Onanimaster !0YAREyare6 2014/12/25 (Thu) 02:31 No. 183780 ▼ File 141947466024.jpg - (76.63KB, 560x560 , 120843099131.jpg)
[X] Yukari
Today's the day. Christmas. It's your last shot, and you've pulled out all the stops to help make this work. You're out to impress one of Gensokyo's finest, after all, and she's already accepted your asking her out today. Thankfully, Chen and Ran both happily approve of you, and they've helped you set up a date that Yukari should be happy with. Now that you're ready, you go pick her up.
Unfortunately, Yukari's place is home to a crowd of people you're not happy to see, and they've apparently all gathered to tell Yukari what a terrible idea it is to date you. As you try to push through them to get inside, you can see Yukari standing in the hallway, being subjected to their advice.
Some dumb looking fairy tells her that you terrorised a bunch of her friends, but since nobody knew who she was, she was largely ignored.
Kotohime tells her that you have no respect for the law.
The five magic stones glimmer angrily.
Gengetsu complains that you left her with blue ovaries.
Rin was about to say something, but was cut off by the giant catfish flopping over onto her.
Cirno complains that you're dead and this is breaking continuity.
Mima isn't here, thankfully.
Alice calls you a thief and says you framed an innocent little girl who she beat up.
Satori insists that you hate animals.
Kana whines about you leaving her homeless, while Kasen opts to punch her in the face as payback.
Reimu makes fun of you for being poor, and claims you owe her money.
Rumia says Alice beat her up but apparently it was your fault.
Shinki still has no idea who you are, but Yumemi seems to believe that you're a male prostitute.
Luize mocks you for being gullible.
Letty says you look just like this frozen specimen she found a while ago.
Ellen seems to have wandered over here, but doesn't know what's going on anyway.
The man on the moon seems to be smirking down at you.
Kogasa insists that you're a wife-basher, while Tenshi complains that you're actually not.
You don't know what Youmoo is doing here, but she moos loudly.
At this point you're finally able to break through the crowd and get to Yukari, who seems more amused than bothered. Before you can come up with an explanation, a commotion in the crowd draws your eye. Why, it's none other than Getsu Fuma! He cuts his way through these vile women, and explains that he's come to repay his debt to you. He tells you to go while he holds them off. You thank Fuma for his aid, and escape out the back door with Yukari.
Before you can explain to Yukari why a bunch of crazy women have come to warn her off of you, she tells you with a bewitching smile that she's never seen a single man cause such a ruckus in Gensokyo, so you must have something special in store for her. Rather than ruin the moment, you assure her that you do, and the two of you go off on your date together.
One night of passionate taiko and aged sake later, Yukari lets you know that she hasn't been this entertained in decades, and neither of you are about to let the night end there. Yukari invites you in, and a few minutes later you're in bed together, passionately kissing. Yukari pulls down her robes, revealing her flower garden to you, and you hastily jam your fertiliser inside.
At that moment, you feel the painful sensation of a penis jamming its way into your anus. Before you can even understand what's happening, the door slams open, and the star reporter Aya Shameimaru busts in, snapping a dozen photos of you in a compromising condition. Following this, Getsu Fuma waltzes in, and as you realise Yukari put a gap over her vagina just as you were about to stick it in, Fuma and Yukari put their faces together and exclaim that you got fuckin' punked, son. The entire thing was a setup, and Yukari is thoroughly entertained with how well it was pulled off. As you struggle to remove your member from your aching anus, Yukari and Fuma begin passionately having sex with each other right in front of you.
Confused and hurt, you make your way home. Youmoo seems to have run off on you, so as you struggle to keep your composer, you pour yourself a hefty helping of alcohol, and speak your mind.
"Honey, why do all these terrible things keep happening to me?" You ask your wife, who is sitting across the room.
Hina sighs, and answers your foolish question. "Don't let it get you down, dear. It's just bad luck."