[x] Infiltration of the school building.
[x] Sign up as a student or beat up one and steal her/his clothes.

>@ Legally changing Miss Keine’s name
>@ Getting an A+

What

>@ Steeling shoes

What this I don't even.

[]Distract Keine with something shiny, like that gold tooth. Put it on the ground somewhere. Bury yourself near it and burst from the ground triumphantly when Keine's bit the bait. Flip her skirt over her head, grab her shoes and run for it.

[x] Prepare a concealed head-protector prior to infiltration.

We must be ready to counter Keine's most dreaded weapon if we are to succeed!!

Huzzah!

>@ Getting an A+

I think that, in order to get that, we need to complete all the possible objectives. Therefore, we must first get to the most time-consuming one first:

>@ Legally changing Miss Keine’s name

As such:
[X] Head down to the main bureaucratic center of the human village and request a bunch of forms, including a name change form. Also beat up a bureaucrat, take their clothes, and forge a form that, when signed, will give you legal custody of all of Keine's shoes, past, present, and future.
[X] Trick Keine into signing, at the very least, the name change form, and the shoe form.

Also:

[X] Check inventory.

[X] Head down to the main bureaucratic center of the human village and request a bunch of forms, including a name change form. Also beat up a bureaucrat, take their clothes, and forge a form that, when signed, will give you legal custody of all of Keine's shoes, past, present, and future.
[X] Trick Keine into signing, at the very least, the name change form, and the shoe form.

This seems like the beginnings of a way to turn Keine into our unwilling cohort, using our control over her life as a legal means to force her into assisting us on our quest for shoes.

[X] Head down to the main bureaucratic center of the human village and request a bunch of forms, including a name change form. Also beat up a bureaucrat, take their clothes, and forge a form that, when signed, will give you legal custody of all of Keine's shoes, past, present, and future.
[X] Trick Keine into signing, at the very least, the name change form, and the shoe form.

[X] Head down to the main bureaucratic center of the human village and request a bunch of forms, including a name change form. Also beat up a bureaucrat, take their clothes, and forge a form that, when signed, will give you legal custody of all of Keine's shoes, past, present, and future.
[X] Trick Keine into signing, at the very least, the name change form, and the shoe form.

Sure, why not?

[X] Head down to the main bureaucratic center of the human village and request a bunch of forms, including a name change form. Also beat up a bureaucrat, take their clothes, and forge a form that, when signed, will give you legal custody of all of Keine's shoes, past, present, and future.
[X] Trick Keine into signing, at the very least, the name change form, and the shoe form.

Clearly Miss Keine’s name is a travesty unto the world, and cannot be allowed to persist. The children of her classroom must lie awake at night in fear and chaos, ever wondering how to pronounce their beloved teacher’s last name. As a good, law-abiding citizen of Gensokyo, it is you moral obligation—to society and to the cosmos itself—to legally change her name to something easier on the ears.

But for this you will need to fill out the proper procedures.

Vacating your impenetrable bush of solitude, you walk about town in one of your more favorite pair of cross-trainers. Strolling around without a care in the world, you feel at peace with yourself. Nothing helps you attain nirvana quite like a hearty quest for shoes.

The small town hall and courtroom of the Human Village rests peacefully, a sleepy government official maintaining the main desk. Putting a serious business face on your face, you ask the man for several forms: A change of address form, a change of political party form, a change of gender form, a change of pocket change form, a change of clothes form, and a change of name form. The man’s face grows more confused with each perfectly legitimate request, but he hands them to you nonetheless. Filling the legal documents out becomes somewhat of a guilty pleasure, which you relish for all of thirty-five minutes.

*Your address has legally been changed from “Cardboard Box, Forest of Magic” to “Corrugated Domicile 001, Dirt Rd., Forest of Magic.”*

*Your political party has been legally changed from “Independent” to “Shoepublican”*

*Your gender has been legally change from “Gender: Female” to “Gender: Female”*

*Your pocket change has been legally changed from “0 Yen” to “0 Euros”*

*Your clothes have been legally changed from “Cool Overalls” to “Bureaucrat’s Suit”*

However, there appears to be a flaw in the system. The man behind the desk cannot find an additional “Bureaucrat’s Suit” in the building beyond the one he himself is wearing. You point out that, as you filled out the form, you are therefore entitled to the man’s clothes. He attempts to explain such things as “due processes” and “laissez faire” to you for unknown reasons, but you use your superior LEGALITY attribute to silence him via a stout shoe upside the head. It is truly a victory for the right to bear arms.

Feeling a surge in your LEGALITY as you slide into the sharp silk suit, you combine your political power with your vast ENGENUITY to create a masterwork “Official Redistribution of Domestic Travel” form. It is a beautiful tapestry of legalese and democratic jargon, able to silence even the most intelligent fat cat with its great walls of text. With this, none will question your complete ownership of the sensei’s footwear! You feel so inspired by your burgeoning success, you also create a “Consensual Ban of Malicious Cranial Intent” form. For the kids, of course.

Armed with your three mighty documents of LEGALITY, all that’s left to do is approach Keine in an impressive and convincing fashion. You should think about this deeply; it is always important to put one’s best foot forward.

CHOOSE TWO!
[ ] Constitution
[ ] Strength
[ ] Intelligence
[ ] Wisdom
[ ] Charisma
[ ] Dexterity
[ ] (insert stat here)
[ ] (insert hat here)

[ ] Intelligence
[ ] Charisma

Better speaking and more brainpower

[x] Intelligence
[x] Charisma

For the Shoepublicans!

[x] Guts!
[x] Courage!

[x] Intelligence
[X] Common Sense

>[ ] (insert stat here)
[X] LEGALITY
>[ ] (insert hat here)
[X] Wig: see picture.

[x] Moxie
[x] Chutzpah

[ ] Intelligence
[ ] Charisma

[x] Might
[x] Skill

[x] Intelligence
[x] Charisma

>>79748

My choice won?! My choice won! Huzzah!

[x] Intelligence
[x] Charisma

Of course, I would have voted for moxie and chutzpah, or hot blooded determination... Ah well!

>>79893
you know you want to vote for it

>>79592
I think I've been to that shoe store.

[x]Smelting.
[x]Commodore hat.

You can't just refute the awesomeness and authority of a commodore hat, You just can't.

[x] Shoestitution
[x] Bootelligence

[x] Shoestitution
[x] Bootelligence

[x] Intelligence
[x] Charisma

Today is no time for tomfoolery! When something as important as shoes and the pronunciation of monikers are on the line, you must act with your mind and your soul, not with your body and your sole! Only the ones with the most ENGENUITY and DUPLICITY will succeed against a savvy shoe-wearer like She-Whose-Name-Must-Not-Be! You must be brave and bold like a combat boot, and yet cool and composed like a golf shoe.

Commandeering the ex-bureaucrat’s briefcase and bowler hat, you march over to the schoolhouse and burst open the door into Miss Keine’s office, radiating pure charisma. Nobody expects the Zapados Inquisition!

With a hurried tone you inform Miss Keine of the gravest of news! Due to her highly influential and unique role as the imbiber of knowledge to Gensokyo’s young and promising generation, it appears that neither her shoes nor her name are in the same tax bracket as her occupation! If action is not taken immediately, it could cause an accounting nightmare that may jeopardize the economical jurisdiction of the school itself! As a concerned citizen and perfectly-qualified legal official, it is your duty—nay, your obligation!—to ensure the well-being of herself and her students!

Keine’s face grows grim and stone-like, aware of the dire implications of the news. Resting herself in her swivel chair, she asks if anything can be done. With a deft hand you spring open the briefcase and present her with your three forms. As you hand her a special fountain pen, imbibed with ink made of pure liquid LEGALITY, you explain to her that her last name and all shoes under her custody must be moved to a special holding facility, where they with be reviewed by government officials to re-classify her tax bracket and provide her with a name and shoes revised to fall within the correct specifications. It is a troublesome matter, but you assure her desperate measures must be taken to avoid the desperate times that will surely follow. Sliding the Mathematics papers away from her, she brandishes the pen and signs the forms according to your professional instructions.

This is a triumph! When you return home you will remember to make a note here: HUGE SUCCEESS! She removes the shoes off her feet and informs you that she owns only this pair. You observe them professionally, restraining yourself from holding them above your head and singing a musical tone. They are soft blue women’s shoes without heels, and are quite large for a woman. You had no idea Keine had such big feet! Additionally, she removes her odd-looking hat and rummages around inside of it. It appears to be much larger on the inside than it is on the outside, and thus she uses it as a kind of secret hideaway for important documents and other objects. She removes a thick laminated card and hands it to you. “KAMISHIRAKAWA,” it reads. This must obviously be the essence of her last name in physical form! Jubilations! Without this, no one will have to worry about her last name ever again!

As you turn to leave with the papers and shoes safely tucked away in “your” briefcase, she alerts you that you forgot something. Readjusting the bento box hat back onto her hand, she offers you a chart-filled paper and smiles. It is a most curious document; you wonder what it could mean?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
SHO102: The Gensokyo Legal System
TERM REPORT CARD
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Section One: LEGALITY
Quiz 1 – A
Quiz 2 – A+
Independent Project 1 – A++
Test 1 – A

Section Two: ENGENUITY
Quiz 3 – A
Quiz 4 – A-
Independent Project 2 – B+
Test 2 – A

Section Three: DUPLICITY
Quiz 5 – A-
Test 3 – A

Final Project – A++
Final Exam – A+

FINAL GRADE – A+

Instructor Comments: You’re a creative student with large amounts of determination, and you cover your minor shortcomings with hard-earned extra credit and enjoyable wit. Don’t be afraid to challenge the system and try something on your own! Have you ever considered a career in motivational speaking?

Keine

Awesome! Now time for the last two and most crucial parts of our mission!

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing swet!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

{x] Onward to glory

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing set!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

To the blacksmith! Make them steel toed boots.

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing set!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing set!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing set!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

[X] A victory swing over the top bar of the swing set!
[X] Steel the shoes! ... whatever that means.

An A-Plus! You’ve never gotten an A-Plus before, not even at stealing shoes! But you simply can’t express your exuberance right here; the suit you’re wearing has so much LEGALITY that your capabilities of expressing GAIETY have been sorely diminished! Bowing to the odd-hatted schoolmarm, you exit the building and once again hide behind your bush of ultimate solitude. It’s a very good thing that you brought your old clothes with you in that briefcase, otherwise you’d have to waste precious time in transit back to the courthouse! Making sure no unscrupulous lolicon perverts are lurking behind the nearby trees, you change back into your old overalls.

*Your LEGALITY has been reduced to its normal level.*

*Your ENGENUITY remains unaffected.*

*Your GAIETY has been increased to its normal level. It is temporarily boosted due to your recent acquisition of a SHOE(S).*

*Your DUPLICITY (Bureaucracy) has been returned to DUPLICITY (Puppydog Eyes), and experiences a slight reduction.*

Without that restraining cravat and starched collar, you are free to run around and be as giddy as a schoolgirl; if you actually went to school, that is. Certainly a schoolgirl must have something to be giddy about. Such as not having to worry about Miss Keine’s name anymore! This calls for a celebration swing!

The playground is completely deserted as you jump onto the cracked rubber seat of a chain-link swing. The black scoop is slightly and unpleasantly hot from the bright sun, but with your heightened GAIETY levels you can easily ignore this minor inconvenience!

Your faithful shoes push off against the gravelly sand, digging the old arced rut just a little deeper, as hundreds of children have done before. Slowly you build up speed and height as you pump your legs against the evil forces of gravity and aerodynamic drag. Nothing can stop your jubilation from today’s success! NOTHING!

Higher and higher. Higher and higher. You can feel the wind in your hair…

Faster and faster. Faster and faster. You can see the top of the bar as you crane your neck backwards…

Harder and harder. Harder and harder. Why not just try and swing over the top, then…?

Further and further. Further and further. With just another push, you think you’ll just manage to clear the bar…

But alas! Your meager BRUTALITY levels are far too small to challenge this swingset at a race to the top! Perhaps if you would have been a good girl and eaten your vegetables as a child, you might have been able to fight gravity with additional aid from your GAIETY, but it looks like you have been soundly defeated today. Slightly disheartened, you will have to be satisfied with a double-backflip-half-twist as you jump off the aperture and stick your landing perfectly.

+ + + + +

In the silent bowels of an underground vault, a latch opens on a steel-rimmed glass door. The opened container is small and recessed into a wide wall, perfectly polished to a mirror shine. A small hand delicately slides two blue shoes into the container, one on either side of a Plexiglas divider. Readjusting the shoes ever so slightly into perfect symmetry, the hand closed and locked the door, a pair of eyes staring through the three-inch-thick glass with satisfaction.

“Subject C048-002, Kamishirakawa Keine. Shoes steeled and sealed. Mission Complete.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

MISSION COMPLETE!

YOU RECEIVED:
@ Some THING(S)!

LEVEL UP!
@ +1 Stats!
@ +1 Hats!
@ +0 Bats!

NEW TECHNIQUE!
You can now use ”That”!

@ You were successful in stealing shoes, steeling shoes, legally changing Keine’s name, and getting an A+!

@ You were unsuccessful in swinging over the top bar of the swingset!

@ You didn’t know it, but you were successful in having the proper hattitude!

You got a possible SCORE points out of a possible HIGHER SCORE points!

>You got a possible SCORE points out of a possible HIGHER SCORE points!

You fucking love your despair, don't you Owen?

>You got a possible SCORE points out of a possible HIGHER SCORE points!

Will this be useful?

>>80982

Points are about as useful as a wicker bedpan.

>>88769
Much like this post.

THAT IS NOT DEAD WHICH CAN ETERNAL LIE.

AND WITH STRANGE EONS EVEN DEATH MAY DIE.

BUT LOVECRAFT NEVER HAD THIS BOARD TO USE.

AND CTHULHU ISN’T QUITE AS STRONG AS SHOES!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
MISSION #5: THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES!

Operative Note: It may be advisable to first return to base before embarking on a new mission: >>/others/14859
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You bend down and touch your toes, letting your fingers wrap around your little piggies as you praise whoever invented open-toed sandals. How long has it been since you’ve stolen a pair of shoes again? It feels like ages. In reality it’s only been two days, but hey, that’s like almost 117 days in shoe-years! You wonder why your brain thought up such a specific number, but that’s not important right now! You’ve got to pick up some new shoes fast, otherwise you’ll be losing your edge! And having a dull-edged rapier wit just will not do!

Your target, as you just arbitrarily decided about five minutes ago, is one Mokou Fujiwara, that health-nut girl. Some people call her “Fujiwara no Mokou” ‘cause of family names, but you are not some people! You’re just one people! Or, person. Whatever, shoes! She has them! Unless she burned them off her feet, in which case shoe ashes are pretty good too!

Currently you’re sitting on a small log near the Human Village, watching the white-haired lady tend her chicken-type stand from afar as you munch on an apple. It tastes like you found it on the ground somewhere, and as everyone knows, free things taste delicious! Just savor all those savory savings, mmm…

Aha! An idea hits you in the head! Compared to all the rocks and shoes people throw at you (their loss, you get more shoes out of it!), getting hit with an idea hurts a whole lot less!

[ ] Plan? Who needs a plan?! The best laid plans of mice and men don’t matter, because you’re neither mouse nor man! Just run over and grab them things!
[ ] She won’t be a health nut for long once you introduce her to the wonders of a deep fat fryer! Just imagine all the possibilities!
[ ] Clearly the only way to oust her is with entrepreneurship! If you open up a competing stall, she’ll have to sell her shoes just to stay in business with your savvy skills against her!
[ ] Convince Mystia Loreli to move in across the street from Mokou and start a price-gouging war! Clearly this will somehow lead to you getting shoes of some kind!
[ ] Walk up to the stand and chat her up. Maybe you’ll gain some valuable information you can use against her!

THINGS YOU MIGHT PROBABLY THINK ABOUT DOING:
+ Win friends
+ Influence people
+ Win people
+ Influence friends
+ Baker’s Dozen Challenge: Eat twelve yakitori sticks and get the thirteenth free!

[x] She won’t be a health nut for long once you introduce her to the wonders of a deep fat fryer! Just imagine all the possibilities!
How does immortal handle high blood pressure and cholesterol? Perfect victory.

Glad to see this back!

[X] Convince Mystia Lorelei to move in across the street from Mokou and start a price-gouging war! Clearly this will somehow lead to you getting shoes of some kind!
[X] Help Mystia out by starting a protection racket that only accepts shoes as payment for protection.

If she knows what's good for her, she'll hand over the shoes before something bad happens to her stall, y'see?

[x] Convince Mystia Loreli to move in across the street from Mokou and start a price-gouging war! Clearly this will somehow lead to you getting shoes of some kind!

Do something that involved Reimu and her shrine box thing, what ever it was, but most importantly, SHOOOOOOES! Reimu had some new ones when you took her second pare, so why not make it an even three? Heck you could end up getting Mokou's shoes as well!

Also (But not a SHOOOOOOSE also): Baker’s Dozen Challenge: Eat twelve yakitori sticks and get the thirteenth free! And you know everything tastes better free!

Also: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!

[x] She won’t be a health nut for long once you introduce her to the wonders of a deep fat fryer! Just imagine all the possibilities!

It's good to see that I wasn't the only one who had thought of doing this over the summer. What's not so good is that no one new has (I'm looking at you, Mystia, amongst others...).

[x] She won’t be a health nut for long once you introduce her to the wonders of a deep fat fryer! Just imagine all the possibilities!

In the wake of the varied successes of some IRC-run stories, and because I was bored, I decided to see how SHOES! would feel if done on IRC. The absurdity of SHOES! might be better suited to the fast impromptu style of IRC writing anyways, at least that’s what I’m trying to find out. Plus it’s easier for me to write impromptu stuff right now anyways. If the general opinion is that is sucks, I won’t try again. So here’s some lame silliness.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????"

When you last left yourself, you were probably doing something! Oh, yes! You were going to make Mokou unhealthy with deep fat frying, or something! Cleary this will get you her shoes in the long run! It’s a brilliant plan; believe it! Only the savviest of savvy talkers will be able to makes a deep-fried sales pitch to this square! But that’s YOU!
Unfortunately for you, you’ve not planned any further ahead than that! In a matter of seconds you’ve stopped caring about something so difficult, and casually stroll over to the yakitori stand. The silver-haired target of yours is cleaning dishes and doesn’t seem to notice you right away.

>[x] Tell Mokou she missed a spot in her cleaning. A cunning distraction!

Those dishes' cleanliness is shameful! Look, look right there! A smear of chicken grease that she's overlooked! Being the nice girl you are, you inform her forthwith of this error! She peers at the dish intently, then grumbles something about not having enough help around the kitchen. Her mental barriers are down now! You could get away with a lot more, probably!

>[x] Ask if you could help in return for shoes!

Seeing her all alone like that brings a metaphorical tear to your eye. How sad, for a hard-working girl to be all alone. You should be the Good Samaritan and put aside petty grievances! If only you knew what the word Samaritan meant...

>[x] Samaritan means “someone who helps another then steals their shoes while they sleep”.

But why be good when you can be good AND cunning! Helping helpers get help helped out to them! Maybe she’ll reward your kindness with things! Things like shoes! You inform her of a proposition for some part-part-very-part-time assistance. She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly and says…no?! No, she doesn’t need your help?! Outrageous! You remember now! Samaritan means 'someone who helps another then steals their shoes while they sleep'! Ohh, you feel like a Samaritan all right!

>[x] Show determination through BURNING FURY.
>[x] Ninja jump onto counter.
>[x] Take rag.
>[x] Dry dishes whilst flipping over them.

Your fury burns with a BURNING FURY! You don’t care what kind of magic powers this Mokou has, it’s probably nothing like the BURNING FURY you have right now! Unfortunately, it’s somewhat difficult to show BURNING FURY when all you have is a leaky water gun. But that’s not important now! Aided by your BURNING FURY, your shoes jump like a ninja onto the countertop, and take you with them! Pointing a finger filled with BURNING FURY at Mokou you tell her you’re going to clean dishes whether she likes it or not! You snatch a rag from somewhere nondescript and have at those dirty dishes like the real pro that you are! A real ninja wishes they were this awesome! Mokou is exceedingly skeptical of this tomfoolery!

>[x] Wash those dishes like the Dishwasher of the North Star.
>[x] Kick the sink.

Boy, this grease sure is stuck hard onto these plates! But that just means you’ll have to be even harder! Your fist scrubs back and forth like some kind of shiny light in the night sky, maybe to the north! You have no idea if that is awesome or not! But you know what IS awesome? Of course you do, because you’re you! BURNING FURY is what is awesome! However, these plates don’t have enough BURNING FURY to keep up with you! They begin to shatter like old rubber soles, bouncing onto the ground. Mokou probably is shouting at you right now, but you’re in the zone, baby! You display further levels of BURNING FURY by kicking the kitchen sink! Ow, that really hurts, and accomplished nothing! Mokou is now beginning to show the first signs of BURNING FURY herself! Perhaps you should care about that.

>[x] BURNING FURY Shouting match
>[x] It's just like Dragonball!

Mokou’s BURNING FURY appears to be of the SHOUT domain, somewhat at odds to your DISHWASH domain. But you’re no slouch when it comes to shouting, so why not give it a go! The two of you begin to raise quite the ruckus, and nearby onlookers wonder which one of you is more insane. But they don’t have enough BURNING FURY to appreciate just what’s going on here! Your shouts begin to approach critical mass!

>[x]UNLEASH VOLCANIC FURY

A little meter-bar thing at the bottom-left of your mind’s eye tells you that your BURNING FURY has reached 100%! It’s most assuredly nothing like anything someone else may have made to do something like an ultimate attack on the television; you made this up yourself! You have FURY power; USE IT!

ULTIMATE ATTACK GO? Y/N
>[x] Y
Ultimate attack is a go! Think up an awesome name, quickly quickly!
>[x] Sole Survivor!

You can feel the heat welling up inside you, all around you…your vision grows hazy from the massive reserves of BURNING FURY. You’re positive you can see fire all around you; what power you must have inside of you! You begin sweating, and your body starts to hurt, but that can’t possible be from the fire all around you; it’s just the tingling of an ultimate attack! Before you lose your consciousness to the awesome power of BURNING FURY, you ready your shoes and feet for what must come next! After this attack, there’ll only be one Sole Survivor: YOU!!

……
……

You wake up in a pile of rubble and ash. You smell very, very smoky. What happened to your clothes? But at least your shoes are safe!

>[x] check to see if Mokou's shoes are left

Clothes aren’t important right now; victorious shoes are! You crawl around in the pile of debris like a children’s sandbox, sifting through the aftermath of what could only be your ultimate attack. There’s no way that Mokou girl could have done something like this, right? Only you had enough BURNING FURY for an attack like this! Suddenly, success! Amidst a pile of broken ceramic and what might have been a cookie sheet, you spot a sole! There’s no way your eyes could mistake a shoe, even if it’s melted and crispy back like this one is! And there’s the other one too, right where a pair should be: next to it! Seems they’re a bit brittle, but they’re none other than Mokou’s shoes!

VICTORY DANCE? V/N
>[x] V?
V for Very, Very Verily! Specify type of dance.
>[x] Do the Hustle?
>[x] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4BGRDKPzn4

An overwhelming urge to “Do the Hustle” fills you to the brim. Sure, why not? Brushing some of the ash off of you, you stand up and bust some fresh moves. Even after all this, the shoes on your feet are still up to a little dancing. You’ve chosen well with that pair, sure enough! You start to improvise with some epic moves only a low-budget movie with pure heart could match! It feels like your BURNING FURY has been transformed into CANNED HEAT! A small crowd begins to gather from afar, wondering why the devil a naked girl is dancing in the ashes of Mokou’s yakitori stand. You wonder that yourself; you’d better get these shoes to a safe place! You hustle right on out of there, and out of this IRC channel.

MISHON COMPRETE!

Sir, that was quite an enjoyable read. Also, SHOOOOOES!

Naked Shoe Dance?

Cirno!

This little ice fairy thinks she's so great. Whenever you encounter her, she keeps bragging about herself to you, and you just have to nod your head because without the use of hilariousness activated plotonium glands, she probably could beat you up.

But with the use of a cunning plan (this includes any plan to invoke said plotonium glands) you would totally be able to prove yourself superior. That will knock her down a peg.

OPTIONS!!!

[ ] Convince Suwako to wage war on Cirno in order to avenge the lives of all of those frogs she's killed.
[ ] Convince Cirno that she would be colder without her shoes! Shoes provide insulation. It keeps cool temperatures cool and warm temperatures warm. Cirno is colder than most things, therefore she'd really be the coldest if she were to be completely nude most of the time. She'd be stupid enough to not know this. EXPLOIT THIS!
[ ] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!

[ ] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!

>Suzanne!jWWmV9pMH2

Should we know you?

[ ] Convince Cirno that she would be colder without her shoes! Shoes provide insulation. It keeps cool temperatures cool and warm temperatures warm. Cirno is colder than most things, therefore she'd really be the coldest if she were to be completely nude most of the time. She'd be stupid enough to not know this. EXPLOIT THIS!
heh

[X] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!
[X] Two shoes for the price of one pair deal: convince Keine to also educate, forcibly if need be, Suwako. She looks like a kid, so she might as well be one! Hilarity shall ensue when they [i]both[i/i] have their shoes go missing!

>>104798

She wrote the one where we had to steal Medicine's shoes.

[c] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!
[c] Two shoes for the price of one pair deal: convince Keine to also educate, forcibly if need be, Suwako. She looks like a kid, so she might as well be one! Hilarity shall ensue when they both have their shoes go missing!

[X] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!
[X] Two shoes for the price of one pair deal: convince Keine to also educate, forcibly if need be, Suwako. She looks like a kid, so she might as well be one! Hilarity shall ensue when they both have their shoes go missing!

So, I was playing Dragon Age and one of the characters (a bard) started rambling about how much she missed the shoes of her homeland and that laces, soft colors and all that shit that'd drive anyone crazy for shoe. Then I remembered: what's up with the SHOES saga? Dead? Hiatus? Undead?

How, and if you're curious, one of the answers to that shoe-tastic bullcrap was 'You've lost me' Yeah.

[X] Reprise your bureaucratic guise to convince Keine that Cirno needs to be educated. Steal her shoes out of her lockers. No one would notice, or care! Bureaucratic Ninjary!
[X] Two shoes for the price of one pair deal: convince Keine to also educate, forcibly if need be, Suwako. She looks like a kid, so she might as well be one! Hilarity shall ensue when they [i]both[i/i] have their shoes go missing!

You realize that Cirno has never been properly educated. You also realize that you've already managed to convince Keine that you're a bureaucrat. So the answer is obvious: force Cirno to go to school and take her shoes from her locker while she's in class. In fact, there are other childish looking people who you can also force to go to school. Well, you've already stole Rumia's shoes. There's Mystia, but something in the back of your head is saying that she's taken (whatever that means), so no. Suwako? Of course! Besides, Suwako is a frog, and Cirno hates frogs! There's bound to be conflict once their shoes are gone! Then there's Daiyousei. Hmm, that might mess with the conflict, and something else in the back of your head tells you the proper democratic procedures haven't been followed (whatever that means).

RIGHT!

You don your bureaucratic guise and head to the school. You explain to her that there are youths in Gensokyo who have not recieved an education, and the new "No Child Left Behind" requires that you educate them. She counters by saying that Suwako is much older than she looks, as is Cirno.

You look at her, blinking. "You don't think Cirno needs a education?"

"Okay, you're right. But I'd imagine Suwako to be intelligent, I mean she's a goddess."

Damn, you didn't expect her to make a legitimate point. You must come up with a new plan!

>>106599
[x] Do they have high school diplomas? I don't think so! And I would know! I have a high school diploma!
[x] You know who ELSE doesn't have a high school diploma? That Reimu Hakurei! Or that witch! Or the rest of the 9 squad! Or Mokou! Or...
[x] Steal EVERYONE'S shoes.

This cannot go wrong at all.

>>105693

I think it's still going. Owen has been pretty busy. I haven't talked to Unknown Youkai for a while (I won't see him until January). As for the others, I don't know what they're delay is.

As for me, I've been lazy, as normal. Had I not been high, I don't think I would have made the new mission.

[x] Do they have high school diplomas? I don't think so! And I would know! I have a high school diploma!
[x] You know who ELSE doesn't have a high school diploma? That Reimu Hakurei! Or that witch! Or the rest of the 9 squad! Or Mokou! Or...
[x] Steal EVERYONE'S shoes.

Bump for a few reasons:
1) I am NOT dead.
2) I did forget about Wriggle as a member of the 9 squad, so I will include her (if only because this is going WAY too slow). However, I did leave the last vote to open, so I will come back as soon as I come up with some good options.

After thinking about it for what seemed like a few months, you have come up with a plan.

"But don't you think that someone in the Moria Shrine should have a proper Gensokyo education? It's our belief that if one of them has a proper education, she would be willing to pass it on to the others in the shrine."

"Fair enough, but why Suwako, isn't Sanae a teenager?"

"Yes, but she has miko things to do. Suwako, on the other hand, seems to have nothing to do most of the day. Besides, she looks more like the rest of your students."

Keine sighs, "Alright, so are those the only two?"

You pull out some random papers and look at them, as if you're actually double checking, "Oh, one more, Wriggle."

"Fine, when will they be starting?"

"As soon as possible, as soon as possible...." You start laughing manically, only to shortly realize that you're doing so out loud.
"Oh, I'm a bureaucrat, of course I'm going to take pleasure from suffering."

"Uh-huh...."

And now for something completely different...

CHOOSE YOUR GIRL!

[ ] Cirno
[ ] Suwako
[ ] Wriggle

[x] Suwako

SHOES UPDATE

[x] Cirno

THE STRONGEST.

Come back and write again Owen.

>>118639

See >>/sdm/38023

>Gack; this makes me feel horrible. I really do love writing and wish I could write more, but for me it’s a combined issue of available free time and writing momentum. When I write, I write hard, but when I stop, I stop just as hard. Summer work and senior year at the university did a good job killing my muse, and even now that I’m back on break it’s still painfully hard to find the drive to get back up and write again. Plus I’d hate to start a new story only to never finish, or write maybe one short and be unable to write another; that’d just be a horrible troll on my part after a year of inactivity, even if unintended.

>I’ll say that it’s not impossible that I’ll come back and write again. Just don’t expect me to.