You are a 20-year-old young lad. (You don’t know it, but today’s the day you’ll make one of the most important choices in your life.) You live in some generic American city and lead a generic life: single, kinda lonely, and…

[ ] Working an office job. It’s nothing too simple or too hard.
[ ] Working as an independent developer/designer/animator/whatever. You get contracts and then get money.
[ ] Working a white collar job, in which you lead… something of some sort. It’s complicated being a manager of a minor technology company.
[ ] You work a no-collar job. You have the top position of all existing staff at a decent pub. It’s understaffed, but there are hardly ever any fights.

Furthermore, your experience with bullet hells is…

[1] Baka. You are the person who dies three seconds into Icicle Fall (Easy) by standing in the safe spot. If the bullet was a Goomba, you’d always jump into it.
[2] Decent. In a Touhou game, you’d make it to stage 4 without using up all your bombs.
[3] Hardly something to scoff at. Lunatic difficulty and thereabouts are a pain to deal with, still. But you can manage, even if you end up at one health and no bombs.
[4] Phantasm. You can go toe-to-toe with the likes of Gengetsu, Yukari, and Evil Eye Sigma.
[5] Ultimortal. You’ve dealt with nearly-impossible patterns before, and have come out on top. However, a non-Touhou shrine maiden shooting game’s Extra boss is proving to be hopeless…
[6 (locked)] The Guy. You have bested fruit, spike and moon. You can make it through the Absurdly Extra stage of Reactivate Majestical Imperial, if barely. That last spellcard, though... Seriously, that's just mean.
[7 (locked)] reallyjoelsdad. Your skills are second-to-none. You have repeatedly proven that you can indeed outsmart bullet. In fact, you are skilled enough to dodge rain on a sub-atomic level. If and when you die, you’re headed to a bullet heaven.

Your familiarity with the Touhou Project is…

[1] Touhou? Huh?
[2] You mean that one with the girl in the funny dress that gets shot at a lot? The bullet hell shooter?
[3] You’ve played a few of the games.
[4] You’re familiar with the games and the massive fandom.
[5] You could have sworn you saw a crow tengu with a camera flying about just the other day, making a beeline for the presidential candidate. You don’t know if it was Aya, though… (note: it was Aya.)

It is a day like any other. You wake up early (by default,) you have something to eat, and then you realize: it's the weekend! You sit there for ten minutes before you hear the doorbell ring. You open the door and see a tall, leggy, dare you say busty blonde in a purple dress with a shit-eating grin. She looks like she's seventeen, but you're positive she's older than she looks.

The dame claims she's your new next-door neighbor, and wants to invite you into her house. You don't entirely trust her, though. Something's just a little... off about her. You can't recall if someone moved out of the house next to you, because you've been engrossed in your games and work. Choices, choices...

[ ] Follow the mystery girl One-way ticket to Gensokyo
[ ] Decline the offer. You feel much safer back home.

(To recap, your knowledge of Touhou is [1-5], your skill at bullet hells is [1-5] and you work a [office, independent, white-collar, or blue-collar] job.)

Oh, and one more thing... Even if the slightly-creepy lass hasn't given you her name, you should probably introduce yourself. What is your name?