[x] Swan dive. Just need to find something tall enough to pull it off. Top of the book shelves, maybe?

— - — - —

While she said to get on, she wasn't too clear about how I should, y'know... do that. So, not wanting to make her waste her breath in a surprisingly literal sense, I set about climbing up one of the big shelves—

"Do not dirty the shelves." Couldn't see it in time, but I heard the wheeze before I could turn my head. "Koa, a ladder." Here I was trying not to use a ladder. Jeez, talk about rude...

Giving her seemingly forced master an odd look, the redhead made short work of playing fetch, what with the ladder simply being at the other end of the shelf. Sure, the shelf was freakishly long, but still better than the other end of the freakishly large library, wings or no.

With my bout of desire to get a kick out of Patches met with the great help that was a ladder, I set about climbing it. At the top, I made sure the shelf looked sturdy, and got on.

Ko looked at me like I was an idiot, and Patches looked on with curiosity.

Or, that's what I figured, anyways. The height reminded me of a high dive more than I'd like. Still, ain't gonna leave any room for being called a chicken, so I'll just have to nip that in the bud. Sure, it would be something brought on by backing down for a dumb joke, and sure, maybe I might regret doing this in about ten seconds, but ehh.

Still, I took the position, and Patches' eyes lit up with recognition, Ko's looking more along the line of worried horror.

The latter of which egged me on, of course.

When I hit the bubble, I had about a second to be reminded of diving into the shallow end of the pool. The jelly slowed me, but—



Woke up with a splitting headache and feeling like a pretty ill-equipped bride. Looked up, finding it to be Ko that was carrying me, and that we were outside by this point. She seemed to notice my sour look, as I kinda had a front row seat to her letting out a sigh. Felt the wind through my hair in two ways, up from one, and felt the road get just that much bumpier.

Was only now that I noticed she didn't have as much motion in the ocean as you'd expect of someone dripping even half as much sex appeal as she was.

But, sadly, that silent walk didn't last. "Master, she's awake."

"Ohh, good." Looked over to my instructor in time for her to take a deep one; she seemed like she was about to say quite a bit. "While I appreciate idiotic antics as much as the next magician, please refrain from cracking your skull open until I have completed my efforts to drill magic into your head." Two, three, four. Aaand five.

"Patches, ya don't gotta say it all in one go, y'know. Look about ready to keel over after that."

Letting out a faint snort, she didn't respond for a bit, instead opting to breathe a bit more. Six, seven. "Koa, you may toss her." Eight. "She will learn in the best way I can come up with, when such ineptitude is involved.

It was only then that I realized that we ran out of ground to be walking across. Now, instead, was the great fall into that too-red sea before us, and less of the edge of that sheer cliff under us than I'd like.

'Course, that didn't matter much, as I was falling before I really had time to do much about it. Was a doozy, too.

— - — - —

Limit: 1

[ ] Try to control the fall. I remember hearing on the boob tube that one could go faster by minimizing drag, but the reverse and more is also true. Can you say parachute?
[ ] Try to soften the impact. There's water down there, but water ain't so soft all the time. Gotta try to soften that landing as best I can, trying to avoid belly flopping.
[ ] Try to avoid the rocks. There's water down there, but also rocks. Maaay be a good idea to do my best to avoid those.
[ ] Try to grab the side. There's a bit of roots or a branch or something sticking out. Kirisame Marisa ain't nobody's fool, and I ain't gonna go down without even a try to stop it.

[x] Soften the impact. There's water down there, but water ain't so soft all the time. Gotta soften that landing as best I can, avoiding a big ol' belly flopping.

— - — - —

I could've slowed my fall and risked my landing, but I didn't. I could've grabbed at the side and risked losing control of my fall, but I didn't. I could've tried to avoid the rocks, but risk my landing and control, but I didn't. I didn't do a lot of things.

No, there's only one thing I could do; one thing to ensure that this goes right.

And so I didn't do anything fancy. I didn't slow down, and instead straightened out into a dive. I didn't grab at the side, and instead closed my eyes. I didn't avoid anything, and instead, well... hoped, I guess. I hoped and held my breath.

I didn't cut or fade to black or white or stars or anything, but instead make like a sewing needle and just punch clean through the surface. I didn't hit the bottom, as I wasn't wearing concrete apparel, but slowed down somewhere obviously in between in and the top.

I dared to open my eyes, but dared not risk my breath. I ain't about to risk dying over an assumption that my affinity would save me. I got this far without relying on others. Well, not truly relying, anyways.

And, all around me, everything was just... clear. Red, but clear. I could see so far, and see so deep.

I saw someone below, on the bottom of that red sea. Wasn't especially deep, but did I wanna risk it?

— - — - —

[ ] Swim up and away.
[ ] Swim down and towards.

[38] Swim down and towards.

— - — - —

Y'know that thing called common sense that says swimming down's not a good idea when you might have to worry about breathing and such? Yeah, I think it's a good time to tell it to stuff it.

That fairly one-sided internal conflict over with in record time, I swam down like the fool I was. While the water was crystal clear, or at least as crystal clear as the deep red of it could be, I couldn't make out the first thing about the figure. Was it a man or a woman?

I just hoped it didn't try to kill me. Things seem to enjoy doing that these days. What is it, national murder your human at school week? ...Actually, y'know what? I'd prefer that, as then I'd be off the hook the rest of the year.

When I neared the figure, I realized that I was looking at a very familiar face.

No, it wasn't mine; I only abandoned my wisdom, not gulped down every pill in the medicine cabinet. Was Patches. What she was doing down here was beyond me, but she certainly wasn't dead, even if she had every right to be. I mean, if I just ignored magic as a valid answer, I'd be real concerned about her passing out about now, but she seemed more like she was waiting.

Looked happy, too. Was lookin' my way, so I was hoping she was happy with me.

She motioned me closer, so I came closer. She flipped open her book, took a deep breathe, and spoke. Or I assumed she spoke, as there were bubbles coming out, not words. Maybe she just wanted to die or something? Who knows.

Anyways, wasn't long before I realized the bubbles weren't goin' up, but stopping a short ways up above us in a great bubble. Not another moment later, the thing burst, and the rock below her shifted, some sorta green stone pushing up into a sort of seat. A couch, or a loveseat or something. Might even call it a bench straight out of a real fancy park, as I recognized the stone. Wasn't just green rocks or even jade.

It was goddamned emerald! Uncut emerald, but emerald all the same.

She slowly flopped to one side of it, what with being under the sea as she was. She patted next to herself, so I joined her, sitting in that emerald chair. She tapped me on the shoulder with her book in obvious offer, and I accepted it. Looking over the cover, I realized that it was way too dark to read, so looked her way again.

Rolling her eyes, she spun her finger in a circle, an orb of light appearing in the middle. Was a small ball of the purest brightness, shining more than any bulb and boiling the water around it more than any flame should. Neat parlor trick, if there ever was one. ...Not sure if I'd want to ever actually handle the thing, though. After all, it was boiling the water in an instant, and I could only imagine what it'd do to me.

Still, it did supply enough light to read the title: 0.006 Leagues Under the Sea

When I gave Patches a real odd look, she silently giggled, or at least shook like it. Was odd imagining her giggling, so I figured it was more like a chuckle. However, she seemed to take my look as a question, and then tapped the number, pointed up, pointed down, and then held her hand sideways and moved it between two points up and down a few times. Finally, she dragged her finger under the title.

...Think she's saying we're 0.006 leagues under the sea? How the hell big even is a... league...

...Wait.

Why aren't my lungs burning? I've not been down here for anything I'd call a short amount of time.

And then she snapped her fingers, the water around us rushing away and leaving the inside of a surrounding on all sides. "So you've realized."

Gave a nod, answering, "Yeah, I should have needed air by now."

One. "Yes, you certainly should have." Two. "It was my intent to distract you well enough that you might potentially..." Three, four. "...forget that you couldn't breathe." Five. "Of course, I expect such a thing would be impossible any other day." Six, seven.

"So, what now?"

Eight. "Now you read the book, of course." Nine. "It is no ordinary book, as you might imagine." Ten. "I want you to finish it by friday, so I might..." Eleven. "...gauge your ability in a less subconscious of manners." Twelve. "Not to mention when you are at your second best." Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.

Gave her another odd look, free of charge. "So... that's it?"

"That's it, yes."

"Three hours, huh?"

"I may have miscalculated." Sixteen. "Be that as it may, it leaves you time to read, at the very least." Seventeen, eighteen.

— - — - —

[ ] Maybe spend some time with Patches anyways? Might as well read while you're down here. Real quiet, so it'd be easy.
[ ] After figuring out how the heck you're getting back up, go read in your room. Time with your favorite butt burglar's always well spent.
[ ] Cafeteria's probably real quiet this early, and breakfast is one class you'd not mind showing up early for.
[ ] How about the library? Because, y'know... library.
[ ] Screw this; I need sleep. I can read it later.

[39] Maybe spend some time with Patches anyways? Might as well read while you're down here. Real quiet, so it'd be easy.

— - — - —

"Don't suppose I could get a table? Like, a coffee table, height of the chair?"

She gave me an odd look, which I'd be adding to my collection, no doubt. "Very well." Clearing her throat, she started to incant, though this time there was no water to block the sound of it, not that it changes much: everything she was blabbing about was french to me. And, just like before, yet more emerald pushed through the ground as if it was actually supposed to work that way, and I'd just been grounding wrong this whole time.

Was a simple table, or maybe it'd be more accurate to call it a giant brick. Didn't have legs or nothin', but still was gonna serve its purpose plenty good. After all, when you got a book, you need to get comfortable. Greasin' the gears, or however the butt munch would put it.

So, that said, I kicked my feet up on the table.

Patches gave me the all but agreed upon odd look, and asked, "Did... you want a table for the express purpose..." One, two. "...of rudely resting your shoes on it?" Three, four.

"Sure did!" And, like that oddest of looks, I handed over a cheeky grin of my own. Good deal, if I do say so myself.

She stared a while, before she started shaking with the slightest ghost of a laugh. "Incredible lengths to go to for humor." Five. Seems even that ghastly laugh left her rubbing her throat a bit, though.

Gave her another grin. What can I say? I'm a good tipper! "What can I say? I'm pretty incredible!"

All this got was an exaggerated roll of her eyes, her head following it down that dark path. She was chuckling, however, even if it soon turned into a little coughing fit, so I took that as a bit of a win. Patches occupied with choking to death, I looked at the book again, finding a new and exciting book cover greeting me. Or, at least, the title was different.

Hydromancy for Dummies

...Cute, book. Real cute.

Flipping open the book, I found that the table of contents was fairly straightforward. Although, the number of chapters seemed extremely suspect, considering the length and that it skipped so many numbers.

— - — - —

[ ] Chapter 1: So you want to create a big splash, do you?
[ ] Chapter 2: How to properly jump in puddles.
[ ] Chapter 3: An introduction to Hydromancy.
[ ] Chapter 4: Unreasonably more advanced lesson.
[ ] Chapter 47: Curiosity killed the cat.

[40] Chapter 3: An introduction to Hydromancy.

— - — - —

I set about finding the page listed, which was 200 pages in, oddly enough. Stranger still, most of the pages before it were blank, if numbered. Finally finding the page in question, I got straight into it, burying my nose in it as deep as I could without risking becoming a nerd on the spot.

...Then again, considering the subject and the importance, might not be the worst idea to nerd out about now.

Chapter 3: Hydromancy and You

As you obviously must realize from when you most certainly didn't skip straight to things that attract that goldfish-like attention span of yours, there are a great many more things to hydromancy than hydromancy itself, and that is the most important distinction one must make. Unlike simpler elements, hydromancy has both a lower floor and a far, far higher ceiling on what you can do.

From the low of the low that is drawing usable air from water, to the highest of highs being beyond even this more basic book's comprehension, the levels vary greatly. However, that said, to a skilled hydromancer, anything with even the faintest traces of water in it is not only a tool, but also a weapon. Flowers turned rigid as steel and used in murder, one's own bodily fluids being used to make a puppet of one's self, and even turning a forest baren and dead with but a motion are the things one can look forward to, should they seek it.

However, before any of that can be decided, there are a great many other problems one must find answers for. While you may have little choice on the ideology due to the teacher in question, there is the more important question of methodology left on the table. There are more universal methods to power magic, such as the ever exciting exhaustion, or the ever so risky tapping of one's own soul or longevity, but there are other, much more practical methods, too. For instance, blood is a fairly common fuel, as are intense emotions. While blood, and virgin blood in particular, are universal methods, there is a very simple, as well as very obvious reason as to why it is especially helpful to hydromancy: water.

While raw emotions are helpful, that is closer to the territory of fire, which is at odds with water, making for less effective a method. However, you can quite literally put all your blood, sweat and tears into developing hydromancy.

Of course, there is another side to magic, as there always are in any field. Or so I presume. I am a magic book, not a science text book, after all. But, back on topic, closer to the siphoning of one's soul or the souls of others, there is sacrifice. If one sacrifices a bodily function that pertains to a particular element (i.e. tear ducts, bladder, sweat glands, or even blood cells or the heart. (Of course, surviving is increasingly difficult without, but there are ways around this.))

Yet another way is the method that Ms. Knowledge goes about things, invoking spirits and particularly attractive demons alike. Well, just the one, really. One demon, that is. Plenty spirits, however.

— - — - —

[ ] Turn to page 203 if you have an open mind and actually wish to learn about other ideologies that aren't pure elementalism.
[ ] Turn to page 244 if you are boring and want to be tuckered out.
[ ] Turn to page 257 if you are interested in putting your soul into.
[ ] Turn to page 258 if you are interested in burning the candle from both ends.
[ ] Turn to page 262 if you want to put that virginity to good use.
[ ] Turn to page 276 if you have emotional baggage and want to work them out on others.
[ ] Turn to page 280 if you have a thing for peeing and sweating people to death. Please don't, however.
[ ] Turn to page 281 if you want to make great sacrifices to advance the art.
[ ] Turn to page 284 if you want to do unmentionable things with demons. Because why would you not want to?
[ ] Turn to page 389 if you want to be a less dead Patchouli.
[ ] Turn to a random page deeper still with another idea in mind if you think you know better than I.

[41] Turn to page 203 if you have an open mind and actually wish to learn about other ideologies that aren't pure elementalism.

— - — - —

"...Hey, Patches?"

Cutting the liveliest part of her to me, the sickly girl asked, "Yes?"

"Is this book, like... y'know..." I felt a little crazy asking the question, but in for a penny and all that. "Well, talking to me?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, it is."

...Y'know what? I'm just gonna ignore that bit. I have a more important question after that revelation. "Okay, quick question: how the hell does this book know I'm a virgin?"

Before Patches could begin to answer, I felt uncomfortably feminine hands grasp my shoulders from behind. Normally that'd not be an issue, but considering the fact that we're at the bottom of what looks like an ocean of blood, if it isn't Ko, I'd have way bigger problems.

Of course, it is Ko, which I'm more than a little irritated at being thankful for, even if only due to the alternative being less than appealing in its mystery.

Voice smooth as silk and teasing as can be, she pointed out, "Why, of course it's obvious!" I could practically smell the shit-eating grin. "You positively stink of cherries..."

I took that moment to peek over my shoulder, keeping a scowl on my face. Normally I'd toss it her way, but no way, no how am I giving it to her. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

Patchouli chucked an irritated look at Ko's head like a scornful rock, before her eyes refocused their efforts on better places, which is to say myself. "Her kind have a way of telling things such as that."

I traded my scowl for an odd look. "Her kind?"

Ko answered, as if it were obvious, "Why, I'm a succubus, plain and simple." Then why did the book know?

...Ehh. More important to jab back. "So... you're a slut."

"As much as you are." With that said, Ko punctuated her retort with a huff.

Those words gave me pause. Had to roll them around on my tongue a bit to get at all the intricacies and flavors. When I finally swallowed them down my gullet, I responded, "Man, you really must suc as a cubus..."

The two of them stared at me, Ko looking like she was trying (and failing) to get upset, where as Patches was purely amused, which turned into a full-blown chuckle not long after. Of course, Ko's scowl starting to crumble when she started to snicker, before that emotional cork finally popped free when she began giggling. I'd never say it out loud, but it was a pretty cute giggle, too. Not cute like Nitori's giggle-snorting, but like watching the hottest girl in school pick her nose or some such while she thinks she's alone.

...Back on topic, I still didn't like the giggler even with that mental image in mind.

Deciding to cut my purely internal losses while I was ahead, I turned to page 203, Patches starting to cough as I read. Ko gets points for patting Patches on the back, though, even if it's hard to say if she was made to do it or not.

Chapter 4: Unreasonably More Advanced Lesson

Well, aren't you a bundle of surprises. Then again, you could also just be a curious one. Either way, good on you for seeking knowledge, whatever your intentions may be in doing so. That said, this will be by no means a complete lesson, but we can continue the lesson another time, if you have more specific requests. Very little of this will be truly useful to you after all, as your teacher is a true elementalist, pure in her... sub-optimal ways. You see, the problem of being a jack of all trades is that you have little room for mastery. If we were to give magic a letter grade system (which isn't a terrible idea, honestly) you would call her a straight B student.

Your grade, however, would be pure F's, but with a single D in swimming class.

Yes, I know, you are but a girl born of man. However, excuses are excuses, and though yours is excusable, that is not something you would be wise to tell another by choice. Furthermore, we are here to fix that, yes? And so, as you proclaim yourself a witch, let me cover more witchly focuses, two of which you may well be able to work with even at your power level.

Chapter 4.1: Witching Hour

Witches have a longer history than salem and trials. Not that a single witch was victim to such trials, at least not in salem, and rarer still with expectation of them actually being one. As was said, a witch worth her salt would surely have survived all such tortures, if she was expecting them. Key word: if. But proper witches are never not wise, and wisdom dictates to not stay among a populous executing so-called witches, no matter how unlikely witches being victimized in such a way would actually be. You see, magic requires a degree of intellectual pursuit for those less monster than man. More likely than hooked noses and warts, you would instead see those who time forgets, ever beautiful and vibrant. Witches are more often akin to overbearing grandmother dispensing cookies than the expected old crone that would rather a taste of Hansel and Gretel.

Which isn't to say that hooked noses and warts aren't a thing that witches can suffer from. Warts are, however, easily treated, what with witches being skilled alchemists. Likewise, a hooked nose is easily bent into a more preferable shape less akin to a lumpy, bumpy banana, as many witches seek transformative magics so as to never worry of death.

Now, brooms are simple enough to make; even you could, with a proper teacher capable in the subject. There are many ways to get a broom in the air, but that is no ideology. Instead, those are aforementioned methodologies, though not quite as you saw them used. For instance, one way you could attempt to use for such a feat would be runic magic, though such things are often derived from other sorts, such as inscribing blood into them. Which, I will say, would be a... largely safe practice. A saguinomancer, however, may break into a lengthy monologue berating you for your foolishness, all while cackling madly and claiming you a fool.

But that's getting off topic, not to mention into rant territory. That said, next on the list is alchemy. Modern alchemy is watered down and used by ordinary humans. Chemistry may lack the vital magics that make alchemy what it is, but if you become a chemist, an alchemist is but a chemist with a liberal application of magic and the correct materials for the job.

Last on the list of traditional witches, you have hexes and curses. These things are certainly similar in ways, but going over that difference would be a lesson unto itself. However, to put it simply, curses are fueled by emotion, and hexes are more methodical. Spite, rage and vitriol are the things to popularize curses, and hexes are more clear and deliberate in their focus. One can be cursed to death, but hexes will not do so quite so easily. Curses typically have their fair share of permanency, though are usually poorly thought out. After all, who would ever kiss a frog?

Hexes have none of that stupidity to them. One could say that the difference is that there is no emotion in the pot to spoil the spell, even. Curses being twisted by the emotional baggage of the caster, whereas hexes are spun by the wicked intents.

Patches cleared her throat, and I found that she was tapping her wrist when I looked to her. "It is time we go." One. "Do not bother saving your place; it will not matter."

Gave her a nod, letting the book close with that clappy-slapping of paper only a hardback can pull off. "Sure thing, Patches." That said, I kicked my feet up off of the wastefully made table, and took to standing. "Although, how're we gonna get back up?"

"We fly."

"...Fly?"

"Fly."

Gave her an odd look, as she'd earned her paycheck with that one. "I don't know how to fly."

"I wasn't intending personal flight." Two. "Just be patient." With that, she stood and took out some chalk. She drew a circle around the edges of the bubble, then weird geometric squiggles that probably had meaning beyond looking pretty. Giving her handiwork a once over, she put away the chalk, and began chanting like before. Her words were, well... words. Loud, echoing words, as if she were commanding a cave to do her bidding. And, as the lengthy gibberish spewed from her mouth, the ground below us shook, the weird art carving into the ground as if the chalk was suddenly turned into acid.

Or, at least, I thought it was carving into the ground. It took me all of two seconds to notice that the ground outside of the inner circle of runes(?) was rapidly growing distant. It wasn't until we left the water that I realized we were going goddamn fast to boot, as we were already at the edge of the cliff when it dawned on me.

Shrugging, I said, "Guess this is my stop, huh?"

Letting out a ghost of a chuckle, Patches confirmed, "Quite." Taking a three in preparation, she continued, "I will see you on Friday morning. Otherwise, if you have need, you may find me at... room 307 of... of the dorms." Four, five, six.

"Y'know, as I keep tellin' you, ya really don't gotta be all wordy. If ya gotta breathe, just take the damned breath."

Shaking her head, before taking another seven and eight, she stated, "Koa needs them far more than I."

It took a few moments of her looking at me with a face that looked almost at home above Ko's schnoz, but when I finally got the joke, I couldn't not laugh at that. "Good one, Patches."

While Ko just rolled her eyes, Patches smiled, motioning me to go. Returning it with the interest that is a nod, I headed on, though took the time to peek at the side of our stony steed. Turned out it was a column that looked to be sticking out of the water, maybe even connected to that circle at the bottom still. That bout of curiosity sated, I considered my options, or the lack thereof. I could head straight to class, but I had a sneaking suspicion that I'd see turtle butt back at the dorm, and knew she was gonna be wringing her hands and fretting. 'Cause, seriously, why wouldn't she? The squishy human just went off with a bitch and a witch, which tends to be a good reason to worry, no matter if you're a butt sucker or what.

Heading for the dorms, I glanced to the clocktower, finding a thankful amount of early. Had plenty of time to work with, so I could take a shower and all that. Sure, I'm not what I'd call a germaphobe, but when it comes to smelling edible or not, I'd rather smell like shampoo. 'Cause, seriously, I just know someone other than my friend wants to take a chunk out of my ass.

Passing by a familiar face, I said, "Yo, Suika."

"Yo, whatever your name was~" ...Never seen someone so cheerfully say something like that.

"Marisa. Name's Marisa."

"Ohh, right!" She rubbed the back of her head, clearly a little embarrassed. "Yo, Marisa~" She gave a lazy wave, obviously wanting to keep to a waving budget.

Couldn't help but chuckle after that short bout of interaction, but kept heading for our room regardless. We were kinda in one of the first rooms, so it was hardly difficult to find, and only took so long because of all the distractions.

Testing the knob, and finding it unlocked, I peeked in.

And then the door was flung open, and I was tackled into the hall to a chorus of cries from the other girls. "You're okay!" Had a faceful of turtle butt. ...Well, the face-end, not that butt straight out of legend.

"Well, yeah."

"And not dead!"

"...Well, yeah?" Seriously, why the distinction?

Gave a yelp when she dragged me back into the room, as her being strong was more than a little surprising, given past experience. "Okay, now that you're done with that, you're explaining to me whatever the heck you're up to."

Gave a shrug, as she deserved that and more. "Well, I was kinda looked at all pretty-like by a succubus, had to kick sense into her via the ass, and was saved by some sorta elementalist mage type? After that, she was all like 'be there or be square,' and as I ain't no square, I was there. She was gonna gimme magic lessons, but it turned out that was too much effort for her weary bones, so she gave me this here sarcastic spell book." Helpfully waved the thing, before continuing, "And then I sat at the bottom of the ocean for a while reading up on witches and how sexy demons apparently are, not that this is news to me, even if it 'is' Ko."

She nodded along all the while, though grew increasingly blatant in her confusion along the way. "Wait, wait. Back up. What was that about the ocean?"

"Y'know that red water all around the island?" At least, I think it's an island. Not exactly checked, after all.

"...Yeah." She had that 'I'm not gonna like where this is going' look on her face.

"Well, Patches dropped me off the cliff."

"The hell?"

"'Course, I had to think fast to avoid the rocks below."

"The hell??"

"So I made like a swan and dove."

"...Into jagged rocks?!"

"Nah. Turned out Patches' bitch had better aim than that."

"Ohh."

"Still, doing the only reasonable thing, I swam down."

"Why??"

"Well, 'cause I saw someone down there."

"And what gave you the idea that it seemed like a good idea to say hi? What if it was a kappa or a mermaid or something?"

"Mermaid?"

"Yeah, they suck life out of people, aging them in an instant."

Shuddered a bit at the thought of my roguish good looks going to someone only good at sucking. "Well, wasn't either. Turned out to be Patches again."

"Wait, wasn't she at the top?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"And she beat you there?"

"Sure did."

She let out a long sigh, before asking, "And you just... swam to her and, what? She put a bubble on your head and hoped for the best?"

Shook my head. "Nah, I could breathe just fine before she mentioned I could breathe."

She blinked a few times, before asking, "You breathed water?"

"Yeah."

"...Safely."

"Think so, yeah."

"...Good job, Marisa." She went from playing 20Q to a happy smile in an instant. And then she hugged me again, though far less painfully, if only by comparison to tackling the shit out of me.

Got me a little red in the ears, too. "Hey, now... Didn't I already say I'm a witch?"

"A shit witch."

"Nah, that's a crappy sandwich."

Rolling her eyes, she just said, "Stop ruining the moment."

Got me laughing. "Yes'm." Had to pile on the sarcasm as best I could just to be sure she didn't think that serious.

"Still, good job, Marisa." That big smile returned to her face. "Most humans don't have the balls to try."

Gave a shrug, retorting, "Most humans ain't as cool as your truly, now are they?"

She started giggling. "I guess they aren't, are they? Still, glad you can at least do that much. You're going to get me all misty eyed if you do much more."

Was now my turn to roll my eyes. "Ohh, shut up. You know book learning ain't my style."

Was her turn again. "Yeah, well, you can't just punch all your problems away."

"I mean, it's worked surprisingly well so far."

"It won't work forever. Even less if you give the wrong guy a nut shot."

"Like Unzan?"

"Like Unzan." Damn NYUDOU.

Chuckling, I said, "Anyways, you gonna keep busting my ribs, or you gonna let me go and shower? 'Cause I'd say I have all day for some turtle huggin', but I kinda don't?"

Sighing, she let me go. "Sorry. Was just glad you were okay is all."

"It's fine, it's fine. Just don't forget that I like my ribs in one piece and we're cool."

Got me a roll of the eyes. "I wonder why?"

Gave her a shrug, answering, "One of the great mysteries, ain't it? Anywho, I'mma go take a shower while I have the time.

"Yeah, yeah... just don't go getting distracted by dunking your head in the tub."

"Honestly, that sounds more like a you thing."

"Sh-shut up." Got a huff for my troubles. "Just get going, you." Heh. Still adorable when she gets all red in the face.

Headed off in good spirits, chuckling the whole way, no matter how short it was. 'Course, I guess I should probably change out what bandages I've got, huh? Had to rummage around a bit, but eventually found what I was looking for, and set about the gruesome task of looking at myself in the mirror.

Yup. Still flat as a pancake.

Ohh, and I had some scabs and bruises spread out here and there. Still, plenty of them looked like they'd be just fine not being bound like some sorta mummy, so I only redressed the ones that needed it, and only after bathing. Kiiinda would defeat the point, doing it now.

Although, it did make me realize that covering scabs might be a good idea, what with the whole vampire friend and all.

...Ehh. Flan seems harmless enough. Won't say anything even if she did find out, right? 'Sides, not like she'd bite me, and even if she would, what are the odds that just one bite would be all it'd take? Obviously there's gotta be more to it than that, after all.

Then again, she's my friend now. Could just, y'know, ask for the deets and hope she doesn't go all birds and bees on me.

That in mind, I got dressed again and grabbed up my stuff. No homework yet, thankfully, but I was left with a couple options, and my belly was rumbling for a particular one.

— - — - —

[ ] Go grab some breakfast. Gonna have to chow down, so probably won't be late if I don't go pussyfooting around more witchy things.
[ ] Head to homeroom. Extra time with Flan's never a bad thing, right?
[ ] Write-in.

[42] Head to homeroom. Extra time with Flan's never a bad thing, right?

— - — - —

"Can it, stomach. Got a date with a worm." Not that I want to be an early bird, but hey, at least I'd get to eat that. ...Not that I'd want to to chow down on a worm. Still, guess I'll fill my belly up on learning? ...Not that I'm a fan of that either; kinda tastes like books. Books ain't the tastiest of meals, y'know? Pretty sure even a bookworm like Patches would agree there. Girl must be poundin' the things back like there's no tomorrow, and look what it got her. Can't even breathe right.

Still, tangents can wait.

I started heading for class, waving to the buttmunch as I was on the way. "See ya later, buttmunch."

"Are you... feeling alright, Marisa?" With a strange look plastered on her face, she reached for my forehead wait what how is her arm reaching so far— Okay, that's just silly.

"I feel fine, Freddy Krueger."

"Ohh, shut up. And, seriously; out of all the things you could say, you pick a reference to an 80's horror movie??"

"Well, do you know anyone else with freaky arms?"

She was silent for a while, before saying, "Stretch Armstro-" She shook out her head. "Wait, stop sidetracking me. You? Going to class this early?"

Gave her a shrug, as I had so many spare. "Would you believe me if I said I'd not go to class unless my life depended on it?" Grinned nice and wide at the long groan that eked out of her. "Still, I do kinda like that whole 'not dying horribly and violently' thing, y'know? Won't be so lucky every time."

Retracting her disturbingly fleshy gadget extendo arm and extending the other side to its normal not-so-freakishness, she relented, "Alright, alright; you've got me there. Just go already."

Gave another wave. Round 2: fight! "See ya, ass burglar."

She rolled her eyes, retorting, "Bye, asshole."

Left in high spirits and with a good chuckle at my side. Making my way boldly where no man has ever gone before, I fought through the ceaseless hordes of the scant few students who were bothering to be this early. Okay, fine; it wasn't a horde, but instead more like a gaggle at best. Maybe a bunch? Still, they weren't exactly people I recognized, so none really hassled or hounded me. Not even any dogs around to do it right! ...Well, probably; can't exactly tell, y'know?

Wasn't long at that bored, uninterrupted pace before I was finally at the classroom. Unsurprisingly, few were here. Surprisingly, Flan wasn't one of 'em. Even more surprisingly, Unzan actually was.

Worst.

Delinquent.

Ever.

Seriously, he gives us a bad name, showing up early for class. Sure, there was the attempted maybe-rape, but otherwise he's not lived up to what little badassery, or even the assery proper, that I knew of him.

That said, the complete lack of anything to do gave me reason to fix that.

— - — - —

[ ] Taunt the cloud dude. What a chump! What a dweeb! Sure, he could make a fine red mist out of me I'll bet, but still. Gotta posture.
[ ] Maybe I'll actually bother looking at my fellow classmates for once. Sure, only a few are here, but still.
[ ] Yeah, no. Let's read. Sure, my spotless reputation will be polished a little clean by it, but I kinda like not dying.

[43] Scan the classroom and see who's here and what they're doing and are like before deciding anything.

— - — - —

To the front, opposite of where Flan and me typically would be sitting, I spot a silver-haired girl with a hairstyle that looks as sharp as the sword at her hip. Seriously, I feel like I'd get papercuts just by running my hand through it. That said, she's also as cute as a button and seems to be concentrating/meditating/sleeping intensely.

More in a position I'd prefer to be in, which is to say towards the back of the room, you have miss... kinda bland, honestly. Save for the red ribbon and matching red napkin holders, anyways. Never thought the things would be used in a fashion statement, but hey, runway models are as much comedy as fashion. 'Course, she's sleepin' like a baby. A kinda pissed baby, but a baby's a baby.

And next to Napkins, there's a weird girl who looks like she hasn't slept in weeks. She looks about as pale as a ghost and has extremely unsuiting twintails. Also seems to be texting like crazy on an old flip phone, looking more than a little bored.

There's also Unzan, I guess.

— - — - —

[ ] Think I'll run my hand through the samurai chick's hair. Seriously, how can I resist checking if I get paper cuts??
[ ] Ask Napkins about her hair crap. You've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?
[ ] Get the creepy twintail girl's number! What? It's a great chance to lower the number of people murderizing my face.
[ ] There's also Unzan, I guess.

[44] Think I'll ask Napkins about her hair crap. I've never seen someone rock napkin holders, but they're kinda cool?

— - — - —

"Hey, Napkins!" Slapped my hand down on the sleepy brunette's desk, startling the rest of the room more than I startled her.

Her even breaths cease and instead abruptly become a lopsided inhale, before she allows it to equalize once more in something imitating a grand sigh. I say imitating as it's a pretty pale (not to mention lazy) imitation of one. Still, that grandly lacking sigh through, she peeks an eye open, looking up at me like I'm some sorta nuisance or some such. Imagine that! Me, a nuisance? "What?"

"Was wondering about the hair things you're wearin'! Look like napkin holders, y'know?" I give her my best grin, getting the sneaking suspicion that she's considering forcing it down my throat.

"They're accessories."

"No shit. What sort, though? 'Cause you can call a napkin holder an accessory if you rock it well enough, but it don't make it one, y'know?"

Letting out another grandly lacking sigh, she takes her time and stretches, fingers laced and held at length over her head. Next she stretches out her neck, clearly trying to shake the crack right out of it by the noisy sounds it's letting off. "Hair tubes."

"Hair tubes?"

"Swhat I said, yeah."

What the heck even is that? "What, like one of those metal band ponytail things or something?"

"...Yup." Now she's cracking out her knuckles a bit intimidatingly. Mostly because it reminds me of the crazy gym teacher, so it could be completely innocuous for all I knew.

Woman could give anyone a phobia of cracking joints, honestly.

"You don't like talkin' much, huh?"

"Nope."

"Makes me wonder what it'd take to get you to gab on, honestly."

"Specific things." She lets out a long yawn, not bothering to cover it up like some dainty old lady.

She doesn't look like no dainty lady.

Reminds me of the worse side of home. The side full of my kinda people. Unzan kinda people, but way more womanly.

— - — - —

But how to get her to talk?
[ ] Discuss what Unzan would look like were he a woman.
[ ] Talk about the way the silver-haired warrior chick was totally napping, even if she wasn't.
[ ] Wonder aloud and at her as to what the twin-tailed creepy girl's texting about.
[ ] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.

[45] "What sorta specific things?" Seems boring to ask, but she seems bored enough to answer.

— - — - —

Well, I could do something silly, or I could actually try to care what she actually thinks. On one hand, I got a hankerin' for a cure to my boredom. On the other, my life is kiiiinda at stake here.

"So, what sorta specific things, Red?"

"Interesting things."

"What sorta interesting things?"

"Entertaining things."

"What kind of entertaining things?"

She began to crack under my obviously intense interrogation methods. Her flat stare became not just a flat stare, but also vaguely wry! "Being questioned, apparently..."

Gave her a bit more than a vaguely wry semi-smile of my own. Which is to say I grinned like she handed over a hundred when being shaken down for lunch money. "What sort of questioning?"

Now she just rolled her eyes, laying down on her arms. "Stupid questioning."

"How stupid?"

"So stupid you can't help but laugh, I guess?" And, indeed, she did some rendition of a guffaw, though it came out more like a vague chuckle. Seriously, the girl was giving Patches a run for her money.

"Got a name?"

"You don't know it?"

"Nah."

She looked more than a little taken aback. "...Reimu. Just Reimu."

My grin got all the wider. "Mind if I call you by your given name, Just?"

Now she started laughing. While that was going on, another person entered the room with a click of the door. Looking that way, I found Flan, bearer of a hopefully tomato sauce smudge. Not that I wasn't used to that less desired red smudge, but never met someone that dined on the stuff.

She beamed a bit, waving. Sent a grin her way now, waving in return. Flan took her seat, but there was still plenty of time. Had to make a good impression with my entertainment, right? "Names Kirisame Marisa."

"Huh." Just gave a half shrug, replying, "Nice to meet you, Kirisame."

"Just Marisa's fine."

"Sure, Just."

I gave a huff. "That's my schtick, y'know? Get your own, Just." She sent a brow up at me, but I just grinned it back down. Then she threw her eyes up in a roll instead, which got a chuckle out of me. "Still, my friend's here, so see ya 'round."

She let out a snort. "What am I, your entertainment?"

Was my turn to chuckle now. "Sure were!" That left her reeling! Well, or just blinking in surprise, more than a little taken aback. "What? Why else does someone slap your desk and greet ya?"

"Usually they want something, I guess?"

"What would anyone want with y-?"

A newcomer interrupted from behind me, "Will you two please be quiet?" Looking over my shoulder, I found the sword chick glaring at me with one eye, the other still closed. "I'm trying to meditate."

Let out a snort, though did relent. "Fine, fine. Don't gotta be all grumpy."

That single eye grew more than a bit confused as I turned to head for the front. Plopped my butt down by Flan, and greeted, "Mornin' Flan." And then, from the other side of the front row, I heard Blade let out a groan, as I was now all the closer.

Flan put on a real sweet smile, as if her morning routine involves dipping herself in sugar or somethin'. Smile had to be worth a fortune, honestly, as bright as it was; no way was it a fake. "Good morning, Marisa."

Let out a chuckle, asking, "Sleep well?"

She started blushing, no doubt due to the whole library thing. "Erm... ...y-yes! Very well..." The girl looked more than a bit embarrassed, and I had a fair idea as to why. Which I just mentioned, but still.

"So, when'd ya wake up?" Flan's blush just got worse. "Whole night, huh?" She just nodded, averting her gaze to the window. Gave her a few slaps on the back to cheer her up. "Hey, now. Buck up, y'hear? Didn't get in any trouble or anything, right?"

Flan giggled weakly, answering, "Well, no. I suppose I didn't."

"Nothin' to be bothered about, then!"

She was silent, but nodded, seeming to accept her terrible fate well enough.

After that point, plenty of students started the ol' last minute blitz. Was something I was used to, myself, in fact! Heck, Nitori, too, though it was mostly my fault. Heh... The things the teachers would say about me being a bad influence and such... good memories, those.

While I was busy with memory lane, the bell finally rang its last. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it only went off once. "Alright, class! Once more today we'll be practicing our human forms~" Teach gave the lot of us a nice ol' smile. The kind that'd wake you up in the middle of the night down the road. Real sexy, y'know? Could practically hear the boners smacking the bottoms of their respective desk. "The example today will be..." her eyes lit up like the cat that got the canary. "Unzan."

"What?" He looks more than a bit surprised. "I don't like the little shits, but I can fit in fine." Huh. Who'da thunk Unzan was so passionate about his looks? Well, or he's in my boat and doesn't want to bother as much as... inhumanly possible..

Red started wagging her finger all teacher-like. "Your form may look human, yes, but it hardly fits the region, Mr. Kumoi."

"The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for one, you have a very noticeable appearance."

"And?"

"Your beard is at odds with your apparent nationality. It looks rather Western."

"And?"

She put on that 'Ahah!' smirk, as if she just figured out who murdered the butler. "Also, children would demand to sit in your lap." That just left Unzan a bit surprised. "You look like Santa Claus, you see."

"The hell I do! Santa ain't bald or a red head." The room started snickering, which apparently was a bit past Unzan's limits, as he slammed his fist down on the desk, a crunchy cracking sound coming from the wooden surface. Got a wince out of me at the memory of the other day, though I was also a bit distracted by him calling himself a red head. Teacher? Sure, she's like a fire truck. Him? More like a cotton candy sheep. "You shits got something to say?" His words had that deadly edge that makes a room go silent.

As such, I figured it a great time to jabber my jaw a bit. Ain't no shark, but still. "Think they don't believe in Santa, Pinkie." I mean, neither do I, but I'd not exactly want to say all that.

He turned his eyes on me, the intimidation slider set to max. "The fuck you say? Of course the bastard's real; met him myself. Cracked me over the head with a sack of coal and everything." ...I don't think that's how the old man operates, but after all I'd seen, I'd not even be surprised. ...Then again, he's Unzan. Dude's kinda a dick.

Now the room was dead silent, but not for quite the same reason as the previous laughter. More that disbelieving kind.

Clearing her throat, the teacher tried, "I can't say if he does or doesn't exist, but I don't think I need to remind you of our policies on destroying school property, Mr. Kumoi."

After a short stare-off, Unzan looked at his desk, probably getting what she meant, and let out a pink snort. Was a kind of 'whatever' snort, and I knew it well. Mine usually lacked that cotton candy-flavoring of his. Very usually.

After he switched desks, the class went on for a while. Watching him end up a pretty boy was more than a little funny.

— - — - —

Different cut-off points are an option.

Vote 1
[ ] Tease Unzan.
-[ ] Tease Unzan a lot.
--[ ] Tease Unzan perhaps too much.
---[ ] Tease Unzan way too much, and probably get him riled up.
[ ] Write-in.

Vote 2
[ ] Call him Red, not Pink.
[ ] Call the teacher Red, not Teach.
[ ] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.

[46] Tease Unzan.
[46] Call Reimu Red, not Just or Napkins.

— - — - —

When class was finally over, I just gave him my biggest shit-eating grin. If you didn't know any better, you'd be checking my teeth for corn, and he looked pretty familiar with my intent. "Just get it over with." He let out a snort, putting on a brave front, but clearly he was terrified deep down inside. The chick that smashed his nuts was about to make fun of him.

The horror.

"Ohh? Ya expecting somethin', Pinkie?"

"I know that look." Well, at least he saw it coming. Gotta give him props for that, not that I brought any with me. Maybe next time I'll bring a rubber chicken or some such. Then again, the guy's a dick. That said, giving him a rubber dick seems like it'd go all manner of wrong.

"Do ya, now? What's it mean, then, Price Charming?" My grin got all the bigger, as it felt nice to lord over him after what happened on the first day.

Once more he snorted, a pink puff coming from his nose. "That."

"Maybe you should spell it out for me, then?"

"Tee, aych, ayy, tee."

That got a good chuckle out of me. "Well, at least ya got wit."

"I'm just going to go before I have to ram your head up your ass."

"Got a princess to go rescue, huh? Give her a big ol' smooch for me!" My grin grew lopsided, as I knew he full well could make good on that. But, well... don't think he wants anything to do with me after-

"Fine." He pinched my cheeks between his thumb and forefinger, giving me a kiss. "See ya, Princess." And then he headed off, laughing his ass off, no doubt finding the look on my face funny.

"What." My cheeks were burning red, as that wasn't what I expected in the least. Dude's got balls, that's for sure... ...Although, I always figured a beard felt like steel wool, not... soft like that.

Flan blushed along with me, stuttering out the remnants of nervousness. "W-well, that could have ended worse..." She giggled weakly. "Umm... Marisa, are you okay?"

I was many things, but okay wasn't quite what I'd call any of them. "...I'll be fine." Wasn't wrong, but I did dodge the question.

She smiled down at me, looking a bit relieved. "Good!" The relief of an angel like her could soothe any wound, pride or otherwise. Not that I exactly knew where that wound was exactly. "Should we head for lunch, then...?"

Gave her a nod; if there were any class I wasn't about to skip, lunch was the prime candidate. Can't do much on an empty stomach, and can't find many alternative places to get lunch on a campus. That said, we headed for lunch.

The halls were as bustling as you'd expect after sitting on our asses as long as we had been. Never had a homeroom quite as long as that, but it could be worse. We could have a second class in that time slot! I'd rather a good chance to opt out of an unnecessary bit of knowledge than have to be hustled about here and there.

When we arrived at the cafeteria, the line was more than a bit unwieldy. "Jeeez... Gonna be a hell of a long wait." Normally I'd just cut in line, but getting between some kinda monster and its food just stinks of a good way to become a snack. Between Flan with neck munching, Unzan with head munching or whatever he said, and Nitori with ass munching, it was becoming increasingly obvious that eatin' people was A-okay around these parts.

Hopefully the lunch lady didn't have no soilent green or some such. Then again, I'm sure I'm delicious, so maybe I'd actually like it. Still didn't have any plans to munch ass or eat brains, but clearly it wouldn't be so popular if there were no reason to it.

As we waited, Flan asked, "So, umm... what sorts of things do you like, Marisa?"

"...Huh." That's a good question. Can't exactly say the lamentation of the women or anything. I'm supposedly a witch, not a viking. Ehh, screw it; I'll just say the closest thing I got to a smart activity. "Well, I like watching my buddy build stuff, I guess."

She tilted her head. "Your buddy?"

"Yeah, the girl you handed me off to. Blue hair and stinks somethin' fierce?"

From behind, a certain buttmuncher cried, "I do not stink, Marisa."

Gave her a grin over my shoulder. "But sayin' it's a great way to get you to reveal yourself!" Seriously, the girl's got no presence at all. It's like she can go invisible at will or somethin'.

Nitori gave me a roll of her eyes. A pretty common acquisition, so I'd not exactly call it valuable. "Ass."

Gave a grin in return. A common gift, but a quality one. "Is that all I am to you?"

I swear the girl's eyes are gonna drive off once they get traction. "Ohh, haha. Very original, Marisa."

"I'll be here all week." Hopefully longer, too!

It wasn't long before it was Flan's turn in the spotlight when Nitori asked, "So, you're Marisa's friend, huh?" She was looking her over, eyes not lingering on any one place.

Flan, of course, nodded. "Yes. She, umm... fixed my bike."

Was clear that her claim surprised Nitori. "Marisa fixed a bike?"

Gave a big ol' grin, pleased at that reaction. Half expected disbelief. "Sure did!"

Now her eyes turned on me, looking more than a bit confused. "You fixed a bike." Theeeere's the disbelief. Seems she was holdin' out on me.

"What, you're surprised? You know how much I'd watch you do your thing."

That got a blush and a huff outta the cutie. Jackpot! "I-I never thought you were actually paying attention." Ohh! And a stammer, too! Seems my investment in bike repairs is paying off in spades.

Now it was my turn to spin my eyes fruitlessly. "You make it sound like all the pieces fell apart and I had to reassemble the damn thing or somethin'. Was just the chain comin' off."

She let out a long sigh of relief. "Here I thought you did something impressive."

Gave her a cocky grin. "Although, as much as you built 'em from scrap, I could probably put one together at least."

And it was her turn to peel eyeball again. "Bullshit, Marisa. You couldn't assemble your way out of a paper bag."

"You wound me, Nitori." Took out a handkerchief for the express purpose of hamming it up. "Here I thought you were my friend, but... but you don't even think I can assemble a bike...!" Clearly the ultimate sign of friendship. Dabbed my eyes as if it truly upset me. As if...

The lunch lady chose that time to clear her throat. Looking to her, I found that we had arrived at the front of the line to the smiling lunch lady.

Nice how time flies like that.

— - — - —

[ ] Get the glowing snot-green soup. Gotta get more of those cupcakes. Not dying is also nice, assuming it doesn't kill me first. But man, that cupcake, though!
[ ] Can never go wrong with pizza.
[ ] The spaghetti might be nice for a change.
[ ] Is that salisbury steak? I freaking love salisbury steam! A break from russian roulette might be nice...

[47] Get the steak and some goop soup. Man, steak and cake! How can I resist?? It even rhymes for crying out loud!

— - — - —

When has being decisive ever been a good thing? "Yo, it okay if I mix and match? That glowin' soup looks all kinds of soupy and glowing, but Salisbury steak!"

Never, that's when.

While the bluer half of my entourage rolled her eyes over my affection for meat, the lunch lady let out a real jiggle of a giggle. "You certainly do like your food, don't you?"

Grinning, I fired back, "What can I say? Lunch is my favorite class!"

Beaming at the compliment, pinky started pouring some of the soup that looked like it was made of snot and glow stick juice into a cup, followed by a nice generous slab of the good stuff. After that, she placed a brick of cornbread and a cube of chocolate milk in the remaining slots. "Eat up! Can never have too much~"

Nitori, being the contrarian she is, pointed out, "Not if it kills you."

Not missing a beat, the lunch lady shot back, "Ohh, but then you get to eat even more!"

Not expecting that response, Nitori just snorted, clearly being done with that topic. Her loss. "Cucumber salad." The lunch lady started piling it on. "More..." And the pile grew, and grew. "Ohh, yeah..." ...That sounded weirdly heated.

While the tower of cucumbers finally got its roof, Flan eyed my soup, asking, "Is that glowy soup good...?"

Of course, being a lunch lady, she airily answered, "Everything I make is good to someone~"

"I... see."

"Do you like fruit~?" ...Fruit... soup?? Kiiinda regretting getting it a little...

"Well, umm... are tomatoes a fruit?"

Smiling, the queen of cook answered, "Would you put a tomato in a fruit salad?" Even the lunch lady is still a teacher, I guess...

"Ohh, umm..." After a few seconds passed, she answered, "...Mmmmaybe?" Note to self: keep flan away from fruit salads.

The lunch lady reached across to give Flan a ruffle and a half. "Then of course!" ...I feel like my faith in the lunch lady's been shaken a little.

"What about cucumbers?" Ohh god, not her, too!

Beaming, Lunchy answered simply, "Would you?"

"Obviously."

"Then of course it is! Tomatoes and cucumbers are clearly a magnificent addition to [/i]any[/i] fruit salad!" Note to self: keep away from fruit salads.

Snickering, hopefully because she was messing with the lunch lady, the ol' butt burglar said, "Water on the side, too."

"Aww, how boring..." However, she did place it, as well as put a brick of cornbread, much to Nitori's obvious displeasure. Y'know, I have this weird feeling like she's a bit repressed over cucumbers, as I never saw her eat 'em this hard.

Next it was Flan's turn to step up to the plate. "I'll have the glowy soup and some tomato juice, please." Smiling, the lunch lady did as requested, but when she went for the cornbread, Flan spoke up. "I, umm... I'm not so good with solid food."

"Ohh, you poor thing..." She instead put a pack of applesauce on the tray, which got a smile out of Flan.

With that, the three of us headed on, though that left us with a few choices on the table: what table to put our choices on.

— - — - —

[ ] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!
[ ] Huh. Unzan's with a lady friend. That's... weird.
[ ] Hey, looks like that brunette from gym. Man, she's with a couple hotties, too! One's a classy-looking blonde, and the other's wielding a grin that puts mine to shame! Seriously, that bluenette is freaking happy! Neither of them look like first years, though.
[ ] If it isn't watermelon head! She's a real fun one, so might as well join her. She's actually not alone, surprisingly. Looks like she's got some greenhead with her, not to mention that frosty ass from gym.
[ ] Just grab an empty spot; there's still plenty to go around.

[48] Hey, looks like Red's all by her lonesome. Looks like it's time to crash her crappy party!

— - — - —

Hand slapped table like it was being a creep, eking a nice little bounce out of the poor girl. Strangely, the whole lunchroom went just a bit dead silent over it, too. It's like I slapped the don's desk or something dumb like that. Whatever. "Heya, Red!"

"...Hey, you." She didn't even bother lookin'!

I let out a gasp, asking, "How could you forget your best friend?"

Now looking, she let out a snort. "I barely even know you. Bit early to say that, isn't it?"

"I dunno, you're smilin'!"

This time I got a nice little roll of her eyes. "Because you're an idiot."

"But am I a lovable idiot?"

"Do you... want to be?" Now she was looking at me funny. Score!

"Maybe?" Gave her a nice, cheesy grin to go with that cornbread cube. Seriously, pretty sure everyone but Flan's got one.

"...Idiot."

"But you're smiiiliiing~" Grinned that teasing grin I usually saved for the butt biter.

"Well, isn't that just how lovable idiots work?" She gave a shrug, changing the topic. "Still, these your friends, or...?"

Gave a nice little bob of a nod, answering, "Sure like to think so! Meet Nitori and Flan." Motioned to them in the wrong order, just to get them to correct me.

Before Nitori could let her indignation be known, Flan gave her a nice little bow, greeting, "I'm Flandre Scarlet! Umm... and that's in Western order."

After sending me a dirty look, Nitori only gave a nod, answering, "Kawashiro Nitori. Eastern order. You need it, I make it." She took a moment to rummage in her skirt, coming out with a business card. Dork.

Reimu rolled her eyes, taking the card. Looking it over, she tucked it away. "Hakurei Reimu." Looking the kappa over now, she added, "Maybe we'll do business some time."

Nitori was quite pleased with what may or may not be a rendezvous, though Flan just smiled, saying, "Nice to meet you, Miss Hakurei."

"Reimu."

"Umm! M-Miss Reimu?"

"Reimu." Y'know, I feel like she speaks in only one tone.

Red's eyes were boring a hole in Flan's skull when Flan whimpered, shrinking under her gaze. "Reimu...?"

Reimu smiled just a bit, getting back to eating. Her plate was piled high with what amounted to seemingly one of everything. Seems I have competition for teacher's pet... ...Well, or a stomach ache, what with that soup being her current target.

Took a seat at the table, the others less than eagerly joining me. Reimu never spoke a peep of protest, though her side of the table seemed awfully empty.

— - — - —

[ ] Ehh, can't go too hard too fast. Think I'll stay sandwiched in between these two and get to know this soup a bit better.
[ ] As if I can just let her stay all lonely over there! Better sneak on over!
[ ] Who needs stealth when you got pizazz? I'll show that empty half of the table who's boss by parking my ass right next to her! I'mma sit the crap outta that side of the table!
[ ] Nah. This won't do at all. You won't be the meat, but the bread!
-[ ] Cucumber sandwich!
-[ ] Tomato sandwich!