GET THEE OUT OF THE FOREST SAXTON HALE 2015/07/26 (Sun) 05:06 No. 184619 ▼ File 143788718348.jpg - (211.42KB, 990x658 , perfect ambush territory.jpg)
"Just watch your footing, mates," said Sniper as he cautiously trudged onward, the outdoorsman taking point by virtue of experience. "No telling if that crazy stabby bint has anything set out here too. Take it single-file, all right?"
"Ah, we're past the worst of it," said Demoman as he fell in behind Sniper, the Scot idly flicking his grenade launcher's sight up and down as he walked. "S'not like she can throw up any more of those wires, right?"
"You'd be surprised," said Sniper, right before his next step plunged through the underbrush and he toppled forward with a shout of panic - the only thing that saved him from falling all the way was Demoman's hair-trigger reflexes, the Scot dropping his weapon to grab the back of Sniper's shirt, digging his boots into the earth. He bodily hauled back, jerking Sniper along with him to solid ground.
"Before you say anything," Demoman said, clapping his hands atop a shaken Sniper's shoulders, "it still wasn't a wire trap, eh?"
"Shaddup," growled Sniper. Once everyone had recovered from the initial shock, they crowded around the hole to peer in; the pit was at least twenty feet deep, and the dirt walls were entirely smooth, which would have made climbing out nearly impossible. Sniper paled a bit more, which was quite a feat with how much blood he'd already lost on this adventure.
"Imagine if we'd been running,? Sekibanki said, taking relief in the fact she could fly.
"Then I'd probably have snapped my neck," Sniper said, and with a quick shake of his head composed himself. "Well, I'd say that's our proof of more traps, lads."
"Of course," Spy dryly remarked. "But Demoman won't always be able to catch you, so do try to spot the next pit before you walk straight into it."
"Wanker," grumbled Sniper, circling around the hole and paying a great deal more attention to his path as the group advanced once again. With Sniper on point and Demoman behind him, that left Spy and Sekibanki to bring up the rear, the former reading off directions from the map and the latter hovering scant inches off the ground out of well-placed paranoia, even if her path was less a line and more a drunken zig-zag from all the head trauma she'd suffered.
After a bare handful of minutes filled with Sniper stomping through underbrush and dodging the occasional pit, Sekibanki came to a sudden realization and groaned, covering her face in despair. "Aw, man, I can't ever go back there after this!"
"I don't see why you'd want to go back," said Sniper, pushing past a shrub. "Place's a bloody madhouse."
"Well, yeah, of course it is when you break in like we did!" Sekibanki replied, folding her arms and sulking. "But now I- agh, I never should've agreed to this stupid mess!"
"We'll just have to make it worth your while, then," said Spy, taking a moment from the map to spare her a winsome grin. "How about-"
"Lads?" Demoman said, holding a fist up as he stopped in his tracks, which had the unintended side-effect of the distracted Spy bouncing off his back. "Y'hear that?"
"Hear what?" Spy groused, scowling at the cyclops. "Your liver weeping in agony?"
Sniper spoke next, voice low. "Rustling."
"Oh," said Sekibanki, her earlier worries rendered unimportant by the threat of her face getting removed. "Oh."
Everyone stayed quiet as they spread out into a cross formation, backs to each other as they slowly glanced around the forest and, perhaps more importantly, the thick undergrowth all around them that, at its worst, came up to their knees. The air was silent save for the occasional noise of something moving through greenery, slowly intensifying with more and more with every passing second, and all around them leaves and ferns would sway.
"Spy," Sniper said to the man at his left, forced calm radiating from him. "Which way out?"
Spy's eyes flicked to the map. "... Ahead of me," he whispered. "About a mile."
"Oh, hell," Demoman grunted, setting his gun's sight up for the last time.
"Right." Sniper took a deep breath, then slung his bow over his back in favor of his SMG. "Ready, lads?"
"You know," Spy addressed their ambushers, sounding supremely disinterested as he rolled the map up and stowed it inside his suit, "hiding won't save you." He dropped the shotgun in favor of his revolver, because if he was going to go down fighting, it was going to be with his gun of choice, damn whatever Scout would say afterwards.
"This is how I'm gonna die, apparently," Sekibanki marveled, hovering in place, fists clenched tight and glowing faintly red. "Oooh, I'm an idiot.?
All the rustling in the underbrush stopped.
"Fiiiireeeeee!" Demoman bellowed, firing pipe bombs around him at random. Everyone else joined in, filling the forest with explosions, booms of revolver fire, the steady rat-a-tat-tat of a full-auto machine gun, and streams of unaimed danmaku, and they were rewarded with screams from the underbrush as their mad assault struck home.
The problem was that a horde of rabbits surged forward, screeching as they swarmed the group's legs. Sniper was the first to go down, the combined weight of all his injuries rendering him easy prey. Demoman fought hard, pan a-swinging, but when one jumped on his face it was all over. Spy was the last to drop as he was buried underneath the weigh of three-dozen bunnies latching onto every square inch of his body and gnawing him to the ground.
Sekibanki, dazed as she was, still remembered the most important thing that separated her from the mercenaries, and flew up, spraying bullets at the horde below and glorying in her foolproof plan. "Ha!" she cackled, more out of relief at avoiding even more pain than anything, but a familiar howl jerked her eyes upwards to a crazed, divebombing Tewi.
When the small girl collided with Sekibanki, the redhead was treated to a stream of gibbering along the lines of "Killyougonnakillyoudiemaimburnslaughterskullsforhisthronediiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee?
The two hit the ground hard, the impact knocking what little sense was left in Sekibanki's head out while leaving the infuriated rabbit straddling her chest.
?I'LL RIP YOUR HEART O? damn it she's out cold," Tewi snarled, hopping off the thoroughly unconscious redhead and turning her attention to a quivering pile of rabbits and the Australian buried beneath them. She stalked over, hands trembling in bloody-minded anticipation, and a snap of her fingers was all the cue the rabbits needed to clear off Sniper, the man laid flat out on his face. It was a miracle he was still breathing after his latest mauling, but even so, he was already blindly groping for his kukri when Tewi stomped on his outstretched hand; his answering hiss of pain was all the encouragement she need to start talking.
"Hey, you piss-lobbing jackass," she said, leaning over his head, jagged teeth bared as dark joy welled up in her. "How's it going?"
"Okay," said Sniper candidly, squinting up at her through all the blood on his face. "Before you kill me, I got a question."
"What?"
"Your- your name, it's Tewi?" he asked, pronouncing it Tei like everyone else had previously because Japan is a strange land with stranger names not meant to be written in English, and the finer points of the language are lost in translation as a result.
"What's your point?" she asked, patience rapidly running out.
Sniper grinned weakly. "I suppose you got Jaratei'd, eh?"
Bushman and hare stared at each other.
"Ahaha," Tewi said, her small frame wracked with giggles as she crouched down. She was still giggling as she grabbed the kukri with both hands and hauled it back over her head. "Ahahahahahahahahahahaha I'LL KILL YOU.?
All Sniper could think to say as she swung down at his face was a simple, resigned ?Bugger."
"WHAT'S ALL THIS COMMOTION, EH?" bellowed a new woman cheerfully, and Tewi halted her deathblow inches from Sniper's face. "I BETTER NOT SEE ANYONE GETTING MURDERED OR WE'RE GOING TO HAVE WORDS.?
"Gods damn it!" Tewi swore, panting in agonized frustration at her vengeance being interrupted, even as her eyes flicked between the man at her mercy and the woman rapidly closing on their position, crashing through the underbrush with thunderous impacts. Her whole body shook in rage as she stood up and kicked him in the face purely out of spite. "I'll be coming for you, you rotten son of a bitch."
Parting shot delivered, she scampered away with Sniper's knife as her only consolation, the rest of the rabbits following her lead and leaving the mercs with a charming assortment of bite marks.
?Merde," Spy cursed, running his hands over his torn suit and grimacing in dismay; the rabbits had left him looking like some homeless wretch, and he mentally swore revenge on Eientei as he stood and brushed bits of fur off.
"We good?" Demoman asked, sitting up and wincing as he gingerly prodded at his bloody face and sincerely wishing he had more to drink.
"Think so," Sniper mumbled, face-down in the dirt and happy to stay that way.
"I'd say you are!" said their savior, and the two upright mercs shifted to face her.
Keine Kamishirasawa, with her trademark pagoda-hat and blue dress and blue eyes and blue hair, might have provoked a more hostile response from the mercenaries if they were on a regular battlefield, but instead-
"Lookit her hat,? Demoman whispered in awe, pointing at her. Spy could only nod slowly in agreement, both men marveling at the teacher's headgear.
Keine squinted at the two men, brows furrowed. "My eyes are down here."
"Of... course," Spy said, and with a heroic effort tore his eyes away from the majesty of Keine's hat. "Thank you for your fortuitous arrival, madam."
"Yeh," Sniper added, raising a hand in a thumbs-up before dropping it once again.
Keine spared both Sniper and Sekibanki a deeply concerned look before shaking her head, focusing on the mercs ahead of her and studiously ignoring how Demoman was still staring at her hat. "So I take it you bunch are the cause behind those big explosions at the village earlier?"
"Aye!" said Demoman, seeing no point in hiding it.
"And that you were engaging in some highly illegal activities at Eientei not too long ago?" Keine continued, tone innocent.
"Nah!" said Demoman, because he still had some brain cells that alcohol hadn't destroyed, much to Spy's pleasant surprise.
"Why're you here, anyway?" asked Sniper, having rolled onto his back and content to stay that way.
Keine blanched as she got a good look at Sniper's injuries, but pressed on. "Well, A, I was tracking you bunch to try and figure out what you're doing here, and B, I was also planning to see my friend Mokou. Thought I'd make it a two for one, you know? Maximize my trip efficiency."
Spy shrugged. "Well, Mokou's doing all right, from what we saw of her. She was setting some other woman on fire and strangling her with her own intestines."
"What," said Keine, expression flat with resignation.
"Doing a fine job of it, too," added Demoman. "Might be you'll catch up with her if you head to that big ol' mansion."
Keine swept her disapproving teacher eyes across the men, who all found good reasons to avoid them. "... Tell you what. I've got to go handle that, but we're going to have a talk back at the village when I'm done here."
"See you then, lass," Sniper said as Keine floated up, but that act raised another question from him. "And, ah, why didn't you fly here instead of slogging through on foot?"
"I did," she said. "But then I heard the whole commotion over here, and stomping around made my approach more noticeable, so-"
"Right, right," said Sniper. "Thanks."
"Hmph. Just remember that if you avoid me, I'll find you." Keine floated away on that ominous note, the effect of which was lessened when her dress caught on a shrub and she had to spend an embarrassingly long handful of seconds extricating herself.
While that was going on, Spy ambled over to Sniper and lit up a new cigarette. "Get up, would you?"
"Go to hell, Spy," Sniper genially replied, sitting up with a great deal of effort. While Spy helped him to his feet, Demoman employed the time-tested method of rousing Sekibanki with a solid kick, which sent her rolling away on instinct.
"No, I don't wanna get on your doom-ferry, lady, lay off!" she moaned, covering her head and curling up.
"You're not dead," Demoman patiently explained, as Medic had to him the first time he'd exploded on the job. "So quit layin' about and we can get outta here."
She peeked out at him through vision so hazy he was just a red and black blob. "What."
"He's spot on," added Sniper, standing on his own power, if barely. "Let's go before that girl what stole my knife comes back to murder me, please?"
Before Sekibanki could ask for further details, Demoman grabbed her arm and pulled her upright. "Okay," she said, rubbing at her eyes. "This sounds like a good plan. Let's do it."
-----
While the group didn't rest easy until they were out of the forest, the trip back to the village was surprisingly without incident, if still painful for everyone involved. They cleared the village gates without a problem, since the guards took a single look at the heavily-armed, blood-coated lunatics and deciding this was a problem for a higher authority. The villagers gave the mercs a wide berth for much the same reason, which was perfectly fine by them; it meant they didn't have to answer questions about their guns or the briefcase or all the blood they were leaking. This left them with a clear path to the shop where this mess started, and they stormed it in high spirits at their success.
"We did it!" Demoman cheered, first through the door. "Ahahaha!"
"Right, then," Sniper said, filled with satisfaction at a job done, if not well, then at least without him dying in the process.
"Yay!" Sekibanki added, relieved to be on safe ground once more.
Spy was merely content to lean against the doorsill in peace, puffing away at a new cigarette.
As they crowded inside, their voices drew the attention of the young lady perched on a ladder and nailing wood boards to the hole in the ceiling. The redhead looked down at them, hammer in one hand, bucket of nails on the ladder with her, and her face twisted in recognition.
"YOUUUUUUUU!" she howled, hopping off the ladder and storming over to meet them, shivering in outrage. She barely came up to Demoman's neck, but that didn't stop her from waving the hammer about menacingly at him. "You broke my roof! And my head!"
"Hold on, lass," said Demoman, laying a hand on her face and pushing her away. "Banki, you can put the briefcase down now."
"You got it!" Sekibanki said, pulling free the purple briefcase that had been stuck to her back this entire time and planting it on the counter, whereupon a gap formed beneath it and gravity forced it in. Everyone watched in silence as the gap sealed, and stayed that way as they processed this new development.
Sekibanki swiveled to give the mercs a wide-eyed look. "You're working for Yukari?"
"You know it!" said Yukari, popping through a gap in the ceiling to hang upside-down. Sekibanki shrieked, the assistant sputtered, and the mercenaries took it without blinking.
"Well, that explains the closet!" Kosuzu finally managed, gesturing angrily at a wooden locker with both a medical cross sign and an ammunition sign bolted to the bottom. "When did you sneak that thing in here?"
"It's not like you were in any state to notice," Yukari said, waving her off. She receded into the gap, only to pop out through another and end up leaning over the store counter. "Now, Kosuzu, if you'll just-"
"No!" Kosuzu declared, and thank goodness we finally got a name for her because otherwise this would have gotten annoyingly repetitive. "Get out of my sto-"
Yukari shoved a hand through one gap, another opened above Kosuzu's head, and Yukari deposited a pouch full of coins on her head. "There you go!"
Kosuzu took the pouch, undid the string holding it shut, and peered in. Her eyes grew very wide indeed as she looked back up. "Um. Never mind."
"Good girl," Yukari said, smiling at Kosuzu as she quietly returned to fixing the ceiling. The blonde turned her attentions to the patiently waiting mercenaries and a not-so-patient Sekibanki. "Nicely done, all of you."
"What's all this about?" Sekibanki demanded from the head of the group, glaring determinedly at the woman she thought responsible for her many brushes with death and conveniently ignoring it was her own fault she went with the mercenaries in the first place. "What are you trying to pull?"
"Oh, I'm just livening things up around Gensokyo," Yukari airily replied, still smiling. "I'm already paying these fine men to cause trouble, but how would you like to get in on this too?"
"What're you paying them?"
"Hats."
Sekibanki blinked, slowly rotating her head one-eighty degrees to stare blankly at the mercs. "Hats."
"Naturally," said Spy.
The respect she had just lost for the men could not be calculated on any scale known to mankind. Her head swiveled back to Yukari, who had placed a hand over her mouth to cover her now-genuine smile. "Why?"
"They love hats," Yukari confirmed, carefully keeping her voice neutral.
"This is great and all," Sniper said, disinterestedly examining his fingernails, "but you wouldn't show up without a reason, lady. What's going on?"
Yukari giggled, clasping her hands together against her chest. "How observant! I'm here to give you all a bonus after your first successful mission!"
"What're our options?" asked Demoman, ever eager to augment his ability to vaporize people he didn't like.
"It's quite a list, let me warn you," said Yukari, expression suddenly businesslike as she folded her hands together under her chin. "In the interests of fairness, however, I'll only let you have one. Now, I can give you another one of your teammates, if you want. Then four of you can cause trouble! Otherwise, well, I've seen you work when you're up against those robots, and those upgrades you get are very, very nice indeed! I suppose I could also send my minions out to try and hush up what you did over at Eientei; it won't last very long, but you should be able to get around Gensokyo a bit longer without everyone being on edge. It's up to you, really."
"Anything else?" Spy inquired, gesturing aimlessly.
Yukari spread her hands. "Well, if you want a break, I can always substitute another of your friends to take your place. That one's for free."
__________
REWARD OPTIONS
[X] Additional mercenary slot acquired! (You can now deploy 4 mercs at any one time.)
[X] Upgrade equipment and abilities across the board for all mercenaries! (Think Mann VS Machine. The mercs will be rendered more resistant to damage of all kinds, they'll slowly regenerate health, their weapons pack more kick and hold more ammo, and they're just a bit faster and jump a bit higher)
[X] Stifling the flow of information is a good idea when you've got an entire fantasy land of people who are eager to kick your head in. (Yukari prevents word of your exploits from spreading, which means whoever you attack will still be completely off-guard)
WHAT IS YOUR NEW TEAM COMPOSITION
[X] Actually, this team worked fine as it is.
[X] WRITE-IN [LOADOUT SUGGESTIONS ALSO POSSIBLE]
SELECT NEW TARGET
[X] The Buddhist Temple: AKA the Palanquin Ship. *
[X] The center of the Forest of Magic. **
[X] The Palace of the Earth Spirits. **
[X] The top of Youkai Mountain. ***
[X] Eientei's backroom research area. *** COMPLETED
[X] The Nuclear Furnace. ****
[X] The basement of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. *****
[X] The center of the Garden of the Sun. *****
[X] The Hakurei Shrine's donation box. ********************
