquer.
[ ] Whine to Remi to use her fate hax for you.
[ ] You’ll find it once you stop looking for it.

[*] You’ll find it once you stop looking for it.

In my experience, this has been the case.

[X] You’ll find it once you stop looking for it.

The universe is perverse.

[X] Blow up the internet.

Take that, you damn tubes!

>>43170
No! I need the interweb to read this story!

[x] You’ll find it once you stop looking for it.

[x] "If you build it, she will come"

[ ] Koishi is laughing at you. Slap her.

Damnit Koishi, it's not polite to laugh at other's disgrace.

You’re already bored. The infinite-recursion self-referential loop will fix itself probably, but you’ve already stopped caring if it does or not. You are probably known for having a harrowingly short attention span, except for all those times you’ve had a harrowingly long one. Actually, scratch that; you have absolutely no clue what the norm is for you.

James Earl Jones is advising you to go the distance. While Field of Dreams was an excellent movie about the purity of the great American pastime—unlike now—you are incapable of building anything for anyone to come to, because you are not a Civil Engineering major. You will make a note to inform Terrence Mann that in his anger, he killed Padme. Or he would have, if those movies existed, but they do not.

You will distract yourself by playing video games with you fellow basement-dweller. You and Thérèse have been working very hard at triumphing over Battletoads legitimately, without the use of childish, easy-mode cheats. Only an insane person like you could ever hope to have the persistence to slog through the wasteland of fuse-igniting platforming. You would wonder why there is nothing funny in this paragraph, but unfortunately for you the fourth, or possibly fifth, wall has not yet been broken and you are oblivious to the boringness of this section of the post.

The Turbo Tunnel poses no challenge whatsoever. Simple memorization and a knowledge of the lag on your jumps makes all but the final stretch a breeze. You are approaching the critical junction in which you may megawarp straight to Level 5, or continue onwards to Level 4 in an effort to megawarp there to Level 6. Megawarps are not cheating any more than warp pipes in Mario are cheating, and seriously you’re crazy if you try and beat this game without using them.

[ ] Take the warp; Level 5 is easy.
[ ] Skip the warp and take the one in Level 4; Level 5 is hard.
[ ] Lunatic modo; warps are for elementary-school children.
[ ] Ask Wendy what she did when she played with Thérèse that one time.
[ ] Try and blow up obstacles in the game; you’ll never get better if you don’t challenge yourself.
[ ] Koishi is a wellspring of knowledge. And aggravation. But Battletoads is even moreso.

>>43183

That's two now, Q. I don't know how you keep pulling this off.

>>43185
Years of training and dedication.

[Q] Try and blow up obstacles in the game; you’ll never get better if you don’t challenge yourself.

[x] Lunatic modo; warps are for elementary-school children.
100% run!

[X] Lunatic modo; warps are for elementary-school children.

[x] Try and blow up obstacles in the game; you’ll never get better if you don’t challenge yourself.

[x] Lunatic modo; warps are for elementary-school children.

[*] Lunatic modo; warps are for elementary-school children.

Goin' maverick.

] Koishi is a wellspring of knowledge. And aggravation. But Battletoads is even moreso.

You will give yourselves a challenge this time, and not take any of the mega-warps. In this way you will rack up hundreds of thousands of points and so many lives that the life counter won’t be able to keep track of them all! You’ll be preparing for the future, just like investing in a college fund that you blew on a new car you totaled before you even got out of high school!

Level 4 is the requisite ice level and synchronizing your jumps are absolute murder; confound the forced scrolling killing Thérèse off the bottom of the screen. Fortunately you take advantage of an infinite 1-UP loop in Level 5 to compensate; so nice of the developers to give hard-working players an exploit such as this. This game isn’t all that difficult, it just takes a little practice to realize that you don’t have infinite continues and can’t regenerate health by sitting behind a crate and sucking your thumb! Those are games for elementary schoolers and frat boys!

You are having considerable difficulty in riding the snakes. The pimp’s all up ins the crib, but if you drop it like it’s hot bitch gonna get smacked up. Every time you’re forced to use a continue, that megawarp at the far edge of screen two taunts you again and again with it’s alluring hypnotic patterns. How you dearly want to take it; Level 7 takes so much synchro you’ll forget you ever thought the hoverbikes were even hard. Shit’s nasty-tight, bizznitches; bad girls’ be all up straight-trippin’ on that high voltage, poppin’ caps, and the f-bombs be droppin’ like bleepity-bleep-beep-beep. You are fairly certain none of that means anything; you just like to say it to pretend that you’re mentally retarded.

The voices remind you that you are not a child. Easy Mode does not exist; the very concept is repulsive to this game! it’s unforgivable to play Easy Mode unless you’re an elementary kid, right?! Easy Mode?! How weak! Didn’t you just say that a little while ago? You wonder why you think it’s important.

The FOURTH-WALL INTEGRETY GRAPHIC shows signs of weakening.

[ ] Punch integrity graphic.
[ ] Punch Koishi.
[ ] Rearrange the squares on the integrity graphic into a chessboard.
[ ] Realize that it’s an optical illusion; the lines are perfectly straight and nothing is wrong.
[ ] Wonder who uprooted the bathroom tiles and put them in Thérèse’s room.
[ ] It’s all a lie. Battletoads is real right now; everything else is a trick.

[x] It’s all a lie. Battletoads is real right now; everything else is a trick.

[x] Claim Tepes Room as your own. Raid his/her fridge for alcohol and invite Koishi to the party.

[X] Ignore it, the integrety is within acceptable parameters.
-[X] Besides, it's the fifth wall you should be worried about.

[x]Punch Thérèse

[x]>>43213

[X] Rearrange the squares on the integrity graphic into a chessboard.

BEATORIII(ry

[ ] Punch Koishi.

Poor Koishi, it's not her fault, but she needs it.

[ ] Rearrange the squares on the integrity graphic into a chessboard.

[X] Punch Koishi.

You ask Thérèse why the heck she’s got that stupid optical illusion hanging on her wall, because it’s not fooling anyone. You live in an era of skepticism where anyone looking at an optical illusion will instantly assume that the correct answer is the one which seems wrong. Perhaps there is an immensely deep social statement in those words. Your comrade in absurdity informs you that it’s actually a hole in the wall to the bathroom beyond, and that’s the pseudo-checkerboard pattern of the floor tiles. Oh yeah, that’s right; you blew a hole in the wall about an hour ago and promptly forgot that you did. Sakuya’ll fix it eventually. You ignore it; the structural integrity is within acceptable parameters.

You suddenly get bored with Battletoads and wonder what it’d be like to play chess on skewed squares like that. Probably like a hex system hardcore roleplayers are so fond of or something. That’s a lame way to roleplay; maps should be free range because diagonal movement is a horribly inaccurate approximation of the square root of two. You feel like you should rearrange the tiles into an orthogonal grid then set up pieces on the floor so the whole house can play chess every one move at a time whenever they use the bathroom.

You get bored with that idea and punch Koishi in the face with the INTEGRETY GRAPHIC.

[ ] Go mad with the realization.
[ ] Blame Koishi for everything that is wrong with this picture.
[ ] Ask Koishi to tell you the ultimate question.
[ ] Kiss her and break the spell.
[ ] YOU’RE THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!

[x] Blame Tepes for everything that is wrong with this picture.

>>43224
I do believe I could watch this .gif all day.

[X] Investigate the integrity of the spelling of the INTEGRETY[sic] GRAPHIC.
[X] Then hit Koishi with it some more.

[x] The INTEGRETY GRAPHIC is boxed in! Throw it out the window!

[x] Blame Tepes for everything that is wrong with this picture.
[x] Then kiss Koishi

>Oh yeah, that’s right; you blew a hole in the wall about an hour ago and promptly forgot that you did.
Wait, I thought that was Koa.

[X] Blame Tepes for everything that is wrong with this picture.

[X] Blame Tepes' INTEGRETY for everything that is wrong with this picture.

[ ] Kiss her and break the spell.

Enought with the meta, it wasn't funny the first time, it won't be funny now, even as Flandre.

[Q] Kiss her and break the spell.

This is weird.

[x] The INTEGRETY GRAPHIC is boxed in! Throw it out the window!

>>43239

I like it a lot. Stop being such a derp.

[X] Blame Koishi for everything that is wrong with this picture.

This is all DecadeKoishi's fault!

[x] The INTEGRETY GRAPHIC is boxed in! Throw it out the window!

[X] The INTEGRETY GRAPHIC is boxed in! Throw it out the window!

This is such a stupid option.

A.K.A. Perfect for Flandre

[X] YOU’RE THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!

[X] Ask Koishi to tell you the ultimate question.

Your fury knows no bounds. Koishi’s heartless is a symptom of the disease, not the disease itself. She’s done frustratingly little to assuage the ailment, but it dawns on you that it’s not her fault. There is another, far more responsible than her, who is to blame. A figure beyond this world, past both reach and grasp, whose sphere of influence transcends the time of your world. It has made you what you are, and has caused you no end of grief from the day you were born. It’s all Tepes’ fault!

Curse you, Vlad the Third! It was your innocuous existence that spurred Bram Stoker into creating the character known as Count Dracula! A smooth-talking, suave villain who would quickly become stereotyped and malformed into a shadow of his former self by the Western world! The legion of mediocre vampires would spread throughout all media, becoming naught but a laughingstock for all the world to see! As the twentieth century drew to a close, shoddy examples of vampires would spring up more and more, caring only for popularity and niche appeal. They would be weak, inelegant, and pointless, only to be replaced in several years with sickening examples of nosferatu that were strong, beautiful, and equally pointless. And from this miserable pile and cesspit of secrets, hatred, and lies, Koishi would appear, and every day remind you how utterly far your race has fallen in the eyes of the world. Every wound that could be opened, she would open, and would forever be a mild inconvenience to you, as a roleplayer who refuses to shut up about their character.

It’s all Tepes’ fault.

In your rage you hurl the INTEGRETY INTEGRITY GRAPHIC through the “window”, which is not actually a window but a hole in the wall, which is actually kind of like a window. There is nothing left for it here; it has served its purpose and has now become an eyesore. You refocus on Koishi, who has taken residence on top of the television, Thérèse’s head, and the ceiling despite the fact that you are not masturbating right now. You’re far too upset over Tepes’ innocent blundering to care about which one of them is real.

[x] Investigate this phenomenon.

[X] Move that silly GRAPHIC thing out of the way; it will make the text happier.

It will.

[x] Forget about Koishi, we are cutting our losses and pulling out! Anybody left down there now is on her own, repeat, if you weren't already, you are now!

[X] Move that silly GRAPHIC thing out of the way; it will make the text happier.
[X] Grab your adventuring gear; this might possibly be bat country!

[X] Grab your adventuring gear; this might possibly be bat country!

Bat country. Perfect for a vampire!

[X] Grab your adventuring gear; this might possibly be bat country!

[x] What are all those boxes down there?! Can you click them?!
SIEZE YOUR DESTINY

[x] What are all those boxes down there?! Can you click them?!

[x] Forge new adventuring equipment out of the .png.
This is really genius. I have to save the pictures extra when i save the threads.

>>43290

Thank you, Archive Guy! You're like a friendly helpful ninja or something!

[x] What are all those boxes down there?! Can you click them?!
Flandre will be the second character in THP's history to seize his/her own destiny despite our votes. The other one... didn't end so well. I wonder if Mokou still remembers him?

[*]Rearrange all the letters and talk to their author. It'll be just like Ghostwriter!

Ghostwriter was an awesome show and I miss it dearly. Insert some non-nostalgia-based reasoning here.

[*]Rearrange all the letters and talk to their author. It'll be just like Ghostwriter!

When you have nostalgia who needs thought.

[x]>>43294

[ ] CLICK ME
[ ] CLICK ME
[ ] CLICK ME CLICK ME CLICK ME

[X] Forge new adventuring equipment out of the .png.

Has Flandre given herself to the evil that is Minecraft yet?

[X] What are all those boxes down there?! Can you click them?!

[x] Metagame.
Time Paradox.

[x] Metagame

Out think the boxes Flan!

[X] Throw an x down here like a ninja star. Several xes even!

>You always wondered what it'd be like to read that silly book, as you look at this very text and see yourself wondering what it'd be like to read that silly book, as you look at this very text and see yourself wondering what it'd be like-
Reminds me of some of the manuscript pages from Alan Wake. "[Agent Nightingale] reached for his hip flask when he reached the page where he reached for his hip flask when he reached the page where he reached for his hip flask. His mind reeled, and it wasn't from the alcohol."

[x] Make a write-in. Those are implicit on every vote so... wait, why am I explaining what you're going to do: you already know that!

[X] PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX.

>>43316
I think it should sound like a line from Die Hard.

[x] Make a write-in. Those are implicit on every vote so... wait, why am I explaining what you're going to do: you already know that!

[X] Make a write-in. Those are implicit on every vote so... wait, why am I explaining what you're going to do: you already know that!

http://www.touhou-project.com/sdm/res/43348.html

If I ever find you in this thread, Tepes, I'm telling them EVERYTHING.

>[ ] Be Deadpool already.
But you're already better than him.

[X] Break some more stuff. Maybe you'll get lucky.
What the... I can't vote?

[X] Bang! be a shining example of an informed internet vampire and explode in to full life consequences! and probably question the world in retrospect. Seriously, be awesome awesomeness, sparkly Lillith!!

god dam I wish I knew how to preview.

[X]Realize the futility of your actions

Anonymous bows down to no one.

[X] Bang! be a shining example of an informed internet vampire and explode in to full life consequences! and probably question the world in retrospect. Seriously, be awesome awesomeness, sparkly Lillith!!

things have gone meta...

>>43399
Horrifyingly so.

DERP WARS
Dorky enigmas role-playing.

NEW FEATURE!
[ ] EXTRA MODE: Higher stakes for higher rollers! Activate to use EX-characters with improved stats and improved abilities! WARNING: This causes your opponents to become EX-level as well!


CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER:

[OK!]Meiling: 3 POW, 1 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Chi Channel” = She can bend the flow of a creature’s life force. Pack a fist with energy or make the enemy feel unnaturally weak; she may do both!

[OK!] Koakuma: 1 POW, 2 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “Spirit Form” = She can return to her natural(?) form of a black smoky miasma. Foes will be hard-put to find her weak spots like this!

[ ] Patchouli: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “Jack of all Magical Trades” = She knows spells about practically anything. Her opponents won’t know what to expect from her!

[OK!] Sakuya: 2 POW, 3 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Time Warp” = She can stop time in an instant. Great for a quick retreat or setting up traps!

[ ] Remilia: 1 POW, 3 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Scarlet Cloud” = She can change into a fine red mist or a flurry of bats. It’ll be great for unbalancing her enemies or hiding in the shadows for a sneak attack!

[???] Flandre: 3 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Four Of A Kind” = Instantly disintegrating the opponent isn’t fun or fair at all! She’d much rather split into four copies of herself like the little hellion she is!

[ ] Sunhilda: 3 POW, 1 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Fairy Kung Fu” = China taught her everything she knows. Her frenzied fighting style is madness to defend against!

[ ] Monica: 1 POW, 3 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Tiny Sprite” = She’s the smallest girl around. Buzzing around in a fight, she’s practically impossible to hit!

[ ] Tullia: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Steadfast Knight” = She thinks only of keeping herself and others safe. Her defensive tactics are second to none!

[OK!] Wendy: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 1 FOC
Ability “Nature Defender” = She was once a spirit who protected the land. Even as a fairy, she can call on the earth and plants to fight with her!

[ ] Therese: 1 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC
Ability “MetaTransWhateverMorph” = When you’re made of magic, you can look like anything you want. She can change her form to attack however she pleases!

[ ] Francesca: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Plot Armor” = She’s the protagonist of A Fairy’s Tale. No matter what happens to her, somehow it’ll all turn out right in the end!

[ ] Sapphire: 1 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
Ability “Vampire Kiss” = As part-fairy part-vampire, she enjoys the best of both worlds. Her determination to prove her strength makes her a terrible opponent to defeat!

*All Fairy’s Ability “Magic Body” = A fairy is just made of spiritual dust. They may be small, but they won’t stay down as long as normal people will!

HIDDEN CHARACTER!
[ ] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC
Ability “???? ???????????”

Complete Extra Mode to unlock ...?!

[Q] Therese: 1 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC

She's been appearing enough, let's get her side.

[x] Francesca: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC
It is time.

[x] Remilia: 1 POW, 3 SPD, 2 FOC
I for one liked Flandres scenario.

[x] EXTRA MODE
[x] Francesca: 2 POW, 2 SPD, 2 FOC

[X] Patchouli: 2 POW, 1 SPD, 3 FOC

[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC

I'm going to keep voting for the hidden character until it wins.

Real-world note here: I have a strong suspicion that I may run out of steam before you get through all the characters. So please don't try and "leave" characters for a later date; just vote for them now and let what happens happens. Derp Wars is just a silly time-waster anyways; I won't feel bad about not doing every character, and you shouldn't either.

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC

>>43449
So be it. Previous vote deleted, ALL IN

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC

[X] EXTRA MODE
[X] ???????: ? POW," SPD," FOC