[x] Fap

[x] Wonder who the fuck that is in the OP image.

You grab your dick and begin masturbating.

Twenty seconds later, A stream of cum flies to the top of your pajama pants. You didn't take them off.

Damn, You're getting better at this.

[]

[x] Fap again

[x] Tear your heart out.

[ ] Alright, stand up.

[x] Sing whilst fapping.

[X] Wear your fancy hat, you are the motherfucking Commodore Perry.

[X] Wear your fancy hat, you are the motherfucking Commodore Perry.

[X] Wear your fancy hat, you are the motherfucking Commodore Perry.
Oh god, i lol'd.

[X] Wear your fancy hat, you are the motherfucking Commodore Perry.
[X]Break dance out of bed while singing and fapping

First to three now. No questions.
.....................

You take out your naval hat from within your trunk at the end of the bed. The beds are hard in the naval force of the motherfucking US.

Hard like your soul.

This hat of yours has served you for many a battle. From the USS President to the present times.

You put the hat on your head. You feel like a badass navy captain.

[]

[x] What are you waiting for?! Get on the bus! ON THE BUS!

[ ] Find some crew.

[x] Start opening things.

[x] Start opening things.

GOKU-SAN HAS COME FOR NICE DAY!

[x] What are you waiting for?! Get on the bus! ON THE BUS!

[X] OPEN THE BUS

[x] Despair.
[x] Get your Dragon Radar.

[x] Start opening things.

Yes.

Why of course!

You shake yourself off. This is no time for lollygagging about! You have a task to do!

For the sake of peace you must obtain the OOOOO to protect the world from Toxic rays! You open your trunk and take out your trusty phaser and go out to find the OOOOO!

You climb out of the hatch and you come out in a strange room, filled with medical supplies and books. Surely the OOOOO is in here!

You open open everything in sight. Vials, the books, the dress of the woman infront of you.

"W-w-why are you opening everything!" Said the nurse. Why? You're just obtaining the OOOOO to defeat the aliens! Toxic rays have opened everything in the room! it wasn't you!

But wait... Yes! The sound of the OOOOO beckons to you! You must find it to defeat the toxic rays!

[]

Answering time.

>[x] Wonder who the fuck that is in the OP image.

That my good man is Theobold Wolfe tone. Legendary Irish revolutionary.

[X] Order OOOOO! Pay with snakes!

[X] Fight the toxic rays with your bare hands.

[x] Molest the nurse.

[X] Order OOOOO! Pay with snakes!

[x] "NO! I must kill the Aliens"

[X] Fight the toxic rays with your bare hands.

We fight crime.

>>76947
That episode in ZSZS was so fucking cash

[X] Fight the toxic rays with your bare hands.

It must be done.

[X] Opoen the nurse's legs and search between them for the toxic rays!

Best random CYOA ever... in America!

"Hey! Where do you think you're going!"

But you have no time to turn back. You dash out the door (Previously opened by yourself mind.) and down the hallway towards the source of the toxic rays. On the way, you stop by a room covered in chains.

A girl stops beside you. You calmly ask her what is in there. She seems to be wearing two fake looking ears and a black blazer and skirt combo.

"That's Kaguya-sama's room boom" She casually remarks.

A shorter girl beside her pipes up.

"It doesn't look like Reisen-sama has intention of stopping him saurus."

You smirk. This is the sort of room that is meant to store the OOOOO! You must break in!

You pull at the door sharply, sending iron chains flying everywhere.

"Ah he opened it!" Says a voice from behind.
"Dayo~n!" Says the girl infront of you.

You grin.

The lights go off. when they come back on you're opening the girls' forelocks.

A ! Comes from everyone in the room, The girl starts crying.

There weren't any OOOOO here.

"Ramen Ramen Rabbit Bunny Ramen Ramen..."

"Kaguya-sama is spouting nonsense!"

Hold on... Why do you need the OOOOO in the first place! You have defeated many aliens in the past! One is small fry!

You rip off your pajama top. The toxic rays? Hah! You'll fight them off with your bare hands!

You turn around. There is a toxic ray passing by. You grab it by the collar and break it in half. Out the window it goes.

You are motherfucking commodore Perry.

Physics don't apply to you concerning poisonous light formations.

You set off in search for more rays. The short girl from earlier is beckoning to you.

[]

[X] Forehead Crusher

[X] Forehead Crusher

FUCK YOU

I'M COMMODORE PERRY

[X] Forehead Crusher

[X] Forehead Crusher

You grab the rabbit girl by the scruff of her dress up to your face. She is looking terrified.

"What is your name girl!?!"
"T-Tewi!"
"Well Tewi! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"
"n-n-n"
"ANSWER ME DAMMIT!"
"No..."
"Well then Tewi. Do you want to know who I am?"
"..."
"SAY YES BEFORE I FEED YOU TO THE DOGS"
"Y-yes!"
"I AM MOTHERFUCKING ASSMASTERING PORTOPENING COMMODORE PERRY!"

And with that, You smash the head of the girl with your own. A crack, A shatter, And a GIANT FUCKING SHOWER OF BLOOD AND BRAIN FLIES EVERYWHERE.

A rabbit passes you by. It looks French. After seeing the sight you have become, it rushes down the hallway screaming.

[]

[x] Commodore Perry's Flying Scissor Kick

[X] Declare war on France. Burn place to the ground.

[x] Commodore Perry's Flying Scissor Kick

[x] Commodore Perry's Flying Scissor Kick

[x] Commodore Perry's Flying Scissor Kick
Oh wow, i'm laughing so hard at the whole commodore Perry thing. Genius.

>>77335
>It looks French
I lol'd IRL. That was unexpected.

>>Commodore Perry's Flying Scissor Kick

This should be the name of an American sketch comedy troupe.

"Le eeek!" Cries the little girl in a distinct French....

The French.

You always hated the French. Bastards, The lot of them. You feel rage building up inside you as you run after her. This is what it's about. Not the aliens, the toxic rays, not even the OOOOO! This is what you need. You crave. you need to...

"KILL THESE FROG-SMOKING, CHEESE-WIELDING, SLUG-GUZZLING BASTARDY BASTARDS!"


By the time you finish speaking your thoughts, you're in the air. Your foot strikes the girl in the face.

BAD TIME TO TURN AROUND FRENCHY

She is sent flying by the pure rage contained in your foot and crashes into a nearby cupboard with a plus sign on the door. A mixture of chemicals spill out, making sparks and other flashes of light.

"Watch out! It's gonna blow!" Says another girl with rabbit ears. It looks like she's right.

[]

[X] Bunny Toboggan! Ride the explosion!

[X] Bunny Toboggan! Ride the explosion!

This is better.

[X] Bunny Toboggan! Ride the explosion!

Oh shit. This place is going to blow harder than a whore with a set of long balloons. And shit those things are hard to blow, goddamn.

But hold on. You still have a chance.

You grab a nearby girl and rush towards the cupboard like a US Navy captain on speed in Hawaii.

You jump and put the girl underneath you. And without warning you're suddenly half a mile above the building as the chemicals explode. The girl is burning and crying.

When you reach the apex of your jump you stop, Floating in midair near some clouds. A face appears in the clouds and speaks.

"Whoa Man, That was fucking sweet. ten out of ten across the board. BROFIST!" It says, holding a fist out to you.

[]

[X] BROFIST

[x] Open the fist.
[x] "Tee hee."

[x]
...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

[x]
...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

[x] Open the fist.

HOW DARE YOU PRESENT SOMETHING THAT'S CLOSED TO THE GODDAMN COMMODORE PERRY

[x]
...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

[X] Then open the fist!

[✓]
...........
...................__
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(

The cloud holds his fist out to you. You're about to Brofist when you stop yourself.

There is so much more you could do to this completely awesome and brolike cloud than merely brofist it!

You scan through your mind like Bill Nye that has swallowed a photocopier. But then it comes to you. You look at the fist of pure cloud and begin visualizing.

"Come on bro. Don't leave me hanging" It complains. The fool doesn't know what it is going to GET

You hold out your hand and a stream of characters fly out. Making a jumbled mess. You focus and clench your hand tightly and the mess quickly forms into a fist.

The cloud floats there in shock. But now isn't the time for shock. Now is the time for...

"FUCKING AWESOME COMMODORE PERRY ASCII BROFIST!"

With that cry. You kick off the girl board and Brofist as if it were painted upon the ceiling of the Sistine chapel. Light explodes in a stream of letters, Broness, and a good bit of kicking reason to the curb.

A manly tear rolls down the clouds eye.

"Well done my son...."

The force of the fist sends you in an indeterminate direction.

On your way down, a cloud spells out: "Gary was here. Ash Ketchum sucks.

[]
___________________
Ability unlocked!

ASCII manipulation: Use ASCII to deal major damage to your foes!

Scenario unlocked!

??????:????"

Note. Attempt to wrap this up by the end of the thread.
Note. Scenario will be used as a separate story.

[x] Make a crater in the Earth with your awsomeness.
[x] Scream "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

[x] Make a crater in the Earth with your awsomeness.
[x] Conjure guitar.
[x] Incomprehensibly awesome solo.

[x] RAGE GAUGE: 255/255
[x] OPEN UP THE ENTIRE WORLD

[x] Realize you had the OOOOO all along.

[x] Make a crater in the Earth with your awesomeness.
[x] Conjure guitar.
[x] Incomprehensibly awesome solo.
[x] OPEN UP THE ENTIRE WORLD

[x] Make a crater in the Earth with your awsomeness.
[x] Scream "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

[X] Make a crater in the Earth with your awesomeness.
[X] Burrow to the center of the planet and hibernate for several million years.
[X] ????"
[X] RAIN DESTRUCTION FROM THE HEAVENS

[x] Make a crater in the Earth with your awesomeness.
[x] Conjure guitar.
[x] Incomprehensibly awesome solo.

You look down as the wind rushes past your face. This sort of situation calls for something AWSOME!

Wait hold on... Your ASCII powers seem to detect something wrong.

YOU ARE MISSING AN e ON THAT AWESOME.

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

You resolve to locate the e when you land.

You fall down with incredible speed. Rushing faster and faster as you hold out your fist to strike the ground. With an explosion of pure Dudeitude you smash the ground. A large crater forms around you. But there is something wrong.

The ground you just smashed in was the surface of the water. Ah water... your best friend... Everything looks clean. It reminds you of your Spanish maid. She always liked to make the place Spic and span.

You decide to not dilly-dally around in your head for the time being. The water will be rushing in soon.

[]

You are a fucking commodore, no?
ASCII YOURSELF A GODDAMN FLEET.

[X] Attempt to ford the fucking river

[X] Attempt to ford the river.

The motherfucking Commodore Perry does not need to "attempt".

[x] Ford the river

[x] Ford the river

You ford the river. It is too deep. You lose:

One Air-surf rabbit.
10 oxen.

Those Oxen had it coming.

You shake your hat out to dry. That river is motherfucking treacherous. You hope you don't hit another one on your way to Oregon.

You turn around. There is a tall woman with red hair looking down upon you. She has a large bust and a larger scythe.

"Who are you?" she asks. "You must be pretty strong to ford across the Higan river."

You open your mouth to answer but a rain drop falls into it. It tastes like a tear of a manly cloud.

[]
___________

Note. As of this Saturday, I will be leaving for 3 weeks for Australia. This might not effect updates but the chances are high that it will.

>>77799

[x] "I'M THE GODDAMN COMMODORE PERRY!"

[x] "I'M THE GODDAMN COMMODORE PERRY, BITCH! SURRENDER YOURSELF TO ME!"

>You open your mouth to answer but a rain drop falls into it. It tastes like a tear of a manly cloud.

Superb.

[x] Drink of the manly tears of the Sky Father, so that you may weep your own for what is lost and what you will come to lose.

[x] "Are you dense? Are you retarded? Who the hell do you think I am?"
[x] "I'm the goddamn Commodore Perry."

[x] "I'M THE GODDAMN COMMODORE PERRY, BITCH! SURRENDER YOURSELF TO ME!"

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

This.

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

Way better than random profanities.

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

bisonyes.gif

[X] Open the port of her bosom to international trade.

Ah this looks like a nice woman. And a ferry woman too. Just the sort of woman you wouldn't rape viciously but rather love her tenderly. You look up at her ches...

HER CHEST

Those bosoms! The shape of them makes the gap in between look just like a port! How splendid, This woman is clearly a fine examp...

HER PORT IS CLOSED.

Oh my God. Her chest is completely covered! this is unacceptable. A port such as that should certainly be opened! You know many traders that would like to get at those resources.

"Hello?"

You spring up and grab her clothes and begin to rip it off. It's on tight as it is hard to get a good handling. Infact, you're grabbing at thin air.

The woman is now 50 metres away from you now. She shouts.

"YOU PERVERTED HUMAN! I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET SENT STRAIGHT TO HELL!"

She swings her scythe. You notice nothing different, only that you have a sharp pain in your hand. A quick inspection reveals that it is currently on the ground and detatched from your body. You grab it in pain.

"Hah! Not so tough now are you!" She laughs.

You create some ASCII empty boxes to cover the wound and stop the bleeding.

A bottle lands at your feet. It says Port on it.

You look up. The BroCloud is staring angrily at the laughing woman. You feel like you can pull off a Combination attack.

[]
-----------

I said first to three. But the majority wins this time.

[X] Perry-Brocloud's fucking devine port opener!

>>77891

[x] Pull off a combination attack. A combination attack filled with the fury of a Bro.

[X] "The port of your bosom is closed! Open it at once, or we shall open it for you!" (Or something to that effect)
[x] Pull off a combination attack if she refuses. A combination attack filled with the fury of a Bro.

OR

[X] Make sweet love to her!

[X] GIGA PORT OPENEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

[x] Pull off a combination attack. A combination attack filled with the fury of a Bro.

[x] Perry-Brocloud's fucking devine port opener!

[X] "The port of your bosom is closed! Open it at once, or we shall open it for you!" (Or something to that effect)
[x] Pull off a combination attack if she refuses. A combination attack filled with the fury of a Bro.

[x] Combine with BroCloud
[x] Replace your hand with...
[x] GIGA DRILL BREAKER

[x] Combine with BroCloud
[x] Replace your hand with...
[x] GIGA DRILL BREAKER

[X] "The port of your bosom is closed! Open it at once, or we shall open it for you!"
[x] Pull off a combination attack if she refuses. A combination attack filled with the fury of a Bro.

[x] Combine with BroCloud
[x] Replace your hand with...
[x] GIGA DRILL BREAKER

BROCLOUD DIES IN EPISODE 8

>>77978

And manly tears shall be shed.
But not now.

*Now*, we do the only thing that could make the motherfucking Commodore more awesome than he already is: GET A DRILL HAND

You grab the bottle with port in it. It's time for revenge. She took your hand with which you masturbated so masterfully. Yeah, She's gonna pay.

You use ASCII to shoot the top of the battle off. You bring it to your mouth. It tastes of fine port mixed with condensed manliness.

You smash the bottle as you finish it. She thinks she can mess around. Mess around with motherfucking Commodore Perry of the Goddamn US navy. Well you've got news for her. When you mess around with Perry you get the mess!

You look up. The cloud's eyes are shining like the motherfucking north star. A part of it spins around and flies towards you. You grab it with your good hand and encase it in ASCII, which you fuse with your makeshift bandage. The vapor spins around and forms itself into a drill.

"Eh, What?" The girl says. Looking incredibly confused at the scene.

You make another ASCII box and the cloud packs itself in. You shrink the box to its maximum pressure and hold it just outside your ass.

You hold up your drill arm.

"THIS IS WHAT BEING A COMMODORE IS ALL ABOUT! I SHALL OPEN YOUR PORT!" You scream.

"Eh?" The woman just looks confused at the scene. But it's too late for her now.

You jump up and disperse your ASCII box and are sent flying towards the woman.

"BROMEGA GIGA PORT OPENER!" You and the cloud scream in unison as the drill spins and flies, along with yourself.

You collide with the womans gargantuan breastal area. The fabric rips, and the two melons fall out. You continue opening. opening her chest cavity, her heart, her spin and out of here

The drill eventually comes to a stop. you turn around. There is very little that is intact about the woman. Her port has been truly opened.

You look at the cloud. It looks at you and closes it's eyes. A tear of blood rolls down its face as it disintegrates. A manly tear runs down your face. You wish you could have known it more. It died fighting the aliens.

It did however leave behind another bottle of port and the drill arm is still there. You turn around and walk on.

[]
_______
Skill obtained: DRILL HAND. Do I even need to explain?



Inventory:
One drill hand.
One bottle of Cloud-port.
ASCII Powers -1 e
Commodore outfit.
Commodore Hat.

Damn this is confusing.

>You collide with the womans gargantuan breastal area. The fabric rips, and the two melons fall out. You continue opening. opening her chest cavity, her heart

Well damn.
We just killed Machi-Machi by being MANLY.

[X] Open a port to home.
IT'S TIME TO REPORT OUR SUCCESS TO THE PRESIDENT

[X] Leave an eternal memento of your epic unision, an ascii drawing of the brocloud with a giant majestic writing:
ALL GLORY TO THE COMMODORE!

Voting for this write in

I must wait for the next drill target.

I'm going to laugh if by the end of this, we wake up from our insanity and find out we trashed Gensokyo and pissed off its inhabitants. That's where the real CYOA will begin. Oh lord.

[X] There are still more ports that must be opened! Use your OOOOO Radar for great success!

[X] There are still more ports that must be opened! Use your OOOOO Radar for great success!

Holy shit, Bro&. This is ten kinds of awesome plus two.

[X] Leave an eternal memento of your epic unision, an ascii drawing of the brocloud with a giant majestic writing:
ALL GLORY TO THE COMMODORE!
[X] There are still more ports that must be opened! Use your OOOOO Radar for great success!

>>78063

That would be awesome!

Updates?

Wake up.
Rape the mikos.

[X] Leave an eternal memento of your epic unision, an ascii drawing of the brocloud with a giant majestic writing:
ALL GLORY TO THE COMMODORE!
[X] There are still more ports that must be opened! Use your OOOOO Radar for great success!

Full speed towards the motherfucking future!
(HEROIC END #3)

You realize that, through the force, the unison, the uncontrollable rage you expressed with that cloud, that you should give it a proper burial.

You take your non-awesome hand and conjure up an ASCII plate. You attempt to break it in your hand but it holds. It's tough and not easy to break.

You throw the plate against the ground where the cloud fell. It sticks there and doesn't move. You use ASCII to engrave the plate with a picture of the cloud of manliness. Underneath you engrave:

"LET ALL THE LAND KNOW. THIS IS THE RESTING PLACE OF THE MANLINEST CLOUD EVER TO HAVE BEEN ACCUMULATED. ALL GLORY TO THE COMMODORE!"

You step away from the plate as a slow tear flows down your cheek.

You throw your coat over your shoulder and turn around to leave. You're done here.

You reach into your pocket for your OOOOO detector only to touch nothing but air and lint. You must have left it in your other pants pocket, back on your fleet.

A tinkle comes from your feet. There is a small brass coin on the ground. You pick it up. Of course! This is a small piece of the OOOOO! You pocket it for great justice against the aliens.

There is a small rowboat on the docks. You clamber upon it and kick off the shore. You summon an ASCII oar and begin rowing away into the sunset and down river. As you leave behind the scene you stand on the stern and cry out:

I AM COMMODORE PERRY! I SHALL NEVER END MY QUEST IN SEARCH FOR THE OOOOO! WITH MY THREE WEAPONS. A DRILL, SOME PORT AND MY DRILL ARM! AND MY ALMOST FANATICAL DEVOTION TO OPENING THINGS! MY FOUR WEAPONS! I SHALL OPEN ALL PORTS IN THE WORLD! LET THE WORLD KNOW!"

_______________

Well that was fun.

I shall continue this story at a later date, as I am currently holidaying in Australia. By later date, expect a few weeks.

>>78063

>Wake up from insanity

No.

>Real CYOA

This is a real CYOA, Only early site style according to HY.

>>78948
I meant that it's a bit too crazy.

>I SHALL OPEN ALL PORTS IN THE WORLD! LET THE WORLD KNOW!

Doing Shit in Gensokyo Part 2: The Perry-secution of Madagascar.

>>78977
>Madagascar
MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR