Ah, right. Hmhm.

>>44072 I'll formally rule this a valid write-in.

[X] Apologize to Suwako, explain, pull Byakuren aside...
　[x] ...to talk about the booze.

The booze mustn't flow.

New thread: >>44087

(X) “Was this place a restaurant?”

(x) “How do you feel about kissing?”

No way this could go wrong

Here comes the new thread link!

>>43947

Elizabethan English doesn't remotely work that way.

>>43514 Tis a shame shall I really just write normally instead of trying to halfass it?

[x] Remilia Scarlet
action plan charisma break

Lesson 12: Hecatia Lapislazuli

Hello again, and welcome to the classroom. I’ve been informed that this should be my final lecture.

Kasen: “Ahem. That is indeed the case.”

Do not worry, I won’t ask for a written test at the end. Though I would like to thank everyone who attends or has attended to these. For all the efforts and trials I’ve been through, these were still so very fun to present.

Anyway, I at least get to make the joke that I’ve been to hell and back for today’s lecture. I haven’t had minor beings for the last few lectures and today’s tops it with the most powerful known being in Gensokyo, Hecatia Lapislazuli.

Hecatia: “I feel honored.”
Cirno: “Well professor, actually-“
*Kasen whacks Cirno*

The goddess of various hells, boundaries, and witchcraft. The ruler of all unwanted freewheelers. The three-bodied deity. You get the point. There won’t be much philosophical or scientific waxing today as the topics involved are all independently dense enough to cover.

I'm sad you never got to cover Momiji.
It was a nice story though, hope to see Tanner again.

My inner child loves this story a lot. A dinosaur is always welcome, and the hodgepodge of personalities in the buddhist cast only makes it better.

I like Dinosaurs.

You know what? That's so good, I'm putting it on the fridge.

Seriously though, you guys are great, thanks for all of the support.

Until next time!

Closing votes.

Looks like we'll be heading to Suzunaan after grabbin' some grub.

Holy dam, Damn good story

Holy dam, Damn good story

>>43286
>genealogical relation
Well, I suppose I was going more for the 'borrowing' angle, but good point.

>>43284

There's this http://www.oxford-shakespeare.com/Nashe/Unfortunate_Traveller.pdf which is surprisingly easy to read and write off of compared to Shakespeare, who fucked around with verb orders to match iambic pentameter.

>>43288
Neato. Thanks for sharing.

God, but he's verbose. Well worth it, though; he's busting my sides from page one.

"Actions born from Desire; Getting caught in whims of others and my own. The consequences catching up, causing... this."

You can squeeze in an "Apologies, Master.". But then you'd be at 21 words.
Or you could shift the blame to the guard, after all~ you'll find your own words for him too.

Glad you made your first own choice since - if you could call it that - coming back.
---
Reader Comment: Exciting! Usually wresting away voter choice is corny but it worked decently well. There was ample enough foreshadowing (if the conversation near the beginning of the story wasn't explanation enough) that Anne is 'her own' and the votes are more like random voiced thoughts in her head. So it's not like it came completely out of the blue. It's still a bit corny. The good corny. Like a popcorn about to pop, not the kernel stuck between your teeth.

Maaan, I have no idea if I should act a bit with the meta and 'talk with Anne' as her thought or not. It's certainly a fun prospect to go along with. I PURPOSEFULLY did not place [x] before my dialogue because it's Anne's choice to go along with it.
I definitely do NOT want to have this go any deeper in the layers of Meta-story-adventuring, escalating to characters talking to and with the voters and writers. Stories like these as a rule devolve into a mess that's unfun to read.

You could have done away with at least one, even better two, of the paragraphs of Anne screaming 'AHHH'. (Mind I'm writing merely as if this is objective, in actuality these are 'just' my experiences reading stuff) The potency of having someone scream impetuously in written speech is that the reader has his very personal idea (and possibly experience) of what it's like to scream loudly and desperately at everyone and everything and no one and nothing in particular. Invoking this feeling (or experience) in writing is the strongest the first time it's done, because the reader's callback is sudden and thus visceral. It consequently loses it'

"Actions born from Desire; Getting caught in whims of others and my own. The consequences catching up, causing... this."

I think Seiga would accept this answer pretty readily. We can only hope the reader voices are not going to cause some strange multi-personality disorder. It would be funny if voting turmoil usually ends up with Anne getting fed up with everything.

As for other anon's blurb, I pretty much agree with the sentiment. This was a case where 'show don't tell' wasn't used in a rather literal sense. Which is funny, because between the paragraph long verbal screeches was a legitimately great descriptor of the scream itself.

>>43277

Talking to Anne or not is entirely your own choice, and yeah it's not planning to go any deeper than that. At most Anne would get some odd looks or be dismissed as cuckoo if she told anyone about the voices in her head like most people would in the Outside World. Which naturally would lead to one's credibility being lowered.

> We can only hope the reader voices are not going to cause some strange multi-personality disorder

Doubt it, though who she perceives herself to be or in other words the person she used to be can change depending on SPOILER or what info you find about it or what other people say when asked about it. (Though such info would always be not 100% accurate since people have opinions and stuff. Someone could think you were an complete B-word while someone else could not care less about you etc, ad infinitum. If there even are people who know you? Vaque vibes wooo~) but yeah it's mostly Anne and you Anons, not some Elfen Lied stuff since that's too much for a novice writer and overall offputting to me. If not quite unnecesary to the whole plot and vibes of the story itself.



> Shades of Anger

I did not actually know that and that's very VERY juicy to learn about and I shall keep it in mind for the next occasion (if there is one). Thanks for the advice!

And yeah I did post the scream a bit too much didn't I? That won't happen again if I can help it which I can.

[x] He must be aroused by the barmaid he cannot seem to remember.

whale

[X] He must be aroused by the barmaid he cannot seem to remember.

Miyoi

[x] He must buy this lady a drink to repay her for convincing the barmaid.

Honestly, Kizin, of the stories I have read from you Unchanging Days was probably my favourite of your works "It’s still debatably with Maf2."

The relationship that Reimu and Kogasa was probably the cutest pairing I have ever read, their personalities playing off with each other making them just so damn cute; You should do more fluffy fluff stories in the future.

The theme I honestly never really noticed more blinded by how cute Reimu and Kogasa were XD.

The one issue I had, which wasn't really an issue, was just not enough sex scenes "I know the main focus was the fluff,” just a personal gripe I had. There just something about a good sex scene between two characters that have great chemistry that makes it all the sweeter “or something IDK.”

I eagerly await Make A Fist 2.

Gotta say this is the sweetest thing I've read in awhile. Kogasa and Reimu play off each other very well

Nice connection to the first post at the end

>>43007
Thanks. I like simple things like that.

>>43006
Well I'll probably write something else with them in /at/ at some point, but dude there's like 7 lewd scenes in this, about half quite lengthy too. Probably too much!