Alright time for a new thread! make sure to see and participate in the sidestory thread:
http://www.touhouproject.com/eientei/res/2005.html --------
Darkness.
All around you.
As far as you can see.
How many times has it been that you've seen this? A great dark void, engulfing all of your senses, numbing your thought process.
But wait - this time it's different. All of your senses are working. It's not that you can't see, but rather there nothing to be seen. You can form coherent thoughts and you are in full control. You try to understand where you are and what you're doing, but you keep drawing a blank. You can't remember how you got here nor what you were supposed to be doing. You panic. This is an unfamiliar situation, and the apparent complete control over your senses and functions scares you more than not having control.
Nothing. Nothing comes from your panic. You still cannot see anything and your other senses are also not receiving any stimuli. After flailing about for a while you notice that you can almost see something. It's as if you can tell you'll be able to see it before it actual becomes visible. You take a deep breath and strain your eyes as best you can. And there it is.
Light.
Theres a source of light in a place like this after all. You now have a new destination. You think it, and you get closer to the source of light. Apparently you can manipulate things in this world just by thinking it. You keep getting closer to the light and notice it's like a phantasmagoria. Rapidly shifting images all superimposed on what can only be described as an ethereal apparition. You try to take a glance at what the images are of and you're surprised to realize that you know these images.
The Eiffel Tower. A house you lived in when small. Your prom date.
All these images are of things you have seen during your lifetime. Upon recognizing them you start freaking out. There's no reason why these should be appearing these, useless, redundant bits of information. You despise them. It's an eyesore to see these unimportant sequences. You are someone else, defined by other things.
“Disappear!” You hear yourself shouting out before you realize it.
And as if reacting to your exclamation the images disperse, leaving a void-like swirl in its place. You want to get closer to the void and it is thus. Now you're face to face with the vortex. You note that it's almost miasma-like in composition. Still you decide to venture forth.
Black changes into white. Now as far as your eye can see there's white. You think of your favorite anime, and suddenly a scene from it appears off in the distance. You think about Japan, and your mental imagery of Japan is projected as well. You realize that this place must be some sort of projection hall of the mind. Upon reaching that realization you hear a voice behind you.
You turn around, and see what seems to be yourself. Except he's wearing his normal clothes instead of the kimono you've got on. You ask him what's going on, but you already know the answer.
“What's going on here?”
“You know what's going on.”
“Yes - this place is my own mind. But why am I here?”
“That is simple there is something you wanted to confirm.”
“Where is it?”
“That I believe that you know as well.”
“Yes - I do. This place is after all my own creation.”
You dismiss yourself and go to where you know you have to go. The white expanse disappears and you're in your room. Your room before coming to Eientei. The normal laws of physics seem to be in effect as you can walk and move around with no problem. You interact with your PC. It would seem that there's a new kernel update, you decide to not question the meaning of an update to the kernel of your computer that happens to be a projection of your mind. Instead, you check your regular imageboards for advice.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Even in your own reality anon keeps suggesting senseless things. Things like 'pee on the floor and have Cirno freeze it' and 'moonwalking'. These things will not help you move on you think.
You search elsewhere in your room. Stale food and beer are obviously not the answer. You search your bed, nothing there except a few dirty tissues and controllers. Not here either. You then search your video games. Nothing here that looks out of the normal. Your manga is next. Nothing, although it is a nice detail that you also apparently have all the manga that you've pirated in physical form in this world.
Wait.
Maybe that's it. All that I enjoy and wish to have has form in this world.
You look at your figs. They're all there in their full glory. You examine them carefully, despite your rare indulgence in lusting over them, they're all in great condition. You treat your more important figs with the utmost respect, never doing anything to harm them. It would seem that in this world you also have all those figs that you could never have. All those you lost to snipers on online auctions, or those that never had a second production run. They're all here. You cherish them as you realize that reality will never be as good as this. But something bothers you.
“It's not here.” You say to yourself.
You search. You can't find it. You look again. Not there.
Not there.
Not there.
Not there.
The most important one of them all and it's not there. You curse yourself. If this a world made from your own consciousness, why wouldn't it be here. After all it's the one you care the most about. This makes no sense. You curse. And then you despair. You break down and start sobbing.
“If I can't have it even in my own world, then I can never have it?” You say in between sobs.
You're crushed. Your room fades away. Only your despair now resonates throughout this microcosm.
Missing. Gone. Vanished.
Simple fact is that it's not there. What's the point of trying to live without it? You might as well try to end it all. As you're about to command your brain to shut you away from yourself forever, thus killing yourself, you hear a voice.
“Is life so meaningless without it?”
“Yes.” You simply reply. “If I can't have it, then what's the point of going on?”
“Even if you could be potentially happy without it? Even though you could find out that it isn't an absolute truth?” The voice inquires.
“Yes. As far as I know, life is not worth living if I can never have it. Even if I don't have it now, if one day I do, it'll make everything worth it.” You somberly reply.
“Very well then.” The voice says. Then there is silence. A most unsettling silence. It is as if the silence were deafening,
But it would seem that nothing is eternal in this world. Everything moves and everything eventually changes. And right in front of you it appears. That which you've been longing for all this time.
No - 'it' and 'that' are too harsh of words to describe the one person that you desire above all else.
Nothing in this world could keep you from the person now. It is most unfortunate then that it is something from beyond this world that keeps you from fulfilling your goal. But even as you realize that you're regaining conscious you do not despair, because you know that as long as you're alive you'll be able to reach that person.
And you open your eyes.
