BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4qzII8hse4 (Organ Smash)
… It’s been a few days since Patchouli Knowledge has chewed out Yukari Yakumo. Exactly one week ago, Yukari had brought in yet another gappy, which she personally blasted into Misty Lake.
The Hakurei Shrine is still in lack of a shrine maiden, something that has been weakening the barrier for quite some time. In fact, people have gone missing from Gensokyo… several key figures, in fact.
Aya: “We regret to say that the investigation into the disappearance of Remilia Scarlet has failed to turn up any leads. Furthermore, we have seen a cluster of new people in Gensokyo, each with a personal letter from Yukari. She claims to ‘need a shrine maiden and some investigators.’ Currently, the prisoners are being held at Rin’s office.”
Aya: “Although I think the darned shrine maiden replacement snuck off again. A few of the fairies have reported seeing her making a beeline for the Hakurei Shrine.”

… A few hours later…
You finally regain consciousness. You don’t know how long you’ve been out after that lady punched you in the face. You remember having confronted a girl in purple one moment, and the very next thing you knew, you were in a forest getting punched.
And now you’re in a very dimly lit office. Do they not have electricity here? And where are your captors hiding? Why were you captured? Questions swirl around in your head, lost and confused.
Wait... there’s the dim glow of a television here.
???: “This is Aya, bringing you a special news report. The wicked hermit Seiga has been dead next to the corpse of one Adolf Hitler. Her last words were, according to Nazrin, ‘The body – it’s too warm!’ We all mourn her passing.”
Aya… now that’s a name you’ve heard before. Didn’t she have some… choice words about Donald Trump? And did she just say Hitler? As you think, you hear a door open.
???: “Would you please come in? I can take the next stranger.”
… Nobody orders you around. But just as you think that, you feel something give you a strong push.
Quoth the feminine voice, “Parsee, thank you for escorting him in.” You hear a meaty THWACK behind you as the door shuts behind you. You are now locked in a room with a red-headed dame in a black dress, currently fiddling with the blinds. There is an empty seat inviting you to sit down, but after being manhandled like that, you don’t really feel like sitting down.
You could have sworn you saw a tail on that girl in the fedora, who is now facing you.
???: “Now, who are you?”
You are…
[x] Guy Noir, private eye. You are an American who was hired by a Mr. James Dean to keep an eye out for “a woman clad in purple” and chased her to a school in Kyoto.
[x] Tyler Fredricks, police officer from Germany. You have been chasing the gap hag ever since she took your little sister. You were born to American parents.
[x] Tsubaki, a Japanese student and the second member of the newly-reformed Ghostly Field Club. You resent the disappearance of your friend Hina Narukaze, of which you blame on “the girl of violet.”
[x] John McFaraday, a scholar of Eastern religions from England. You traveled to Japan in search of a run-down shrine but were rudely interrupted by a firefight. Next thing you knew, you were in a forest.
[x]George Threepwood, former South Korean Air Force commander and master gamer. You were contacted by Guy Noir because he had a feeling that this might be the work of one Yukari Yakumo and somehow wound up on this adventure.
-[x] Try to pass yourself off as one of the other people. [insert other selection]

No write-ins, sorry.