Continuation of >>17514.

Going by what's observable, I'd say the main thing about Nemuno personality-wise is that she values her solitude but doesn't necessarily shun people. She is, as mountain hags are described in her profile, fiercely independent, yet she is reasonably friendly and open towards those who can prove a degree of strength. She takes in whatever of the world comes to her and doesn't seem all that interested otherwise, content in her ignorance of the world outside her bubble. In that sense, she strikes me as someone who probably values action over conversation; she'll entertain a degree of small-talk but probably will get annoyed after a while, especially when it comes to topics outside her realm of concern. Perhaps she might have opinions on things that extend beyond the surface-level, but I wonder if she'd be able to articulate them. She'd probably consider it your problem if you can't understand what she means and leave it at that.

When it comes to anyone weaker than her, I don't think she's apt to show more than a certain measure of mercy. She'll try overwhelming force to scare others off first, and then I'd wager all bets are off. Even assuming she doesn't go all the way out of her way to kill intruders, in the case of something like someone lost and in danger, I think she'd be fairly clear that any shelter offered is a very temporary thing and be quick to eject them from her territory — and perhaps not necessarily to safety. Of course, I suppose it's possible that she might be open to anyone who can demonstrate themselves likeable on some level. That does beg the question, though: Is she apt to let you go if she likes you enough? The idea of a clingy mountain hag is a little terrifying.

In terms of character relationships, it's hard to say there'd be many. At the very least, we know Nemuno can be friendly towards people like Reimu, Marisa, Aya, and Cirno. I can't see Aya having much occasion to bother Nemuno, but if she did, then I guess she might be welcomed to an extent. Biten was also obliquely

I think pretty much every basic thing about Nemuno has been said; she's primitive and there's little information on her; she's an isolated figure who lives on the mountain and doesn't really concern herself with other people or the larger going-ons of the world; she doesn't care for intruders but respects strength and isn't inherently inhospitable.

Since she's just a stage 2 boss who hasn't had an an article in a later print work entry (yet) there's little more to infer on in terms of canon. But, as mentioned by others, there's still some grounds to speculate about her relationship with the other mountain inhabitants generally. There's a agreement in place with the tengu about her territory and it's stated that her species forms nonaggression pacts but ... is that a personal agreement concerning Nemuno or part of a generalized thing, some sort of (in?)formal division of the mountain's territory between the various people who inhabit there? Either way it's some basis Nemuno knowing at least some of the other people in charge of things in the mountain even if their relationships have been limited to defining territory and respecting each other's space.

I don't think it's a stretch to suppose that she trades for supplies with others either. She invites Reimu for tea and—though it's not out of the realm of possibility that she grows the stuff herself—that seems like the kind of thing you'd get from some sort of store, perhaps a wandering merchant of some sort (a tengu? a kappa?) So I think that there's grounds to assume at least a limited but regular (business-like, as stated in the profile) interactions with other inhabitants of the mountain.

Something that hasn't been mentioned yet is that her surname, Sakata, is a direct reference to the story of Kintaro. There's a lot of different versions of the origin of Kintaro but in the ones where a yamanba is involved all depict her as a benign figure. Add to that that many of the stories about yamanba are also positive when it comes to interacting with humans (though, of course, there are others where they're monstrous) and what Nemu

>>17517
>tea
Right, I knew I'd overlooked an obvious thing. It does seem like the kind of thing she'd trade for. Probably with the tengu, would be my guess. Then again, perhaps intrepid (and foolish) humans...

>Something that hasn't been mentioned yet is that her surname, Sakata, is a direct reference to the story of Kintaro. There's a lot of different versions of the origin of Kintaro but in the ones where a yamanba is involved all depict her as a benign figure.
I was generally aware of the connection and the story of Kintarou but not familiar enough to say anything pithy. Interesting that a parallel like that can be drawn.

>the heroines are just bulldozing their way from spot to spot in their usual fashion and very much escalate things instead of talking them out
Well, in Nemuno's case in particular, there's not many words exchanged before she just kind of unilaterally attacks. Prior to that, the playable characters are mostly asking about the incident and not even being that assholish, Cirno being the only real exception. Not that it invalidates the point in general, but it is something to note.

As to my own thoughts regarding Nemuno's use in stories, I'd say I generally agree with a lot of what's set down in this post. A story about someone or other — whether it's a 2hu or otherwise — stumbling into her peaceful hag life and taking in its wildness would probably be pretty cozy. That said, I think something of an opposite angle of Nemuno being drawn out of her isolation would make for a fun enough premise. Chances are good that it wouldn't be an earth-shattering adjustment, but her sensibilities still probably clash with ideas of 'civilisation' at times, and seeing how she navigates that would be interesting. Of course, there's also the dorky side of me that kind of wants a portrayal of the politico-social machinery of hashing out territory rights with hags. Who knows what sorts of reasons someo

>>17504
Nothing so trivial. It's their personalities. Their characterizations. What sequence of events bring out the feelings and thoughts about those things and them isn't really something I can suggest—that's up to you because it depends on the things you want to do with those characters.

Maybe I'm doing a poor job of explaining this but it seems obvious to me: I would like to learn more about who they actually are because one of the things that seemed clear to me from reading the story was that they were all hiding their actual thoughts and feelings because (plot) reasons. I want to see a little behind the curtain and it doesn't matter if it's their opinions on whatever trite things you listed so long as it's something that's important to them or their character. Again, not something I can suggest since only you would know what those things are. All I can offer is the most general setups for that like Aun sleuthing around, uncovering something that can't be avoided, overhearing something, being nosy, talking over drinks/tea, etc. since I can't know what you know and feel about the characters and what would come out.

If you can't do that, that's fine. I don't mind little vignettes as suggested by another poster and a clash with Aya in terms of reporting or managing the "truth" that's printed in any article could be interesting. My main interest in the story comes from the characters and their depictions and I can't tell you what they should be.

>>17506
In all honesty, I'm not sure if I can do what you're asking. Probably the deepest problem with the main story is that I figured out after a point that I don't feel secure in knowing much about the principle characters much less what to do with them. The plot, such as it was, was based on a couple of arbitrary answers to questions posed to me, and I'm lukewarm at best on those points now; the main thing stopping me from redoing everything is not knowing what I'd do instead. On top of that, I had (and still have) numerous wide gaps in my understanding of the characters that can't be bridged just by reading some profiles and manga. For instance, I couldn't tell you who Sanae is outside of her shrine maiden role; I don't know what she's actually interested in, what she normally does in her free time, how she feels about this thing or the other, etc. The foundations for all of those characters is shaky at best, and I don't know what concrete steps I can take to fix that.

So, I don't know what else to say. I can maybe string together something from suggestions about specific scenarios, and that's about the best I can do right now. Sitting still for a long time only continues to hurt me, so I'd like to somehow keep moving forward and eventually find some way of fixing the foundational issues, and I think the only way that's likely to happen is a process of doing and discovery. However, motivating that process isn't something I can do myself. What I'm doing right now is all I know to do at this point.

I'm sorry to unload all of this behind-the-curtain talk, but what you're asking touches right on a lot of the deep frustrations I've had with this story and writing in general.

>>17507
As I said before, it's fine if you can't. While I'm interested in what I'm interested, the simpler idea about the aftermath at the Hakurei shrine is also ok. I'm partial to a series of short notes/articles by Aya following attempts to interview the involved parties as a style and/or framing device. Though, perhaps, that might end up being more about Aya and her pushiness rather than the interview subjects (Reimu, Aunn, Marisa?, others?) themselves. Dunno what the other anon might think.

Anonymous reviewer. My opinions, humbly submitted for your perusal.

Takeo the Lucky, Written by Kosuzu Motoori for the Good Children of the Vi(scounty of Bragelonne)

WAHOO!

Nah, Kosuzu wouldn't write like this. I see what you're saying about the metafiction angle but it's distinctly purposeless at every layer of metafiction. Within the story itself it's just "flavourless OC dude gets doted on by out-of-character 2hu girls"; one layer up there's no hint of why Kosuzu would be motivated to write something like this or how it's received in-universe or anything like that; and at the top layer there's nothing being conveyed between you and I by the use of this device except that you liked some books you read that used it and you wanted to try it out for yourself.

Well, if you enjoy the conceit of meta-fictional works being purportedly transmitted to the reader through the author as an intermediary, I'd recommend maybe picking up, say, Don Quixote? Pseudotranslations were rather common historically, both as wink-wink-nudge-nudge sorts of affairs (as in the case of Don Quixote) and as deliberate acts of deception, since "older = better" was the default view on written works for such a long time. As far as more modern pseudotranslations go, there's of course a few famous ones by Borges, and (just off the top of my head) Michael Crichton's Eaters of the Dead, maybe? Anyone else wanna chime in?

Gamblers Deliᵹꞇ ~ Bꞃiᵹꞇ Fꞃiᵹꞇ

Tell tell tell you're telling too much and not showing enough. I dunno. It's just kind of bland? Like I'm reading "Sannyo REACTS to stuff happening in her gambling den". Stuff happens but I don't feel invited in at all because it feels like someone DMing their own roleplay or something. It feels like the investment is supposed to come from, like, who gets the social upper hand in this ex

Midtvinter

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LIBERA ME FROM THIS SWEATY SUMMER HELL

Hmm. What do I say? There's frankly a lot of, like, uncanny phrasing and word usage throughout that feels like the sentences were worked over with tweezers and stitches rather than a brush, which sort of kills the flow and makes it kind of hard to follow. Like: "a puff from the kiseru twinned with a gesture [...] drew the eye and disabled the thinking mind". Classic garden-path effect—without commas setting off the reduced relative clause, "twinned" is apt to be read as a main verb, leading to disaster when the reader hits "drew". Or "it failed to register with the lascivious levity that was intended in the mind of the dazed man": "in the mind of the dazed man" is of course meant to modify "register", but the closer verb is "was intended", and it again takes a moment to correct the attachment. "deftly damped down on the red embers with fingers moistened by an ashen glob of saliva until it extinguished": "until it extinguished" meant for "damped down", but overtures made towards "moistened" instead.

Or in this sentence: "their focus turning to the >>seemingly<-effortless< manner {that she would turn her head {as if to follow her own enticingly private thoughts or to fix a wayfaring strand of light-colored hair {that happened to find its way across from the >>otherwise< orderly< gathered clump {that flowed from a royal yellow bow atthebackofherheaddownbelowhershoulders}}}}". The parts highlighted with >angle brackets< point out interjected low-content adverbs modifying adjective phrases which in turn are interjected between the "the" and the noun in noun phrases. These are non-trivial syntactic operations, which can be used for effect but which it's better to limit, particularly for low-content applications (unlike in e.g. "enticingly private"). They're kind of everywhere in this piece, and two in the same sentence

>>17455
There must be confusion here, the number of people who refer to Chinese characters as hieroglyphs on the internet should be non-singular.

1) Did you participate in the exhibition as either a writer or a reader? If so, why? If so, why not?
I did not participate. the theme just didn't grab me, and without a prize there was no reason for me to participate if it didn't grab me.

2) How often do you think that these types of events should be held? (eg twice a year, three or four times a year etc)
anywhere from two to four, depending on momentum.

3) Did you think that the theme was interesting? Why or why not?
Personally, it felt like it was a combination of almost too vague and too specific. It says a lot that about half of the stories zeroed in on gambling as a theme. fate could be literally anything, luck very few things.

4) For future events should the theme be more specific, broader, focused on specific characters or locations, or something else?
I don't think the theme's specificity is a problem, just the topic itself was more pigeonholy than it might seem at first glance.

5) Does not having a prize or voting for a winner like with previous contests better or worse? Or does it not matter at all?
It can be a deciding factor. It definitely was at least partially that for me. but i think it did fine.

>>17468
>lead-in short by the host/writer
The thing with this is that the host often participates as well, and entrants generally (are supposed to) remain anonymous until afterward in hopes of reducing audience bias. If THP had a more numerous and (consistently) active userbase, I might agree that something like this could work, but it sounds like this is basically 'host sits out', which wouldn't help the numbers problem. In any case, I'm not sure I see how it would necessarily lure people from 'other places'. Why does it need to be something the host does? Why does it have to a piece purpose-written for advertisement? I think efforts would be better spent recommending existing things on THP if convincing others from elsewhere to come here is the concern, to be somewhat blunt; ideas as to the 'elsewhere' and how best to reach out are always welcome, as we've not had any real concerted advertising/recruitment efforts beyond some writers independently cross-posting to some place.

>October event
I have no real opinion either way. Go for it if you think you can. Perhaps test out the host-written lead-in idea and see if it works, too.

1) Did you participate in the exhibition as either a writer or a reader? If so, why? If so, why not?
Initially planned to write but did not complete an entry. I also wasn't satisfied with the concept I had. Honestly, I don't have enough time and energy to do everything I want, and I chose to give other things priority. I feel bad that I did so, though. I think that I struggle to write something to fit a predefined theme, which is a major obstacle for completing a story for events unless I already have an idea in mind that fits.

2) How often do you think that these types of events should be held? (eg twice a year, three or four times a year etc)
I think 3 times per year is a good pace to try. I don't have specific times in mind.

3) Did you think that the theme was interesting? Why or why not?
I thought the theme of fortune and luck was good. Having things be uncertain is a universal experience that can resonate with an audience in any number of ways, from outright games of chance to making more mundane decisions in money, career, school, romance, etc. - the stuff you see on omikuji, which would have been appropriate for the setting. Really, I think that the limiting factor for these events as a whole isn't the choice of theme, but the imagination and skill of the writers. As others pointed out, most of the stories used gambling as the main means to include the theme and left it at that. My opinion is that only one story had something to say about the theme of fortune itself, and the rest ranged from having it on a superficial level to approaching the finish line but not crossing it. I noticed a trend in the entries of spending significant attention on detailing the rules and minutia of the game featured. I don't care in the slightest about games of chance in of themselves; in this context they are merely devices for discussing the theme of the story - what it's supposed to be building up to from the beginning. I care about fortune itself and whether the story had something interesting to say about that.
Concrete examples of ways to approach the theme, in addition to a clarification of the theme itself, were included in the OP for the contest to addr

Step- I would be fine enough with if it's not too central. Outright and actual is not my ball game.

The pics look amazing, by the way!

>>17268
Got you. No Mike showing her littermate the rapes. I mean, the ropes.

The prize has been delivered: >>/at/41374

Thus I declare the contest closed.

>>17228
Minor correction for the OP:

The old story discussion thread is now autosaged and a new one has been created at >>17303.

At random, I had a re-read of Summerfield's Tengu Hold 'em (>>/youkai/31720) and feel it's held up very well over the three years since its posting. I'd forgotten the dialogue being hilarious enough to make me actually laugh out loud, the ridiculous card game the cast of random youkai are playing, and the absolutely perfect ending. There's such a great showing of verisimilitude in the story that's hard to sum up in an easy way. It feels so true even if it's just a singular interpretation of the Mountain and its varied social relations. That it's not mentioned much, if at all, is a shame. Summerfield, thank you for the laughs; I sincerely hope for more at a later date.

>>17274
I'll also just add that people get hung up on tiny little details about characters and whether or not things match them when, honestly, I think they should be more worried about whether or not the characters "feel" like who they're supposed to be, which is a whole separate thing from "muh lore". So even if things get contradicted or whatever by some new chapter of a manga or a new game or whatever the fuck, as long as it's not a lazy archetype with a nuhu's name pasted on, it really doesn't matter. I mean, there's people who don't even care that much about that, so it's not like "not being true to the REAL 2HUS" is going to lose you readers. TL;DR: stop worrying and learn to love the nuhus. Also, most characters don't get that much follow-up by ZUN, so half of anything is going to be made the fuck up anyway.

>>17019

I read it 10 years ago and loved it so much. I reread it a few days ago and it definitely holds up well. Some minor issues with pacing (sometimes spending an entire post dedicated to sorting books in a library) but all the details I remembered about it were just as perfect as they were when I first read it.

Princess Tepes does a great job building their own unique rendition of the SDM. The fresh take on all the SDM residents and their backstories, along with the seven named fairy maids, make for a lovable cast of characters that I miss now that I'm done reading the story. And you can't write a better Flandre than Princess Tepes' Flandre.

Everything from Kay's appearance onwards is perfect - it's incredible that the author was able to write a perfect ending considering the format of stories on this website, with the readers derailing any plans the author might have.

10/10, would read again in another 10 years.

I better see a Mike story from one of you knuckleheads for the coming exhibition.

It's basically established that villagers are important to Gensokyo and youkai aren't allowed to harm them, but what about other villagers? Is it a matter of cosmic significance if a villager murders another, or is it just a statistic? Is there a significant effort to make sure it doesn't happen? To punish offenders? It seems like it would be in the youkai's best interest to keep humans from killing each other, whether on the level of individual murders or something like a civil war, so maybe it's another one of the many things they meddle in?

>>17149
>Is there a significant effort to make sure it doesn't happen? To punish offenders?

I mean, that's basically what we do out here in the Outside World all on our own. I don't think the presence of youkai would suddenly convince humanity that murder is hunky-dory all of a sudden. I mean, if you went out into the woods and found a leprechaun, would your first thought be to start going around killing everyone?

>>17150
>I don't think the presence of youkai would suddenly convince humanity that murder is hunky-dory all of a sudden.
Uh, not sure how you read that out of what I said, but that's not what I said.

I'm saying: do youkai have an interest in keeping villagers from harming/killing each other considering they're so important to Gensokyo? And to be clear, I'm not looking for an "answer" because there really isn't one. It's just wondering out loud.

Ever closer to the end.

bongbong?

I don't feel so good...

>>17096
I shitposted and voted, so I think I won
>>17097
>No you won't.
>spoiler
But I did

>>17131
You forgot Summerfield. Even if his thing didn't span the month, he still finished, and that's worth something.


In all honesty, I didn't care that much for a lot of what was happening. It would have been nice if we had more Pantomime of Youth, but I understand life is a fuck. At least Summerfield's thing was interesting, and I still like Moral's stuff for what it is. I'd be fine with Bee's thing too, but there's not enough to really pass judgement, even though I don't care very much about the porn parts.

>>17133
You can forget me; it's okay. You're definitely not gonna forget the next 5 months of winter, and that's comfort enough for me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LETTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY