Thread 1:
>>123033 Thread 2:
>>124226 Thread 3:
>>124917 Thread 4:
>>125518 Thread 5:
>>126187 Thread 6:
>>126955 Thread 7:
>>127594 Thread 8:
>>128755 Thread 9:
>>129398 Thread 10
>>130134 In which a mind is
shattered. [X]AGGROEAT!
“No,” you say firmly. “I’m hungry. And it sounds like people are trying to murder
each other today, instead of
me. That’s a beautiful thing. Let’s not spoil that.”
Cirno pouts, crossing her arms and glaring up at you. “I thought you were a big hero.”
“
Everyone’s big to you,” you quip, and dodge a swift kick aimed at your shins.
“Somebody’s getting
murderized and you’re just going to eat
breakfast!?”
You search for a more diplomatic phrasing, surrendering after a few seconds with a shrug. “Yup.”
Cirno stomps her foot crossly, and after a second of contemplation, stomps on
your foot with surprising strength. She advances on you, eyes blazing, forcing you to retreat at a brisk hop.
“What the hell-!”
“You should go
help!” Cirno informs you brusquely. “That’s Patchy’s library down there, she’s probably getting, like,
explodicated!”
You glance at Keine imploringly.
“She’s probably being ambuscaded, too,” Keine adds, smiling sweetly at you.
“
Traitor,” you hiss at Keine.
“See!?” Cirno insists. Another muted
whBOOMF! punctuates her statement. “We gotta
go! “...
fine,” you mutter. “FINE. Dying hurts less on an empty stomach anyways.” You jam your hands into your pockets glumly and stomp down the corridor towards the dining room.
“But aren’t we gonna
loooook-” moans Cirno.
“Look where!?” you point out. “I’ll go ask Remilia. I’m not going to wander around randomly opening doors.”
“Why not?” Cirno asks.
You stop suddenly and whirl about, glaring down at Cirno dramatically. “Because some of them have
leopards behind them,” you intone quietly. Cirno’s eyes widen, and she goes quiet. You resume your trek.
As you near the dining room, Sakuya appears from the side corridor leading to the kitchen, carrying a heavily-laden tray. Cirno springs ahead of you, shouting: “Saku~ya! Who’s fighting!" Where!?”
Sakuya heaves the sigh of the long-suffering. “Probably just Marisa and Patchouli going at it again. Half the time they talk, half the time they fight. Miss Knowledge is probably upset over the books you returned.”
“I’ll bet,” you say, adroitly plucking the tray right out of Sakuya’s hands as you pass her. “Thanks. See you in a few.”
“What.” Sakuya says flatly. “Wait. WAIT!”
“Duty calls~” you singsong casually, balancing the tray on one hand to make the gestures to
Unseen Servant with the other. “Hold this,” you instruct, passing the tray to your invisible attendant. Looking it over, you select the teapot and another one of those queer little china cups.
Sakuya appears a little ways in front of you, looking properly pissed off. “What, exactly, do you think you are doing?” she demands.
“Having breakfast,” you say casually, pouring the contents of the pot into the little cup carefully as you stride on by her. She instantly appears a little ways ahead of you again.
“Return my tray at
once. The mistress is expecting her breakfast, which you have
already delayed quite long enough.”
“That’s nice,” you say dismissively, striding right past Sakuya again. Sipping at the cup, you grimace. “More goddamn
tea!? Isn’t there any coffee in this place?”
“I
said- coffee?” the head maid says as she appears ahead of you again, this time with her arms crossed.
You halt so suddenly that Keine nearly crashes into you. You turn and stare at the maid, teacup forgotten.
“You don’t know... what coffee is...?”
“No. I don’t know this ‘coffee’,” Sakuya says flatly.
The teacup quivers in your hand as the full, terrible truth of Gensokyo hits you like an airdropped Tarrasque. “You mean you... don’t have any... any...”
“Well, I’ve
heard of it, now that I think about it,” Sakuya says thoughtfully, her brusque demeanor slipping a bit. “But I can’t remember ever seeing it in the market... why, do you need it?”
“Need?” you stutter faintly, the teacup in your hand sloshing quite badly now. “
Need!?” The edge of hysteria in your voice induces Sakuya to retreat a step. “If you think I’m insane
now...”
Sakuya stares at you for a moment, then blinks, shaking her head a bit. “No matter,” she states with finality, brushing aside the coffee, the tray theft, and (you feel,) the whole bewildering issue she’s filed under ‘ZUUL.’ “The Mistress is expecting you for breakfast,” she continues, fixing you with her cool blue eyes, “so you will come with me.”
“Just as soon as-”
“
Now.” The piercing coldness of her tone shoots down your spine.
The teacup stops sloshing.
“The last person who said that to me caught me
after I’d had my morning coffee,” you say , your voice flat and hard. “But you? You’re shit out of luck.”
Sakuya’s fingertips twitch, but she just continues the staring match with you. She didn’t mistake the steel in your voice for a bluff.
Your intense staredown is abruptly terminated by another
whBOOMF, except this one is neither muted nor distant, its incredible report bashing in your eardrums with pachydermic impetus. You and Sakuya both whirl about in time to see two vaguely frilly motion blurs blasting down the hallway towards you. The head maid thoughtfully tackles you to the ground as they thunder by overhead. As your face meets hardwood, you hear a confused tangle of screams and impacts sounding further down the hallway.
“That’s not Marisa,” Sakuya says professionally from somewhere atop you.
“Fuck
you,” you say with real emotion, struggling to rise. Sakuya keeps you pinned firmly to the floor.
“Let me help you up,” you hear Keine say roughly, and Sakuya’s slender weight is abruptly lifted from your back. You struggle to your knees, plucking a bagel off the hovering tray as you do so. Cirno is clutching Keine’s dress, hiding behind her legs, and Sakuya is giving the schoolteacher a cool look from just out of arms reach.
“You okay?” Keine asks you.
“Yufff,” you confirm through a mouthful of bagel.
“Alright, then.” She steps forward, places a hand on your shoulder, and turns you to look down the hall. “What do you make of
that?”
A ways down the hall you witness a proper imbroglio of lace and legs thrashing about on the floor. Eventually you make out Flandre in the tangle, wrestling with a girl whose face seems buried somewhere in a tan bin of some sort. As you watch, the bin gets knocked off bodily by a wild swing from Flan.
“Should we...” Keine ventures.
You hear Sakuya sigh. “Not with Flandre. It’d just start a nasty fight. Just wait for them to settle down, and we can talk.”
You nod your mute assent as you continue to munch on your bagel. It’s warm, moist, and altogether heavenly.
Eventually the tangle resolves itself as the owner of the head-bin frees herself momentarily and plasters herself to the wall. Flandre advances on her menacingly, hands making little eager grabbing motions in the air.
“F-Flandre, come on now,” the girl says. “W-w-we can play later, okay?”
“I’m bored
now,,” Flandre says, her voice dripping resentment. “We play
now.”
Something in the vampire’s demeanor doesn’t strike you as particularly playful. You glance sideways at Keine, who is looking rather worried. Craning your neck a little more, you try to catch Sakuya’s eye. To your alarm, she actually looks...
apprehensive? You swallow your current bite of bagel. “All together, okay?”
Sakuya and Keine both nod. The maid takes a step forward and opens her mouth, but you cut her off. “HEY! FLAN-FLAN!”
“Shove off,” she snarls, still advancing on the blonde girl, who’s inching sideways along the wall.
“Hey! Flan!”
“
Fuck off!”
“Hey, Flan!”
She ignores you completely and springs suddenly at the blonde, who dives out of the way just in time.
You grit your teeth, squeezing your bagel slightly in your free hand as you storm down the hallway towards the two, Keine and Sakuya at your heels. Sucking in a lungful of air, you prepare to state your case for the cessation of hostilities.
“FLANDRE, PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR I’LL RAM A FUCKING DRAGON UP YOUR ASS AND A THOUSAND PLATINUM PEICES DOWN YOUR THROAT!”
You hear Sakuya gasp.
The diminutive vampire abruptly ceases her pursuit. She turns slowly to look at you. “
What did you say to me?” You’re not sure how much of the astonishment comes from actually being threatened, or trying to
decipher the threat.
[ ] Answer her question. It’s best to remove ourselves from the “toy” category right now. Permanently.
[ ] Hooray, she’s paying attention~ Now if she’d just introduce
all four of us to her new friend, we can all skedaddle on to breakfast.
[ ] Frown. Pout. “Fine. Play with
her if you must. Don’t let me interrupt!”