[x] Go Right to the Library
The fairy has a Very Important task, and so she will attempt to do that Very Important task until distracted.

>Only one vote per person
...As it always should be.

[X] Go Back into the Kitchen

[x] Go back to the kitchen
Heh.

So, where the fuck is Flandre supposed to be?

[x] Go Forth into the Meat Locker

A sad Koa in snow.

[X] Go Right to the Library

Our job, we must do it!

[X] Go Back into the Kitchen

Our equipment list didn't say if the tea set was loaded with tea or not, so I'll err on the side of caution and assume we haven't done it yet.

[X] Go Right to the Library

Commencing virtuous mission!

[ ] Back?

or

[ ] Right?

Next vote takes it!

[X] Go Right to the Library

>>63107

You made the [X]Right choice!

You approach the Door to the Library. It was located a few feet from the Kitchen for the sake of the maids delivering food there. Taking not of the "NO FLY ZONE" sign posted by the door, you decide to walk. You take note of the steadily increasing excess of unshelved books and scattered food wrappers.

You finally make it to the center of the the library after wading through a small lake of trash. What you found inside was a sickly, Grumpy and bone-thin-but-somehow-well-endowed Witch Librarian tied up and hanging from the rafters, surrounded by angry fairies armed with pitchforks, swords and one cast iron frying pan.

---

You are in the Library Center: Desk of Patchy.

Behind you is the Bog of Trash. You don't remember there being a bog of trash before. Must be new.

To the left, from here is the path to the DunBasement Door.

Ahead, past the Librarian's desk, lies the path to Koakuma's Bedroom.

To the right is the path to Marisa Entrance Hole #447. You've heard no explosions recently, so it should still be patched up.

Above you is a floating Grimore Praesidium, a dog-earred reminder as to why this is a No Fly Zone.

---

[ ] Figure out what's going on.

[ ] Go Left

[ ] Go Right

[ ] Go Around Mob

[ ] Go Back

[ ] Read the Book

[ ] Inspect Nails.

---

That took longer than it should have. Next update should come out faster.

[X] Go Left

[x] Figure out what is going on

I'm going to go ahead and assume it is not a common occurrence

Is this our problem? I'm fairly certain this isn't our problem.

[X] Go Left

[x] Figure out what is going on

[x] Go Left

Stay on target.

[x] Figure out what's going on.

...although it's actually somewhat obvious

Target Locked! [X] Left Route confirmed!

>>63116

I didn't spot YOU until I hit submit! Recounting the votes brings us to a tie! Lucky you, I'm a lazy, slow shit and can still work with this tie!

We [X] Figure out what's going on, but [X] Go Left anyway!

You tap a fairy on the shoulder. You make sure you find the least riled up fairy to tap. It won't do to get the tea set destroyed by an enthusiastic bullet of surprise!

She turns around and stares at you for a second before even really realizing that you're above rank, chewing on something. She tries to talk to you with her mouth full, holding out her hand.

"Mgmgmg... Mg? Want a marshmallow, boss?"

You're flattered by the offer. You take the marshmallow and store it in your apron pocket. Since you have her attention, though, you ask the fairy what's going on. It takes the fairy a moment to reply, as she does so between marshmallows.

"Mgmg... We're staging a revolution because Mistress Patchy... Mgmgmg... Mistress Patchy keeps making us imitate old fights from history books, which is boring because we know who's gonna' win, but then she said that they didn't have marshmallows back then and then everybody got mad and then things got worse from there and-."

She cuts herself off with a handful of marshmallows before you can stop her yourself. Having more or less figured out that this was a revolution, you excuse yourself politely. You leave for the Basement.

...

Beyond the not-as-impressive Small Brook of trash lies a dark lane between the bookshelves, made darker than all the others. Almost hidden at the end is a door, hidden, but not all that well. Made to look like a bricked-over wall, the spot is memorialized with two plaques on either side. The train of thought is 'If it's a display, nobody will touch it out of politeness', which has proven surprisingly effective.

To the left of the door is a plaque that reads "LOCUS IN QUO". To the right is a plaque that reads "ET MILITES PLECTENTES CORONAM DE SPINIS IMPOSUERUNT CAPITI EJUS".

You don't know what either of them are saying, but the words hurt your eyes to look at, and not in the way hard words usually do. You know what brick to push to open the way, but that particular brick burns to touch.

-----

[ ] Push the brick

[ ] Don't push the brick

[ ] Use an item to push the brick

[ ] Wait, I'm alone, aren't I
- [ ] Obligatory Lewd Option

[ ] Write-in.

[ ] Pop Self.

-----

[X] Use an item to push the brick
-[X] Use a nearby book

Are the books burn proof? I can't remember.

[X] Use an item to push the brick
-[X] Use the marshmellow

Not sure this will work, but if it doesn't there should be something in the Small Brook of Trash that is appropriate.

[x] Use an item to push the brick

Hmm... To the left is just some out-of-context Latin, to the right is a snippet from the Bible (that crown of thorns) and I say
[x] If we push the brick, how bad does it burn?
[x] Put down the tea before you push the brick.

[X] BACK. ASK FAIRY FOR PITCHFORK. LEFT. PUT MARSHMALLOW ON PITCHFORK. PUSH BRICK WITH PITCHFORK.

The lewd option can wait until Flan asks for honey for her tea.

It looks like we're using something to push the brick, but what ARE we using? First vote gets it!

[x] Push brick with umbrella.

Let's get this over with.

You reach out and grab an umbrella. Ignoring her protest, you grab her hand and push it gently onto the brick in question. Two to the left, thirteen from top. Ignoring the umbrella's cries of pain as her hand begins to smoke, you wait a good ten seconds as her hand burns. You pull her hand off quickly after ten seconds and wait five seconds, just long enough for the umbrlla to let out a sigh of relief, before pushing the umbrella's hand back on to the brick, adding enough force to depress the brick. Security measures followed, the wall begins to open up, brick-by-brick. You turn to the umbrella and bow politely, thanking the umbrella. The umbrella is too busy looking at her burnt hand and trying not to vomit to respond.

You feel kind of bad for doing that. You offer the umbrella a marshmallow.

Even though the umbrella was crying in pain, she took one look at the marshmallow and snatched it up immediately.

"Thank you, thank you! I can finally eat!"

The umbrella kisses your forehead with no warning and turns away to enjoy her food one-handed. Your last sight of the umbrella as you take the now-revealed stone stairs down is the umbrella taking the smallest nibbles she could of the marshmallow in her one good hand.


-----

You are standing in the Scarlet Devil Basement. You stand at a fork in the path.

To the left is a dark hallway. You hear a pair of hushed moaning voices. It sounds kinda' lewd. There are a great number of bones scattered on the ground leading in that direction.

To the right is a Dark hallway. There are less bones, but there is instead an unguarded nickle. It is heads-up.

In the center, there is no path, but only wall. Also, there are Old bones liter the floor, especially around an uncensore-

IS THAT AN UNCENSORED PRINT OF THE YOUNG MISTRESS?

-----

[ ] Go left

[ ] Go right

[ ] Stay and admire the print

[ ] Go back

-----

>>63128

I used an umbrella, just like you wanted, right anon?

[X] Stay and admire the print
-[X] But then go right

[x] Stay and admire the print
wink wink nudge nudge

[x] Stay and admire the print

[X] Stay and admire the print
-[X] But then go left

[X] Stay and admire the print
-[X] But then go right

Oh wow

[X] Go right

> I used an umbrella, just like you wanted, right anon?

That was a terrible vote and I feel terrible for making it. So why can't I stop laughing?

[x] Go left

[X] Stay and admire the print
-[X] But then go straight
--[X] Go straight forever

>>63119
>Marshmallow fairy
HAHAHAHA YES!
Does this take place before or after she went batshit and almost burned Gensokyo to the ground?

[X] Stay and admire the print
-[X] But then go left

>>63139

The fuck if I know. Try asking Keymaster.

>>63139

Wait, fuck, ignore that.

IT IS COMING SOON!

Also, VOTES CALLED!

You've never seen a print of such fine quality!

Ever since the mansion moved to this bizarre place, uncensored prints of any sort had become rare. You could count the number of unofficial prints you've seen since moving here on one hand.

But here it was; an unfamiliar print, fully exposed and on local wood!

The young mistress, in that bizzarly alluring local art style, nearly nude, save for the kimono barely clinging to her hips...

Oh, how you wish you were alone right n-

Wait, you ARE alone right now, aren't you?

You look to the left. Nothing but lewd noises that certainly aren't getting closer. You look right. Just a lucky nickle. You look behind yourself. Nothing behind you save the stairs you took on the way down here.

You turn your attention back to the print. You ever-so-gingerly set down the tea tray, not once taking your eyes off of the work of art on the wall before you. You stand.

Your hand rubs your inner thighs experimentally as-

"RAGAFLAGA!"

You find yourself face first on the floor, hands still between your legs.

You are very confused.

"Ah HA! I got- Oh. It's just a fairy."

You know that voice. Your blood runs cold.

"Hey, did you bring tea?"

Your blood immediately thaws. The Young Mistress, rather than start with the threats, threatening, threatening flirtations and threats, was distracted almost immediately by the prospect of tea.

"What flavor is it?"

You tell her it's mango.

"Oh, thank you, thank you!"

The young mistress went from 'crushing-small-of-fairy's-back' to 'appreciative hug' fairly smoothly.

Save for one problem.

She's larger than you are. That means the back of your head is busy being smashed in to the young mistress' perpetually-just-coming-in chest. Aside from your having a thing for larger girls, there's the matter about the young mistress being a vampire.

You know, a blood-sucking physical embodiment of lust?

Of course, it won't exactly kill you if your noticing this kind of thing, but you've heard that a vampire's blood lust is directly correlated to the amount of ACTUAL lust involved.

You've seen the young mistress drain an entire raw steak in 20 seconds flat.

---

[ ] Let it happen. It's just a rumor
[ ] Struggle
[ ] L-LEWD

[ ] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

[x] Let it happen. It's just a rumor

This is fine.

[X] Let it happen. It's just a rumor

[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

[X] L-LEWD

[X] Let it happen. It's just a rumor

[X] Let it happen. It's just a rumor

>being straight in Gensokyo

What blasphemy have you brought to these lands? Please do us all a kindness and keep your vile heterosexual agenda to yourself.

[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

>>63151
So you want to be a lesbian, huh? What are you, a CASUAL?
Cant handle a REAL fairy's route? I guess not since you're obviously SO PATHETIC!
Only the most HARDCORE of fairies, such as myself, can handle being straight in a SEA OF RAGING LESBOS!
What's the matter? TOO SCARED?
Psh, you're just a waste of my time, bullet fodder.

[x] The sex option

Finally we get more fairy maid loving

[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

being heterosexual in Gensokyo is suffering

[x] Play along
NO ONE MUST KNOW

>>63152
As Remilia once put it;

> "THE AIR IS RIFERIPE WITH THE STENCH OF BITCHES!!!"


[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight a hermaphrodite

[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

So this is hard mode. Acceptable.

[X] Play along. No one must know that you're actually straight

We're going hard mode!

Fortunately for you, you're getting nothing from this.

Well, not NOTHING. It's lewd, certainly, and you're not TOO averse to it...

But it's just not the same as a man's strong, hardened-yet-malleable-chest...

Regardless, you would like very much to keep your job, so you have to pretend you're sexually attracted to her. Maids are supposed to be sexy, after all, and fairies have been fired for less.

You decide to play up the 'innocent maiden' routine. With a cry of 'y-young mistress', you turn your head and arch your back. Over the shoulder-gaze is a powerful weapon, and one of the greatest at your disposal.

My heart nearly stops when I see four of the young mistress. Even knowing she can do this, it's terrifying every time. I'm even more terrified when I see that all of them looked disappointed. The mistress on my back speaks.

"You're not turned on even slightly? You're supposed to get super self-conscious about my little boobs on your head!"

Oh, cracker jacks! You'd forgotten that the mistress' of the house could smell arousal!

"Are you that one straight fairy I've heard about from the other fairies?"

---

Oh.

[ ] "Yes?"
[ ] "What of it?"
[ ] "You got a PROBLEM with liking dick?"
[ ] "WHAT? Nooo, whaaat? Come oooon..."
[ ] "NOOOONONONONONONO- Gayer than the locals reading fanfiction of themselves at a drunken gay pride rally! That's me!"
[ ] {Stoic silence}

[ ] PANIC!
- [ ] THROW THE WEIRD PURPLE THING!

[ ] Distract
- [ ] Serve Tea

Long day of work ahead! Might not update!

>>63159

Why can I not use tenses consistently.

[x] {Stoic silence}
[x] Distract
- [x] Serve Tea

I-I'm sure we'll be fine if we just pretend to be a perfect maid, r-right?

[X] {Stoic silence}
[X] Distract
- [X] Serve Tea

[x] Distract
- [x] Serve Tea

[X] PANIC!
- [X] THROW THE WEIRD PURPLE THING!

[x] WHAT? NONONONO ME? COME ON! NOOO NO WAY

[x] WHAT? NONONONO ME? COME ON! NOOO NO WAY
[x] Distract
- [x] Serve Tea

YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GAY FLANDRE! NO MATTER HOW HOT YOU ARE, OR HOW MANY VAMPIRE LOLI'S THROW IN MY DIRECTION!

NEVER!

[X] Distract
- [X] Serve Tea

Stay on target. No one must be made aware of our strange proclivities. Even though the other fairies apparently already know.

We've got to [X]Distract by [X]Serving Tea!

But are doing so in [ ] stoic silence? Or in a [ ] stammering panic?

Next vote has it!

>>63169
[x] Stoic Panic

[Screams Internally]

You have a duty to do. It is a perfect excuse to drown out the panicky screaming in your head.

The young mistress watches with amusement as you refuse to respond. All four of her have ti stifle their laughing when the tea pot rattles obviously in your hand. Then she speaks.

"You ARE the straight fairy, then, aren't you?"

You refuse to cry. All four Flan's, still gathered around your back, begin embracing one another in what was obviously some vain attempt to entice you.

"I've gotta' admit, I've never seen a fairy serve tea while I was sitting on them before. You look silly."

Says the hussy who's making out with herself in a three-way-kiss-of-misguided-melting-flirtations. Why does this happen so frequently? I just want to be left alone, maybe meet some cute guy, get married, have some kids delivered by stork, or maybe by cabbage patch or something, why is that sso hard to understand?

WHY IS THAT SO HARD? I like MEN dammit! Even under this calm, stony face that isn't twitching at the corners of the mouth in frustration at all, lies a burning desire for a CUTE BOYFRIEND! I- wait.

Waitwaitwait.

wait

Since when did the young mistress actually MELT in to herself?

"You know, I've been down here for a real long time... I've got half a dozen tricks up my sleeve for something like this..."

You watch in horror as the three young mistress' behind the young mistress on your back begin making out in earnest, melting in to each other like fleshy-goo-horrors, all detail fading with each passing second until the three blurred and fused with each other until you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

The young mistress doesn't even flinch when the whole mess opens up a single gaping maw and pulls her off of your back, swallowing her whole.

You scoot the tea tray to the side. Wouldn't do to break it, after all.

You then stand up, use the lovely print as a boost and attempt to fly away, as the only logical course here is to GET THE EVER-LOVING FUCK AWAY, NO LOOKING BACK.

Your wings are caught mid-beat, yanking you to a VERY painful halt. Before you can scream, however, a deep (but not too deep) voice calls out, oddly familiar as it was enticingly exotic.

"And where do you think YOU'RE going?"

You turn your head warily.

Holding your wings is an ALL TOO FAMILIAR young blonde gentleman with beautiful jewel-branch wings. His cute red sweater vest and yellow tie are tailor made. His cute red shorts sit atop toned, lean legs. His red eyes pierce yours, dominating your very soul. His ponytail is tied in a familiar ribbon. His white derby hat (red trim), rested on the finger of his free hand. He had long, red claws for nails on his smooth, delicately-pampered hands.

-----

He looks like a proper lanky young gentleman from back home.

[ ] Loins = AFLAME
[ ] Ew. Victorian is the worst
[ ] ONLY BARA ALLOWED!
[ ] Too old
[ ] I wish to be the little boy
[ ] MISTRESS FLAN HAS BEEN EATEN BY A BLOB!

[ ] Write-in, anon. Write-in.

---

You're not out of the woods quite yet!

[X] ONLY BARA ALLOWED!

>you're not out of the woods quite yet!
That's why we want a huge, muscly lumberjack!

>[x] Too old
We're actually a fairy with an /ss/ fetish. Ara ara~

[X]Does the plumbing match her/his look?
- [X] If so, this is fine.

This story is going places. Anyways, we can't exactly be picky now can we?

> I like MEN dammit!
I believe Meling would like to introduce her to your friend, Koishi.

[x] ONLY BARA ALLOWED!
[x] Too old
[x] I wish to be the little boy
[alarm bells] MISTRESS FLAN HAS BEEN EATEN BY A BLOB!

-[==>] Fairy Maid: ABSCOND.

[X] Swoon dramatically, just as your romance novels have taught you

[X] My humblest apologies young master. I was just on my way to gather ingredients for a stamina/semen boosting tea. As this will no doubt be the first case of heterosexual sex in Gensokyo, we need to make absolutely sure it's one for the history books.

[x] Too old

[X] Loins = AFLAME

Can't argue with that.

It would appear that even a fairy can find a young gentleman like Flan [x] Too old!

Ew.

The young mist-

The young MASTER gave you a look. You must have said that out loud. You say it again with emphasis.

Absolutely ew.

The young master glares. His eyes hurt to stare in to.

"What do you mean 'ew', you ungrateful little rat? Are you saying I'm ugly? Do you have any idea how much power it takes to-"

It's not like you to interrupt the masters of the house, but you need to say your piece before you get popped and lose a turn. Losing turns REALLY hurts.

"Too old?"

The young master is confused. You say it again so he gets it. His handsome face contorts into a twisted grimace of utter confusion.

"But you're a fairy! What do you MEAN too old?"

My, oh my~! Is the young master actually upset that you won't play with him? You can't stifle the giggle that comes to your lips. The young master turns red.

"I'll show you!"

As three more of the young master (having sprung up from seemingly nowhere) embrace each other and begiguguhguuh...

You quietly enjoy the quadruplencestuous yaoi orgy for the precious few seconds it lasted before the goo-slime-thing happened again.

the goo began writhing when the young master became one with himself, writhing frantically as it throbbed and pulsed, slowly, but gradually taking shape. With a DELICIOUS curving of the back and absolutely perfect squeal, the young master emerged from the goo, looking much younger...

He was now only just a half-head taller than me, full of confidence and dressed in the young mistress' outfit.

Wait, GIRL clothes? What was he TRYING to be, four? His body certainly wasn't that small...

---

[ ] Perfect...
[ ] Just a TAD bit older.
- [ ] Like, a LARGE tad. But not TOO large.

[ ] Time to play...
- [ ] Maybe we can do ADULT stuff...
- [ ] Let's play Tea Party!

[ ] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!

---

Remember folks! One thing at a time!

[x] Perfect...

[X] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!

[x] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!

[x] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!

[X] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!

You must tease the Flan before mating with it.

[x] CLEARLY you know NOTHING of Victorian fashion! I shall educate you properly!
-[x] (with emphasis) Ya zip-thinkin' cranial vacancy. Ya crapshot. Ya floppin' tove. Ya flapjaw vacuum. Ya greased ouroboros. COME HERE AND LET ME EDUCATE YOU!!!

Insults taken from >>29336

>>63192

>Insults taken from >>29336

You need the board name to link between boards.

>>/forest/29336

Otherwise you link to the current board post number instead of the alternate board post number.

>>63189

[X] HAIL VICTORIA

>>63195
I still think this Flan is far, far too old. It needs to like be at fertilized egg level of young for us to be turned on.

I may or may not be implying something here, so the answer is yes.

What is this... this TRAVESTY!? To dress so... so JUVENILE at such an (apparent) age! It's... It's indecent! Improper! Utterly blasphemous!

You black out for a moment. When you come to, the young master is crying. You ask him why.

"I am NOT a beef-witted applejohn! Or a, a slatt-ern-ous church bell of a, a mud snipe! Or a gong-farming dirty gigg! You're a... a Steak... witted... apple..."

As the young master trails off in to blubbering, unable to think of a proper counter insult, you put two and two together. Really, you can't help but lose your temper when the beauty that is Victorian fashion is trampled like so much rubbish on the road like this!

But then you remember that her older sister owns your bedroom.

You quickly come to the solution that if you are to keep your job, you must turn this situation around!

You offer to teach the young master how to be a proper young gentleman!

-----

What should we teach him first?

[ ] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!
[ ] Dress up. A proper gentleman dresses for every occasion! Considering that he's trying to woo a lady, dress him properly!
[ ] Tea etiquette. With proper discipline, a gentleman can wear even the most ridiculous of costumes with ease!
- [ ] Lace tea with Fairy Dust.

-----

victorian insults are hard

[x] Dress up. A proper gentleman dresses for every occasion! Considering that he's trying to woo a lady, dress him properly!

We'll make her the perfect gentleman and/or die trying!

[X] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!

[x] Dress up. A proper gentleman dresses for every occasion! Considering that he's trying to woo a lady, dress him properly!

[x] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!

This is Gensokyo.

[X] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!

You're not a real 2hu without your hat!

>>63197
[X]Hat Etiquette

This is Touhou after all.

[X] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!

>>63205
bettered

[X] Hat Etiquette. A hat makes the man, and proper form is as important as the article itself!

The FIRST thing you do is slap the young master's hat off of his head. His blubbering stops instantly as he stares at you in utter horror.

FINALLY silent, you explain that he is both indoors AND in the presence of a lady! What kind of young man would be so rude as to keep his hat on whilst still inside and in the presence of a lady?

The young master's hands shook as he glowered at you, looking like he wanted to rip your throat out. Well, he can throw all the tantrums he wants, but he should be glad his sister wasn't here to see his horrid behavior!

At the mention of his sister, the young master's look of rage was flattened instantly with terror.

My, oh my~! You've found a WEAKNESS~!

You press on, warning him that if his sister were to see how unrefined of a gentleman he was, it'd be an absolute shame! He drops to his knees instantly, clasping his hands together in prayer. You can hardly understand him through his blubbering, but you're fairly certain he's promising to be good, 'just please don't tell big sis, honest!'

...

... My, oh my, oh my, is the sound of that wonderful~!

---

[ ] He'll have to do everything you say, then!
- [ ] EEEEVERYTHING...
- [ ] Eh~ Ver~ Ee~ Thing~!

[ ] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!

[ ] Then you'll have to be my boyfriend!

[ ] Then hold my hand!
- [ ] Like the manwhore you are!

---
I hate work, but I love money, woe is me.

[x] Hold hands

L-l-lewd.

[X] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!

[x] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!

[X] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!

[X] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!

We will make a gentleman out of him even if it kills us.

[X] Then you'll have to be my boyfriend!

Think about it lads, we'd be the only touhou with a genuine (or as close as one can get) boyfriend! We'd either be a pariah due to being straight or the envy of everyone this side of the sanzu. Possibly both!

The sheer novelty alone will cause an incident. Besides, gentleman training is a given in this choice. I'm fairly certain plenty of Victorian romance novels start with the premise of a Lady teaching a strapping young man how to act proper. Like 65% certain at least.

I'm putting this story on hold for the moment!

However, I will allow continued votes until next month!

[X] And a proper gentleman does NOT grovel!
[X] Nor a proper boyfriend!

[X] Then you'll have to be my boyfriend!

>>63219

There is nothing "pseudo" about this hiatus. It adheres to the exact definition of a hiatus. Just sayin.

>>63230

Ah, but normally when someone declares hiatus, all votes cease! Declaring it in such a way guarantees it won't end up like that!