[X] Hit that forest up for the biggest tree you can find and drill yourself a bitchin' boat.

Ain't no commodore without a boat.

...You're back becaue of that anon on the last retarded story we've had here on /th/, right? That one abandoned on the same first thread?

>Bro&
Being a respectable member of the community does not give you carte-blanche to shit all over the boards.

[x]"GET BORED"

>>132456
JUST AS PLANNED.
whodafunk dat mai rturded cuments wud brin back COMMODORE PERRY from the grave?

[X] Hit that forest up for the biggest tree you can find and drill yourself a bitchin' boat.
[X] Don't stop there, why build a boat when you can build an entire FUKING ARMARA OUT OF THAT SHIT. REDUCE THAT FOREST TO NOTHING BUT DEAD TREE STUMPS
[X] NO MEN TO MAN THE SHIPS WE'VE BUILT? BULLSHIT! WERE MOTHERFUCKING COMMODORE PERRY!WE WILL MAN EACH SHIP WITH PRODUCE FROM OUR OWN SWEAT AND MANLY TESTOSTEROME!
[X] NO GODDAM SEA? SEE THAT SANZU RIVER? IT MAY LOOK LIKE A RIVER BUT IT IS ACTUALLY AN ENDLESS BODY OF WATER THAT WORKD LIKE TARDIS TIMELORD SCIENCE BULL CRAP DRAG OUR GODDAM FINGERS ACROSS THE EDGE AND STRECH THAT BITCH UNTIL WE HAVE SO MUCH ROOM IT'LL FLOOD, THUS CAUSING GENSOKYO TO FLOOD CAUSING AN ENTIRE FUCKING SEA FOR US TO CONQUER AND EXPLORE.

It's late, so first vote wins for now. Rules are I write when I feel like it, highest amount of votes wins when this occurs.

>>132458
There was a void to be filled, a "hole" if you will and everyone knows that a ship with a hole is more like a boat. Underwater.

--------------

You run into the forest and punch the biggest tree you could find in a short time-frame. It falls over with a mighty crash. You could hear a faint scream and a splat as it was coming down but you decide to leave that for now. You pull out your magnificent ASCii cloud drill brofist thing and begin whittling away into the tree. Within' minutes the tree trunk makes for a splendid light galleon, perfect for a commanding officer of your status.

You confront the niggling voice in the back of your head, except in this case it's a small teenaged girl with wings and a retarded brown hat shouting at you. "What the ffffffuck dude." She asks "Why did you crash my nest?" To shut her up you made her your first mate and she was particularly content hereafter. You'll have to do something about that hat though.

[x]Write in

[x]Reply "BITCH THAT FUCKING NEST SUCKED ASS, I'M MOTHERFUCKING COMMODORE PERRY IT WAS SO BAD IT HAD TO GO, BUT DON'T WORRY, I INTEND TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TWICE AS AWESOME"
[X] PROOCEED TO USE THE SURROUNDING FOREST TO BUILD A GIANT FUCKING NAVAL SHIP WHICH OUTSHINES LIKE NO OTHER.
[X] PUNCH THE GROUND WITH YOUR MANLY MIGHT AND FEED THE GROUND WITH SWEAT FROM YOUR MAN BODY THUS, SPEED GROWING THE MANLIEST FUCKING TREE EVER, AND LIFT UP THE NAVAL SHIP WITH YOUR BEAR HANDS AND HURL IT INTO THIS GREAT TREE THUS, CREATING THE ULITIMATE NAVALBASE/NEST/TREE HOUSE WORTHY ENOUGH TO HOLD AN ENTIRE COLONY OF BIRDS AND AIBOURNE ANIMALS ALIKE. SO YOU CAN OBSERVE SUCH ASTOUNDING BEAUTY AND CRY MANLY TEARS.

[x]Reply "BITCH THAT FUCKING NEST SUCKED ASS, I'M MOTHERFUCKING COMMODORE PERRY IT WAS SO BAD IT HAD TO GO, BUT DON'T WORRY, I INTEND TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TWICE AS AWESOME"
[X] PROCEED TO USE THE SURROUNDING FOREST TO BUILD A GIANT FUCKING NAVAL SHIP WHICH OUTSHINES LIKE NO OTHER.
[X] PUNCH THE GROUND WITH YOUR MANLY MIGHT AND FEED THE GROUND WITH SWEAT FROM YOUR MAN BODY THUS, SPEED GROWING THE MANLIEST FUCKING TREE EVER, AND LIFT UP THE NAVAL SHIP WITH YOUR BEAR HANDS AND HURL IT INTO THIS GREAT TREE THUS, CREATING THE ULTIMATE NAVALBASE/NEST/TREE HOUSE WORTHY ENOUGH TO HOLD AN ENTIRE COLONY OF BIRDS AND AIBOURNE ANIMALS ALIKE. SO YOU CAN OBSERVE SUCH ASTOUNDING BEAUTY AND CRY MANLY TEARS.

[X] "I AM HERE TO NEGOTIATE TRADE BETWEEN YOUR FINE NATION AND MY OWN. SUBMIT TO MY DEMANDS OR BE DESTROYED."

>retarded brown hat
>You'll have to do something about that hat though

Fuck. You. Mystia's hat is one of the best touhou hats.

>>132468
I don't think it occurred to you that as we are COMMODORE FUCKING PERRY we are the judge on what is awesome and what is not. so if COMMODORE MOTHERFUCKING PERRY say's it's a retarded brown hat then it's a retarded brown hat unless proven otherwise by higher bodys of awesome that succeed our own, such as Chuck Norris or Kenshiro. Capiche?

Tl dr; We stripped Mystia of her hat rank in the touhouverse.

>>132469
>Norris
>Kenshiro

Any valid point you might have had flew out the fucking window when you revealed your true colors as a /b/tard. This "story" is shit, and the people voting in it need to leave.

>>132470

You look to be new here.
While he is quite off about the Kenshiro and Chuck Norris bits, you still have not been around long enough to witness the achievements and status that COMMODORE PERRY has gained in previous threads. Your posts show that you have failed to lurk the site long enough to know of these events.

For the writer:
[x] Get a jar or glass and add 2 teaspoons of salt.
[x] Fill the glass with 1/3 vinegar and lemon juice.
[x] Fill the rest of the glass with laundry bleach.
[x] Put about 5-7 pennies into the mixture.
[x] Take a straw and blow into the glass.
[x] brbGensokyo

For everyone else:
[x] stop voting

>>132470
>>132472
Click the "Hide Thread" button and pretend this thread never existed. You certainly managed to do that quite well when this story was around before... unless you are indeed new here.

>>132471
>>132473
Well color me chastised. While I was around for this stories beginning, I never read them. I will remedy this and be back shortly.
He is still wrong about the hat.

Mystia's hat is not retarded.

It is awfully shitty though.

[x]That dumb write-in, except without all the caps.

Finished reading all the story so far. I was mostly unimpressed, but I will forever hold a special place in my heart for brocloud.

>>132475
Say that to my face fucker not online and see what happens!

Mystia's hat is a miracle of the universe. Anyone who disagrees is a fag.

Call this in Dammit!

UPDATE NOW NIGGER.

>>132481

Ahh,the classic UPDATE call. How I've missed you so.

----------------

You decide to giver her a stern shouting at, informing her of the poor quality of her nest and promises of great reward from your adventures. "Oh I'm not that annoyed." She sings "My rival was building a nest higher up on that tree and I was only trying to agitate her." She flutters around happily "But now she and her nest is no more!" You take into account this bird's psychopathic tendencies.

You get to work on your masterpiece. You send out all your ASCii letters to cut this forest to the ground in order to build the best fucking ship the world has ever seen. It turns out that 2dimensional letters are sharp, so they make short work of your leafy adversaries. A few hours later a mighty ship, comparable in size to an aircraft carrier (whatever those are) stands before you.All the sweat from building such a thing drips off and mixes with brocould condensate. It drops into the ground and the ground starts to shake. You leap backward and smirk as a truly massive tree arises from the deadland. You pick up the Ship and throw it at the tree, impaling it and making one bitch awesome tree house. Mystia just sits there in awe. You watch as a metric shitload of birds descend on the ship as its new home. A single drop falls from your eye.

There is also the case of your old ship, you simply throw that into the lake should the need arise.

[]Write-in.

[x] Go have a cup of tea with the local shrine maiden.

>>132484
AWESOME.
[X] Tell Mystia "there it is, a masterpice among all men and now your new home. Should the need ever arise, if this monument of airbourne beauty ever come under threat simply call my name".
[X] {Mystia asks our name)
reply with: "COMMODORE.
COMMODORE PERRY."
[X] "I heard you do lamprey, been a while since I had seafood, so i'll go catch us something for you to cook. In the meantime I suggest you call your freinds over and get used to your new home."
[X] PROOCEED TO HEAD OVER TO THE SANZU RIVER AND CATCH THE BIGGEST GODDAM LEVIATHAN AND KRAKEN YOU EVER LAID EYES ON OUR MANLINESS WILL ALLOW US TO SWIM IN SANZUS WEIRD ASS WATER.

and I guess
>>132485 's
vote aould happen automatically as our spectacle of avian preservance is bound to attract attention.

[X] OUR WORK IS DONE, WE MUST AWAY TO THE NEXT ADVENTURE
[X] BOARD THE SHIP UPON THE LAKE AND SET SAIL FOR FANTASTIC TIMES AND ALCOHOL

>>132487
Sail across the lake? Dude, that would be as short as hell.

Now if >>132461's vote prevailed then such a vote would have more promise.

Although alcohol is a good idea...

[X] Tell Mystia "there it is, a masterpice among all men and now your new home. Should the need ever arise, if this monument of airbourne beauty ever come under threat simply call my name".
[X] {Mystia asks our name)
reply with: "COMMODORE.
COMMODORE PERRY."
[X] "I heard you do lamprey, been a while since I had seafood, so i'll go catch us something for you to cook. In the meantime I suggest you call your freinds over and get used to your new home."
[X] PROOCEED TO HEAD OVER TO THE SANZU RIVER AND CATCH THE BIGGEST GODDAM LEVIATHAN AND KRAKEN YOU EVER LAID EYES ON OUR MANLINESS WILL ALLOW US TO SWIM IN SANZUS WEIRD ASS WATER.
Buuouryaaaa!

>>132488
Who said we needed to stop at the other end of the lake?
Just keep on sailing.

Hm,IT'S BEEN A WHILE NIGGER.
CALL IT.
CALL IT.

FULFILL YOUR REPATRIATION!

UPDATE NIGGER!

You turn to Mystia. Telling her that your work has created a home for avians everywhere, and that they may live their as long as they wish. She looks at you with an open mouth (Beak? You never understood how these crazy people work.) "W-what is your name?" She asks. "Matthew C. Perry, although you can call me Commodore..." You turn around dramatically, letting your cloak blow in the wind "Commodore Perry!"

You say that you know that she's the local lamprey chef, this miraculously appears to be true as she nods in agreement. You tell her to gather her friends to the ship tree while you go to catch some fish. You set off to the riverside of the biggest river you could find, which concurrently has many red flowers around it. You dive into the surprisingly deep water. You see a massive fish below so you begin to rev up your ASCii brocloud fist thing.

But what's this? You cannot seem to use the fist underwater! You guess it's something to do with condensate and gases and plot devices and whatnot. The fish is swimming quickly towards you.

[x] Creative write-in shit.

[X] Cultivate and control the winds, compressing the air around you into a solid piece of mass and throw it into the beasts mouth,
[X]Pick up your M1 Garand that was stuck up your anus aim and fire shouting SMILE YOU SON OF BITCH!

[X] Jaws End. craft a net out of your chest hair in most quick haste to reel the scattered bits of fish giblets raining down upon you.

[x]You won't back down to intimidation by a fucking fish of all things. Charge at it.
[x]Dive into its mouth
[x]Explode. I dont care how, just do it.
[x]Craft a net out of your chest hair with haste to catch the scattered bits of fish giblets raining down upon you.

I ain't gonna lost in a game of chicken with a fucking fish.

[X] Cultivate and control the winds, compressing the air around you into a solid piece of mass and throw it into the beasts mouth,
[X]Pick up your M1 Garand that was stuck up your anus aim and fire shouting SMILE YOU SON OF BITCH!

[X] Jaws End. craft a net out of your chest hair in most quick haste to reel the scattered bits of fish giblets raining down upon you.
Reasons

>>132502
Whoops, I forgot to add this in.
[X]Pick up your M1 Garand that was stuck up your anus aim and fire at the compressed air mass now lodged in the beasts mouth shouting SMILE YOU SON OF BITCH!

You attempt to control the air around you, you find that you don't have that ability (not to mention you're under motherfucking water and you wondered where you got the idea from. You decide to throw a nearby air tank at it instead.

The tank gets lodged in its teeth as you see what kind of fish it is, It appears to be a large oarfish, which are kind of like lamprey so you guess that she could probably work with it. You try to take out an M1 Garand out of your ass but all you could find was a M1941 Johnson rifle. you decide to make do as you load it and fire straight at the air tank. "Smile!" You cry as you pull the trigger "You son of a BITCH!" The tank explodes but it wasn't compressed enough for a full explosion, The Oarfish floats onto its back, dead. You pick it up with your free hand and surface from the river.

You look around and acknowledge that the coast is clear. You see the remains of the red head you mercilessly killed upon your arrival to this strange unportopened land.

[]What do?

>>132541
[x]It is now nighttime, and you are likely to be eaten by a grue.
[x]Cut open the oarfishs' stomach, cuddle inside of it, and rest.
[x]Dream a dream of better times. Times of peace, and prosperity.

[X] Using your sheer MANPOWER bind Redheads soul to her place of defeat cursing her to eternally suffer and walk the earth until she has served over a thousand men in unlife.
[X] Go back, to Mystia's, fish in hand.
[X] Slam the door open "HEY HONEY I'M HOME!"
[X] Help Prepare dinner with Mystia.

Bro, somehow the story hasn't been as epic and testosterome filled as your previous updates, they seem... calm... If your gonna update make sure to be drunk or as hyperactive as fuck.

[X] Using your sheer MANPOWER bind Redheads soul to her place of defeat cursing her to eternally suffer and walk the earth until she has served over a thousand men in unlife.
[X] Go back, to Mystia's, fish in hand.
[X] Slam the door open "HEY HONEY I'M HOME!"
[X] Help Prepare dinner with Mystia.
Yeah well my last vote was basically this condensed into two words

You focus your MANPOWER on the soul of the redhead on the spot where you showed her who's boss. The spot glows and a small white puffball of a ghost with twin-tails floats there looking angry, It's such a shitty ghost, you wonder if some guy drew it on the side to his main work, in MS paint.

But fuck that shit, you got shit you gotta do. You punch the earth, crating a shockwave that rebounds off the bedrock and sends you flying through the air, like a shooting star leaping through the skyyyy~ like a tiger defying the laws of gravityyyy~ oh hey speaking of which.

You crash into a strange blonde haired girl with a spear and a strange red/orange dress midflight, Your speed greatly trumps hers so you both crash into the ship with fish in hand.

You land right outside the front door, the tiger person is knocked clean out, so you prop her up beside the door and put a pair of sunglasses on her. "Who's the tiger..." she mumbles in her sleep "I'm the tiger... grrrrreat"

You slam open the door, "Hi honey I'm home!" you shout, hearing a collection of laughter from the birds. Sweet! You got your own laugh track! "Ah just in time too!" Mystia replies "We're having a guest for tonight as well, She says she's a Celestian! Isn't that interesting?" Her sing song voice brings joy to your heart. You take the Oarfish to the kitchen to prepare it.

You take out a knife from the knife block and begin chopping the fish into pieces, this is a new recipe that she's is trying out Mystia tells you and it needs to be little pieces. You get to work post haste.

chop chop chop chop chop chopchopchopchopchopchopChopChopChopChopChopChopCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP O O O OCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP

This chair

You snap out of your chop trance and give the pieces to Mystia. "Wow, I have never seen chopped oarfish look this good before! You're a natural chef you know that? Why don't you go into the dining room? The Celestial should be there." You shout at mystia never to tell you what to do as Commodore Perry is never-ever guided by anyone, ever.

[]Write-in 2 Electric Boogaloo.

[X] Forgot to put a "Kick me" sign on the tiger girl
[X] Go do so
[X] Find, and punch the Celestial for thinking she's better than you.
[X] Enjoy your meal

[X] Forgot to put a "Kick me" sign on the tiger girl
[X] Go do so
[X] Strip her down to undies
[X]Chain tiger girl at the neck to the mast of the ship, if Mike Tyson can have a tiger then we will do better and have a tiger girl make sure to make the metal chains that bind her so that it can only be broken under your order, the chains will also extend so that she is still subdued but at the same time free to wonder around. (it only does this under command aswell)
[X] Find, and punch the Celestial for thinking she's better than you.
[X] Enjoy your meal
[X] Check to see if the tiger girl has awoken.
[X] If Mystia asks say she ate one of the birds.
[X] quickly kill and eat a bird leaving the remains next to her as incriminating evidence.

[x]Dramatic entrance into the Dining Room
[x]Perhaps a musical number.

Lolidunno.

Because I'm tired, First vote wins!

---------------

You go outside to do some... Unfinished business. Namely, putting a kick me sign on the tiger girl from before. You spin her over so she's on all fours with the sign on her back. This should give the right impression to guests that visit.

You go into the dining room and see the Celestial. "Oh look at yo-BAMF" you sock her in the face before she starts acting superior to you and she flies through the wall, stopping in the next room which happens to be your storeroom of spikes, spears and other pointed instruments. "AUUUUUUUUGH!" She crys as she pries herself off of the large red lance currently impaling her. She stumbles back into the room and sits down. A girl with resilience! ALWAYS AN ASSET.

You sit down and make small talk with the now humbled celestial. She says that she's only here because her friend the envoy of the gods decided to go swimming in some river somewhere. You find that tale riveting, Infact, you throw some rivets into her eyes in reaction. Gotta practice for that fight against the OOOOO somehow.

[]What Doest thou do?

-----
Spoilers for those who like fapping to spoilers.

Something good is awaiting you at the Hakurei shrine.

[X]ENGAGE LANDWALKER MODE
[X]MARCH TOWARD HAKUREI SHRINE

This story is so retarded it's actually amusing.

[X]ENGAGE LANDWALKER MODE
[X]MARCH TOWARD HAKUREI SHRINE

[x] Have a delightful chat over an exquisite oarfish dinner.

Fuck meta knowledge.

[x] Have a delightful chat over an exquisite oarfish dinner.

[x] Have a delightful chat over an exquisite oarfish dinner.

Internet es muy dodgy amigo.
-----
You wonder if you should do to the Hakurei shrine. You decide against it due to the fact that you don't fucking know what the fuck that is or where the fuck it is, not to mention if it exists or not.

You sit down at the table facing Tenshi. you begin a staring contest with her, You win because of the fact that she's temporarily blinded by the pits of metal shot in earlier.

Mystia walks in with a hot platter of grilled diced oarfish. "Idakimasu!" She cries as you hit her in the face for being a Weeaboo. You begin messily shoving the delicious food into your mouth. Tenshi tastes a bit of the food "Wow, this is really good!" She exclaims "What kind of fish is it?" "Oh, it's a large oarfish caught by Mr Dreamy over there. It was caught in the Sanzu river" Oh shit nigga, Mystia is totally crushing on you. You make a note to respond in kind.

Tenshi however, is a bit still and pale after receiving this information. "...O-Oarfish?" she mumbles "From... from the Sanzu river?" Mystia nods. "Then what I'm eating... is EEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEKUUUUUUU!!" You wonder why she's so tomtoppled over a little fish. "EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE!!
THE HAKUREI SHINE MAIDEN WILL HEAR OF THIS! YOU'LL BE SORRY!" She vomits and explodes out of the ship in a direction down the road. Oh hey there's that e you were looking for. That's convenient.

[x]Resist the power of the voters and do something (write in)

Mystia route?

excellent.

I mean we could got for better, but how many story's have we had where MC has had someone crush on him but then he just goes off with someone else?

Too dam many.

although we shouldn't make her fantasies come true right away, we should make her earn it.

[X] "Mystia be a good girl and clean up this mess, i have business to attend to."
[X]Head over to Youkai mountain

We should pay no heed to the celestial as a doubt Reimu would give two shits about her problems, unless Tenshi offered to the shrine.

By the end of this I expect MC to have done the following:

Pierced and conquered the heavens (Via tricking Tenshi into letting us in)
Settled down with Mystia
made a MT Rushmore out of Youkai mountain with the manliest figures ever engraved into the rock.
Expand Mystias bird kingdom by beating Lord Tenma in EPIC MANLY COMBAT and teach Aya how to make a REAL FUCKING NEWSPAPER.
Kick Kanako of the mountain whilst she is crucified, and turn the shrine into a Holy temple of MANLINESS.

Reimu of course, will not give a dam as she hates all the people we are about to step on.

so heading over to Youkai mountain will mean we are aiming for Lord Tenma and the PAPARAZZI WHORE.

Pic related ITS TENMA.

>>132853

Tenma's pretty high level, and even though we are COMMODORE MOTHERFUCKING PERRY, I expect Tenma to be more than a match for us at the moment. We need to get more of the OOOOO, and then we should be able to take on the greater inhabitants of Gensokyo. Including that dragon god. Not like he's of any use anymore with us around.

>>132853

Nah, if anything we should be matched at even levels of MANLY the fight would probably go like Kenshiro vs Han
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZM6cYpgDCE&feature=related

Evenly matched but only one would come out top.

that and I want that never ending throwing paradox to happen.

Sup Bro&!KTiM/L43HQ

GET
THE
FUCK
BACK
TO
WORK
YOU
FILTHY
PROCRASTINATING
NIGGER.
http://vocaroo.com/?media=vCakpuJL1OaCcPFBp

>>134012
>Vocaroo
Is this what we have come to? Our future is bleak if this is a herald of new days.

>>134012
I hope that's not you...

WHERE ARE YOU? MY KINDRED AND SAVIOUR?

>>138958
Goddammit Random Anon, stop bumping these stories. Take it easy for once. Also, lay off the fucking all caps.