Quick TLDR: Team 9 join the Scarlet Army to play a war-game. Problems will be solved through teamwork as everybody is good at something (Sonic heroes is a good reference for this), mood is light-hearted.

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9:30 in the summer-morning.
Garden of the Scarlet Mansion

Today is a good day, except for the few individuals that are stuck standing in line behind the Scarlet Devil Mansion gate, they are too far away for the walls to give them cover against the sun. Said walls are adorned with posters of a certain devil pointing at whoever looks at them with an “I want you!” sort of recruitment line to potentially increase the numbers of soldiers that come. Of course, those who did apply or were drafted are now having a good time NOT since short of the beautiful flowers on the other side, the beautiful red mansion on the other side, with its nice wet water fountain at again the other side, there’s nothing beautiful to look at here that isn’t grass or a bunch of tents made nearby. What a way to treat those who will fight for you in this dumb so-called ‘war’.

“Ten-hut soldiers!” A woman dressed in a black army dress, brown boots and a small beret on her long red hair speaks up in front of a few soldiers. With her well-muscled body, she walks back and forth in front of them at a controlled rhythm, like she’s warming up. “Today is a glorious day, for you brave girls have been drafted to join the side of the victors! And though I may have only 3 days to meld you all into the perfect soldiers, do not fear! For you are all under the supervision of the Rainbow Dragon, servant of the Scarlet Devil Hong Meiling!” intro done, she strikes a dignified pose as if to show off but in reality! she’s using the opportunity to scrutinize her recruit’s responses.

“Bah, as if I need that. I’m already the strongest there is!” one of the four girls replies with a cocky smile and a fist thumped to her chest. Her blue hair and blue ribbon on top are put together in a clumsy way, to the point one hair sticks out in the middle, not only that but she lacks a uniform, wearing only her normal blue dress and no shoes whatsoever. “Throw me at any challenge and you’ll see that one cannot make me any more perfect than I already am!” The only positive being her confidence and energy. Meiling can tell with only a glance that she’s got an attitude and ego, but if the circumstances and methods are set right. Then those traits can be put to good use in some way.

If Meiling were to challenge the girl, encourage her to set the proper example then her enthusiasm could potentially infect her allies and overall increase team morale and productivity in just one blow!

Yes, that will do, Meiling is sure that this girl will be easy to handle if she does things the right way.

“Hmmm, just the word training is making my hunger rise…” another girl lazily drools and rubs her stomach as she thinks about the potential food she could get as pay, her golden hair and red ribbon not taken care off at all if the dust and small sticks in it say anything, but in a way the hair seems undamaged and gives off a wild appeal behind it, naturally tough Meiling would say. Not to forget how the ribbon is sparkly clean despite being attached to such a dirty head, but enough of the head, let’s see below that. She’s respecting the dress code with her black dress and red tie and red beret on her head all put on properly, however the shoes have been ditched as well and her dress cut a bit for comfort. “Not only that, but the sun is so bright today….do we really have to be here?” complaint aside, she’s covered in a see-through yet blurry kind of dark orb, indicating her as a creature of the night, but then why is she awake at this hour? It doesn’t matter. Though more of a random throw, Meiling can guess that this girl is the one least concerned with effort or duty, that lack of will to work could be trouble but the fact she showed up regardless shows that she is capable of obeying orders.

But she probably thinks this is a fun event between friends and will grow fed up with the standard training if Meiling doesn’t properly handle the carrot and stick aspect off it. Let’s keep that in mind.

“Does this training include us crawling through mud? If so, I’m out. No way my dress gets dirty.” The girl with folded wings and the sing song voice seems the less enthused of all. And the least appropriately dressed too with her black leather clothes, sunglasses, stockings on her legs and the crimson guitar attached to her back, the only normal thing is her weird bird hat but one can tell from only a glance that not only did she NOT read the notice, but she came here at the very last minute…it’s a wonder the heat hasn’t gotten to her, but that’s because some darkness covers her.
“I’ll have you know I’ve got other things planned today, so this incident, event, game or whatever it is you THINK you have the right to summon me for better end before this evening or I’ll bail after.”

Ah, yet again there is trouble afoot. It makes Meiling want to sigh out loud, clearly this girl is a musician, but that much is obvious. What’s less obvious is what she's saying. For why would she have the impression that leaving is allowed? If anything, that’d be desertion and there’s measures against that. Maybe she misunderstood the summon notice? but that can be handled later. Now back to her training-wise. She seems like a smart girl, maybe a bit rebellious if one judges her based on her appearance and taste in music, but here’s the thing: one can’t really tell what’s the best measure for this girl or even the others by just a glance, it’s a process that’s’ going to take much more time and patience to draw out any real potential out of these gals, but Meiling is confident that everything will be fine. She’s no Sakuya but she’s managed to handle some fairies before.

Fairies being little girls in dresses who like to cook but hate to do the dishes, like to garden but forgot to water the plants every day, girls that act gentle but talk badly to one’s back, girls that….
These girls can’t be that hard in comparison, Meiling feels nothing could possibly go wrong!

Anyway, now for the last one, that being the girl with antennas on her green haired head. A golden monocle attached to her right eye, a dapper black hat with a red circle in the top, a black cape that goes from her shoulders to feet who’s insides are coloured red. A normal black suit that a gentleman would wear for a fancy party with some gratuitous fake jewels in some pockets. The girl ends the odd look by leaning on a golden cane with one hand as she quietly waits for Meiling to stop staring at her intensely, then tips her hat when it’s clear she won’t after a few seconds.

“What? You like what you see? There is a party, so BEFORE this sudden 'invitation' we were planning to go there! Now I don’t have to explain what a party is now do I?” her tone is irritated and ripe with condescension. “Well, it wouldn’t matter anyway since those plans are ruined because clearly your little mansion doesn’t know how to invite people without outright forcing them now, do they?” Okay, there is no need to analyze this one, she’s wearing her personality on a sleeve.

But that all said, Meiling feels like she should say something before her staring be- “Oh, and since we’re getting drafted where’s the beer huh?!” but Rumia interrupts right before she could speak, inquiring about rumours that have no basis at all but have somehow spread this fast already.

Meiling though a bit discouraged by her review of the recro-stooges, doesn’t let it get to her and replies to the question with a general-like tone of voice “There will no beer for you lot!” Not only is beer not the drink to consume during training “You’ll all be part of the armored division after all so absolute discipline will be needed!” it’d be counterintuitive to be drunk during work!

Mystia ears perk up at that, "The amore division huh? Does that mean we’ll get to talk to muscled men with big guns that happen to be single and lonely?" not caring for Meiling’s answer, she puts her hands around her cheeks as they slightly flush. “Always said I was more a lover than a fighter ♡︎”

“Wait big muscly men? Would they happen to be tasty?” And now Rumia is interested as well.

“A man with muscles is always tasty!” Mystia confirms the wrong idea.

“Oh? Then I’m more of a lover too!” And now it’s stuck in Rumia's head too.

“Actually…” Meiling feels like she should nip this idea in the bud, for there is no such thing. Many of the current forces are composed of fairy maids and some youkais from the lake and forest nearby. In a way the current number is underwhelming but still there are absolutely no men around here. Why would she even think there are men around? Is she just being passive aggressive? Because if s-

Cirno crosses her arms and lets out a I-know better smug-filled kind of snort "Lovers? AS IF, you all really love to fight!" and she declares nonsense on them with a grand hand gesture.

"Calling me out huh? Well, I'll show you whose arm-ored!" In response, Mystia gets behind her, lubes up two of her fingers and shoves her sharp nails in both of Cirno’s ears!

"OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH!” Of course, that hurts a bit, that’s a lie, it hurts a lot! “Well then, let me give you my tanks for that!" But Cirno recovers quickly and lands a kick against the bird’s chin with all her strength. The force behind it knocks Mystia off the ground and into Rumia, who catches her “Coin toss!” and flips her back into the air like a coin.

Mystia lands heads up. Which means Rumia gets to check the list, she takes out a paper and crosses the mark. “And Bingo!” with a cheer, she has won the bingo and Wriggle takes out the cash-piggy.

“Mysti, you fool” Cirno speaks to the prone bird, her confidence at her peak. “Do you not understand your mistake? As a superior lifeform I have no need for ears!” her ears despite her claim do still exist for they are sore and red. “Okay maybe they do exist, but still, they are not waah?!” Mystia uses the opportunity to get up and quickly jumps on Cirno again, pushing her to the ground.

“If it’s not the ears, then it is the face!” A punch follows that sentence, hitting Cirno in the face. “OUCH!” but it is Mystia who yells in pain as she holds her sore knuckle. “Oh great! Not only are you annoying but you’re a massive blockhead too!” this enrages Cirno, “Blockhead? I’ll show how big my head is!” which she does, by giving Mystia headbutt and the fight escalates into a ball of violence.

Nobody is stopping the fight, “Hey, wanna bet on who’s going to win?” Wriggle speaks up to Rumia, keeping her gaze on the cash-piggy she’s yet to give. “Correct better gets it all!” and has a lousy idea, using the fight that’s distracting everyone to get back what she never wanted to give at all.

“Oh, sure. I love games!” Rumia agrees to the offer, not seeing the deception behind it.

“Great, then I’ll bet on Cirno, and you bet on Mystia” what kind of friends are these people?

“Okay!” Rumia agrees again, clearly being conned out of the money she just won recently.

Alas, Meiling finally recollects herself from her stunned silence "Stop that right now you four! You're treading on thin ice with me!" fighting one’s teammates and gambling are highly unprofessional!

All four stop what they’re doing then look at the ground then each other "Should we tell her?"

“ENOUGH!” Meiling starts to lose her patience, of which there was many. But forces herself to remain composed since as their superior she must set the proper example. “From now on, any kind of infighting and gambling is not allowed. That aside, you will not speak unless spoken to- “

“So, like right now?” Cirno speaks up while still holding Mystia in a chokehold.

Meiling feels like a hammer is pounding her skull, but again she does not shout or spank and instead takes a nice long deep breath to regain her calm and then speaks again. “Ok, Ok, things may be revealing a lot of complications, but I can make this work” she mostly whispers to herself to regain her courage as she reminds herself that both Remilia and Sakuya are counting on her for this, she’s the one with the martial discipline after all. So, she must do this. She can do this and will do this!

Skip to 5 minutes later, she succeeds in getting the girls to sit still and in a proper line. What it took to finally get them to this point is better left unsaid and to be forgotten for the rest of time. Forever.

“Good, you’ve finally all lined up…” Meiling lets out a sigh of relief, she has moved mountains before, defeated monsters the size of buildings, but who knew that this task would be so hard?

“Now, a lot has happened. So I’m going to do the introduction again, but first why don’t you all tell me a little about yourselves? That way we all know each other a little bit better.”

“I’m Cirno!” Cirno speaks up first and then says nothing else, as if that explains everything.

“I’m Rumia!” Following her example, Rumia does the same.

“I’m Mystia~🎶” And so does Mystia, with a sing song tone at Meiling’s effort to not look dismayed.

“I’m Wriggle” And Wriggle does it too, except she’s not shouting.

They’re doing this on purpose aren’t they? Such a thought enters Meiling’s head, but god bless her soul she once again dismisses the thought and focuses on her objective. “…Nice to meet you all, now as I’ve said before. You four are some of the many youkais that have been dra- “

“Who are the others?” Cirno interrupts again, but at least her hand is raised in the air.

“Don’t interrupt me.” Meiling again proves her self-control by not snapping. “So, as I was saying yo- “

“But you said we could speak when spoken to!” This time Mystia speaks up too, no outrage on her face or anything that suggests she doesn’t really get it. What there is however is a smug little smile.

“Yeah, what’s the deal with that huh!” Which encourages Cirno to speak up again, though she probably would have anyway, this doesn’t make it any less headache-inducing.
“Huh, wait a minute?” Rumia starts to speak up too, “Does that make her a hypo-hmph” but she’s silenced by Wriggle putting a hand against her mouth, since Meiling’s starting to look a bit strange.
What a perceiving eye Wriggle has, for she’s completely on the mark! Although Meiling’s posture is calm and she’s wearing a relaxed smile. A sharp eye will notice a small line adorned across her body which sparkles with a rainbow-like color. Overall, it seems harmless if not quite nice to look at but…

Wriggle gains a cold sweat and whispers frantically to her comrade. “Those aren’t just pretty colors Rum, that’s Meiling being so pissed off that her killing intent is starting to unconsciously leak out.”

Rumia pauses at the reveal, then shrugs her shoulders. “Okay so what? Wasn’t that the point?”

“What?” Wriggle doesn’t understand.

“I thought that was the plan?” Rumia continues “That since we don’t want to join, we must look as incompetent as possible so that they’ll kick us out, right? That was the plan, right?”
“Oh, oh yeah. That’s a clever idea. Why didn’t you say share that BEFORE we came, he- “
“Plan?” Rumia blinks again. “Why share something that would fail if shared with you gals? It’s easier for me to say nothing and afterwards go home for a nice long meal and nap.”

“Wow. That’s very selfish of you!'' Contrary to that statement, Wriggle looks impressed.
“Eh, I learned from the best.” Both give each other a high-five.
“Wow, what a great idea” Mystia repeats the phrase with sarcasm. Then points at Meiling. “What a shame, you’ve admitted all that right in front of the person you were supposed to fool!”

“Hah, idiot!” Cirno mocks Rumia too, not noticing that Meiling is suddenly walking towards all of them.
“Are you kids done playing around?” Meiling asks the girls a calm question, her final step towards them cracks the very ground they’re standing on and causes a tiny, harmless, totally not a threat, quake.
“Hah, playing around you say?” Cirno speaks up again, but then happens to get eye-contact with Meiling “Yes, I’m done playing. I’ll be good now, miss.” and becomes a lot more obedient.

The others say nothing. Cirno was about to but a good ol hand on mouth stops that.

“Good!” Their reactions do little to change Meiling’s current mood, “Now. Back to what I was saying for the FINAL time. You girls have been drafted to fight on behalf of the Scarlet Devil. It is my responsibility to shape you all into the ideal’s soldiers.”

Mystia is about to throw a jab at Rumia “Psh, good luck with big bone-n-nothing“but stays quiet the moment Meiling gives her a nice long look. Who knew taunting a dragon was a bad idea?

“To accomplish that in this short timeframe, I’m going to make you all go through a bunch of specialized exercises. Exercises that would kill a lesser man and perhaps some of you, but I am confident that whoever which ones of you remain will have a different outlook on life once we are done here in what I call the Dragon Bootcamp. No, don’t raise your hands. You’ve talked long enough so now let us start the warming up with a harmless little practice. The one in which you only repeat after me understood?” Meiling pauses to see them nod, “Good, now then let’s begin: *I don’t know what I’ve been told*”

All four reply simultaneously. “You told us to only repeat after you.”

“ENOUGH! You four have got to be the most obnoxious runts I’ve had the pleasure to meet here. You four are rude, crude and have no respect for anybody’s respect or time, you are all the worst!”

“The pleasure’s all ours!” Somehow Cirno sees that as a compliment.
“That’s it, you three…” Having decided that these gals are in no way suitable soldiers. Meiling decides to instead assign them to…

[X] Janitor Duty, have fun washing toilets for the next few months. (Easy)
[X] Forlorn Hope, have fun being cannon fodder for the next assault. (Normal)
[X] Cav Scouts, still cannon fodder except they’d have to be stealthy. (Hard)

Regardless of the choice, she'd no longer need to deal with them afterwards. (Hopefully)
She's still going to have to correct their dress-code afterwards, but that's for after the training.


A fairy, a maid, a rockstar and a magician apply for the army. None of them are good soldiers.
Now to see which division they get into and thus what misadventures they’re going to have.
Either way here's another story featuring the sdm cast heavily. Enjoy you sdm-mites!