SoothingCoffee 2016/05/24 (Tue) 12:26 No. 188451 "Perseus." You begin, tilting your blob-like body to the side. "Perseus Hearn. You can call me Percy." You clarify.
The green haired Judge nods her head. "I am called Yamaxanadu Shikieiki." And dang, if that's not a long name.
You tilt your body, starting to get used with how this whole blob-shape thing works. Just move like you were alive, and the blob that is now your body would move accordingly. Not accurately, but it seems that she understands your meaning. The Japanese naming convention and suffixes escape you, and you're unsure if she would be offended or not, so you make a mental note to use her full name.
You remember there's the -chan Weebs from the Internet loves to use, so you won't be calling her that. There's -kun, but you vaguely remember it's for male, and unless Yamaxanadu Shikieiki has a cock down there, you doubt it would be appropriate?although it's another matter entirely to which she identifies the most as. There's -sama and -dono, but you can't remember what they meant; used for servants, perhaps? There's -senpai and -kouhai, which basically meant ?senior? and ?junior?, which you suppose could work? Then again, calling someone a senior would imply that you're their junior, and unless you're going to wear a black robe, you're sure that won't work.
She clears her throat, a somewhat childlike noise that jerks you in place, and snaps you back into the world. She stares at you with a look of patient, but somehow not entirely patient. Judging, the word comes to you.
You gulp, once again thanking your blobbiness to prevent any sign of blushing. "It was a traffic accident." You answer truthfully, quirking a metaphorical grumble and smile. "Same old, same old, really."
You remember the events like the back of your hand, so seared in your mind that you doubt you could even forget it. As every bad thing is wont to happen, it was at night. You were going to the local grocery store, planning to stock up your tea and coffee with some snacks to go along with it. Some jerkwad busted your bike, so you had to force yourself walking with great reluctance.
You keep a pocket knife on hand, just to be safe. After all, you would rather keep your anal-virginity in a safe, and your stomach-virginity, and your death-virginity. All virginity, to be honest.
"The light was red." You say, "shrugging? nonchalantly.
You were standing at the end of a crossroad. Across, the grocery store stood like the North Star. The street wasn't full, but it wasn't empty either?cars and pickups would pass by here and there, and you wait patiently for the light just like the law-abiding person you are. Were.
"And I was crossing the street?where all of the sudden, this car came out from nowhere." Despite your effort to keep it light, you couldn't help but feel sour at the memory. "They were probably drunk too."
When you were crossing the street, the first you heard was the skidding sound of rubber wheels against asphalt, like a man losing his testicles. But the actual warning was the nearing, and full-blown Yakety Sax coming from your side?
"It bowled me over hard to next sunday." You end, feeling less? well, less happier than before.
You remember floating in the sky, your body fucked with pure unadulterated pain that would bring a masochist into ten orgasms in one succession. There were screams, mostly coming from you. You stare at the faces of dumb people riding the shitty red car, Yakety Sax running in the background.
And then you hit the ground, and then died.
"And I suppose the rest is history." You finish, watching the Judge expectantly. You wonder what would happen after this?would you go to Heaven? Unlikely. Hell? Likely. Perhaps a sort of Limbo? Hopefully.
She stares at the something on her desk, pursing her lips in an oddly adorable way. "I see." She nods her head, before tilting up to you. "Such an unfortunate event." She comments, giving you a tiny smile. "Nevertheless, from what I have seen, and heard, it appears to me that your sin is not great enough to be sent to Hell." You feel relief from that. "However," and that relief is gone, because of course there would be a ?however?. ?I cannot in good conscience allow you go into Heaven. You have too great of a crime. Therefore, you will be sent into the Netherworld."
You blink, memories of gaming and fantasy literatures coming to you. "Nether?what?"
She nods. "The Netherworld. You will reside there as your afterlife." She pauses, pushing the wooden rod up to her chin. "Normally, I would like to lecture you, but it appears that I am too busy for that. I would like you to think about any possible crimes you've done and learn from it. Good bye, and good luck, Perseus Hearn."
You're about to say something, but couldn't as she taps her rod onto the table. And you find yourself floating, floating, and floating. Your mind is a sea of calm, and you're drifting, drifting, and drifting. The scent of flowers seep into yourself, and they soothe you more than you could think possible.
The sky is white and foggy, and you find yourself surrounded by dead trees.
You blink, twitching side to side. "What the fuck?"
[] What now?
